Hi! It's been years since I've written an essay. I was wondering if I could get some feedback on my intro and conclusion. I think Im just about done with my essay, with the exception of these two portions. Thanks!
Intro:
The riddles in A Feast of Creatures historically represent and exemplify the importance of the vernacular texts and its significance amongst the great literary artists, such as Emily Dickinson. The mechanics and purpose of deepening the reader's perspective on society, the world, and the subject itself is well developed throughout the three pieces examined. This comparison gives validity to the vernacular texts as a whole; from children's rhymes to riddles written in old English, they are each significant in the world of poetry and literature. The purpose of a poem is not only for simple pleasure and entertainment, the purpose of these particular poems are a riddle within a riddle. The three poems of discussion included a riddle not blatantly exposing the answer, another hinting the answer by giving the letters, and one that gave the answer in the riddle itself. The three have different approaches to riddling the reader, but they all have the same effect. Though the broadened, or deepened, perception on the world may have differed from reader to reader, the riddles purpose was still seen through: for the reader to gain understanding. One's purpose in life may still be an inscrutable and mysterious matter for now; and thus, meaning that life is similar to the Sphinx. As Oedipus solved the riddle of the Sphinx, individuals must solve the riddle of purpose in life.
Conclusion:
The riddles in A Feast of Creatures historically represent and exemplify the importance of the vernacular texts and its significance amongst the great literary artists, such as Emily Dickinson. The mechanics and purpose of deepening the reader's perspective on society, the world, and the subject itself is well developed throughout the three pieces examined. This comparison gives validity to the vernacular texts as a whole; from children's rhymes to riddles written in old English, they are each significant in the world of poetry and literature. The purpose of a poem is not only for simple pleasure and entertainment, the purpose of these particular poems are a riddle within a riddle. The three poems of discussion included a riddle not blatantly exposing the answer, another hinting the answer by giving the letters, and one that gave the answer in the riddle itself. The three have different approaches to riddling the reader, but they all have the same effect. Though the broadened, or deepened, perception on the world may have differed from reader to reader, the riddles purpose was still seen through: for the reader to gain understanding. One's purpose in life may still be an inscrutable and mysterious matter for now; and thus, meaning that life is similar to the Sphinx. As Oedipus solved the riddle of the Sphinx, individuals must solve the riddle of purpose in life.
The main focus of the essay are the three riddles. My teacher didnt like my first introduction and said I needed to stick to the three riddles and be specific. He said I could have the sphinx story, just not taking up the whole intro. So how does this look? Comments critiques are greatly appreciated!
Greetings!
It appears your Intro and Conclusion are exactly the same, word for word. I'm thinking that you may have accidentally pasted in the same one twice ...? At any rate, I'll address the one that's here.
"The purpose of a poem is not only for simple pleasure and entertainment, the purpose of these particular poems are a riddle within a riddle." - Besides being a run-on sentence, the two parts of the sentence are apples and oranges. The first part makes a broad statement about the purpose of poems in general; the second part refers to these specific poems. I'd take out the first phrase entirely and re-word the second: "The purpose of these three poems is to create a riddle within a riddle."
"The three poems of discussion included a riddle not blatantly exposing the answer, another hinting the answer by giving the letters, and one that gave the answer in the riddle itself." - This sentence is a little difficult to understand. Better might be, "The three poems include, respectively, a riddle not blatantly exposing the answer, another hinting at the answer by giving the letters [what letters? be more specific], and one that gave the answer in the riddle itself."
"Though the broadened, or deepened, perception on the world may have differed from reader to reader, the riddles purpose was still seen through: for the reader to gain understanding." - This sentence is confusing and the conclusion it makes, "to gain understanding," sounds rather simplistic to me, although, admittedly, I have not read the poems and cannot say for sure.
"One's purpose in life may still be an inscrutable and mysterious matter for now; and thus, meaning that life is similar to the Sphinx." - I can't really make sense of this sentence. I think you may have tried to pare down the Sphinx reference to the point where the connection is lost.
I hope these comments are helpful to you!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
