Hello, I am 49 and just now attending college for the first time. It's been awhile lets say since I have done this. The assignment is a cause/effect essay 2-3 pages . This is what I was starting with:
I never dreamed I would be a college student, espesilly at the age of 49 and with a disability. I was married with three children. My two older boys where already graduated high school and off to college and my daughter was just finishing up her senior year in high school. My husband and I had established our own small business that we ran together and for the most part things were good. I mean we were not rich by any means ,but we where able to pay our bills, help the kids off to college and still be able to take alittle time for ourselfs now and then. Then, in May 2008, everything changed. I was diagnoised with Multiple Sclerosis.
I don't know if I am on the right track??? Can I do this kind of paper with like Going back to school with a disability or because of my disability I need to find new career I can do or the cause is the MS and the effect has lead me to college???? So not sure of myself here.
I never dreamed I would be a college student, especially at the age of 49 and with a disability. I was married with three children. My two older boys where already graduated high school and off to college and my daughter was just finishing up her senior year in high school. My husband and I had established our own small business that we ran together and for the most part things were good. I mean we were not rich by any means, but we where able to pay our bills, help the kids off to college and still be able to take little time for ourselves now and then. Then, on May 15, 2008, everything changed. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.
I had awakened early that morning, after going to bed just fine, to a headache and a strange tingling in my right leg. I took a couple Tylenol and proceeded to try and wake-up my leg. You know the feeling when your foot falls asleep, that's what it felt like, except this was not going away. As the morning went along it had spread up my right side and was getting tighter. We ended up going to the emergency room where I was admitted. I spent the next two weeks undergoing all sorts of testing - lots of blood work, spinal tap and a total of 5 MRI's. They tried high doses of cortisone that they said usually works, but it did not in my case.
After all this, I was told I had MS and hopefully it would improve. I was barely able to walk with the aid of a walker when I left the hospital, but I did regain some strength after several months and am now able to walk fairly well with a cane. Now is when reality really hit home. So many things I used to do, things you take for granted, I was no longer capable of doing. Because of my MS, I am unable to drive a car because my legs don't function well enough. All the things I loved like going for a hike, gardening, and just lifting something over 10 lbs or so have become extremely difficult or impossible. One of the hardest things to deal with as a result of my MS has been that I can no longer do most of the work I used to do in our business because of my physical limitations.
For the most part, I have adjusted to the way I have to live my life now with all the limitations I have, but I know there is still so much I am capable of doing.
I have done a bit more, please tell me if I am doing ok Thanks
I'm still a little confused on what it is that you are doing. Are you supposed to give an example of a cause and its effect? I'm just going to assume that's what you are gonna do and help. :)
Needs a title. I think any essay needs a title. Maybe you'll come up with it at the end.
I never imagined myself as a college studentdreamed I would be a college student , especially at the age of 49 and with a disability. I was married with three children. My two olderst boys where already graduated from high school and were off to college.and myMy daughter was just finishing up her senior year in high school. My husband and I had established and managed our own small business.that we ran together and fF or the most part, things were good. I mean we were not rich by any means, but we wh ere able to pay our bills, help the kids off to college and still be able to take little time for ourselves now and then. Then, on May 15, 2008, everything changed. I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.
I like your introduction. It just needed some grammatical fixes. I like how you established a pretty simple and happy life and then introduced the problem at the end. Af
After going to bed the night before, I woke up early that morning to a headache and strange tingling in my right leg.I had awakened early that morning, after going to bed just fine, to a headache and a strange tingling in my right leg. I took a couple Tylenolof Tylenol pills and proceeded to try and wake-upwaking up my leg. You know the feeling when your foot falls asleep,?T hat's what it felt like, except this was not going away. As the morning went along , it had spread up my right side and was getting tighter. I was then admitted to the emergency roomWe ended up going to the emergency room where I was admitted. I spent the next two weeks undergoing all sorts of testing - lots of blood work, spinal tap and a total of 5 MRI's. They tried high doses of cortisone that they saidclaimed usually works, but it did not in my case.
After all of this frenzy , I was told I had MS and hopefully it would improve. I was barely able to walk with the aid of a walker when I left the hospital, but I did regain some strength after several months and am now able to walk fairly well with a cane. Now it is when reality really hit home. So many things I used to do, things you take for granted, I was no longer capable of doing. Because of my MS, I am unable to drive a car because my legs don't function well enough. All the things I loved like going for a hike, gardening, and just lifting something over 10 lbs or so have become extremely difficult or impossible. One of the hardest things to deal with as a result of my MS has been that I can no longer do most of the work I used to do in our business because of my physical limitations.
For the most part, I have adjusted to the way I have to live my life now with all the limitations I have, but I know there is still so much I am capable of doing.
Clearly, you have to work on the conclusion. Just keep working on it. I like your essay. Just make sure that you focus on the overall effects of what MS has done for you. It seems a little obvious that you are unable to do a lot of the physical things the same way you used to. Focus on how MS has changed your relations with your family, friends, etc. Talk about how you feel. Do you feel useless? miserable? etc.? These would be more interesting to read about.
Good luck!!! :)
espesilly
Hey, you should get a program with a spell checker. I use firefox as my browser, and it caught this spelling error above by underlining it. If you use microsoft word you can have it catch spelling errors, too. If you are going back to school, get very very good at using microsoft word. Watch video tutorials on youtube.
Now
is when reality is really hitting home.
So many things I used to do, things you take for granted, I was no longer capable of doing. ---I hate that feeling. I'm sorry you are going through that! chopra.com/node/1560
In answer to your question, you certainly are doing okay. The writing is well structured, because it all extends from that main idea expressed at the end of the first paragraph.
When you reach the end of the essay, leave the reader with something "extra" to think about.
:-)
