"The Struggle Of Women in Afghanistan"; "A thousand Splendid Suns"

Okay so i have an essay due on Wednesday January 6 worth 15% of my mark and i want to do good.
So firstly, I want to know if my thesis is strong enough. My topic is "The Struggle Of Women in Afghanistan".
My thesis is, "In the novel, A Thousand Splendid Suns, Khaled Hosseini depicts the plight of women in Afghanistan by portraying male dominance, the low status of women, and marriage."

This is not strong. In order to be strong, it has to be sharp. A sharp thesis is one that is "narrow," and by that I mean it has to say something more specific. I could say the Star Wars trilogy is a story of good verses evil in a futuristic, distant past, but that would not be very sharp. It is sharper if I make KEEN observations: The Star Wars trilogy expresses ideas that parallel Eastern philosophy's notions of mastery, energy, and spiritual enlightenment. -----> after making this thesis, I can argue about it.

Who would argue with your thesis? Nobody! So make an assertion that is specific enough for someone to argue with it. That makes it meaningful!

You might want to pull out 10 quotations/citations from the book, look at them all together, and then wait for a thesis statement to come to mind.

Okay i have a different one now

In the novel, A Thousand Splendid Suns, the novelist depicts the plight of women in Afghanistan by portraying the aspects of male dominance in their personal lives, social lives, and political lives of their female counter parts

This would be my version of its thesis if I were to write one:
"In the Thousand Splendid Suns, Mr. Hosseni paints the dreams and aspirations of Afgani women and depicts their plight and resignation in a male dominated setting through a story that spans over two generation."

Though I like the book, I found it a bit melodramatic, like a Bollywood moive.