Hi was wondering if my introduction to my essay sounded ok; it sounds really choppy to me, so im just trying to get feedback. Any and all suggestions are welcome, Thanks.
What my essay is about: health promotion regarding teen pregnancies (i.e how to prevent it)
so i've started writing my essay, how does it sound so far. Im particulary concerned about the second to last paragraph (i dont like my wording) and im also concerned if my essay is flowing nicely from paragraph to paragraph.
In the United States, nearly 900 000 conceptions occur in adolescents per year. More than 4 in 10 adolescent girls have been pregnant at least once before twenty years of age. About 51% of adolescent pregnancies end in live birth, 35% end in induced abortion and the other 14% result in miscarriage. Once an adolescent has had an infant, she is at an increased risk of having another. 25% of adolescent births are not the first birth. Even more concerning is that 90% of fifteen to nineteen year olds describe their pregnancies as being unintended. Currently 45% of high school females and 48% of high school males have had sexual intercourse. Approximately, one fourth of all youth report having had intercourse by fifteen years of age. 11% of high school females and 17% of high school males report having had four or more sexual partners. Research also shows that contraceptive use plays a role in adolescent pregnancies. Despite increasing use of contraception by adolescents at the time of first intercourse, 50% of adolescent pregnancies occur within the first six months of initial sexual intercourse. 39% of females in grade nine and 54% in grade eleven report using oral contraceptive at last intercourse. 15% and 17% respectively report using no contraceptive or the with-drawl method. However, many of the adolescents who report using prescription contraceptives delayed seeing a clinician for a prescription until they had been sexually active for one year or more. Adolescent pregnancy is a key health concern not only because the numbers are so high but because there are many risks involved when adolescents become parents.
Adolescent pregnancy continues to be an area of concern because maternal and fetal risks are the highest. Incidences of having a low birth weight infant among adolescents is more than double the rate for adults. Neonatal death rate is almost three times higher for adolescents than for adults. Mortality rate for the mother, although low is twice that for adult pregnant women. Adolescent pregnancy has also been linked to poor maternal weight gain, premature birth, pregnancy induced hypertension, anemia and STD's. Higher incidences of medical complications are not the only risks associated with adolescent pregnancy, there are also many psychosocial problems for both mother and child.
The psychosocial problems of adolescent pregnancy include school interruption, persistent poverty, limited vocational opportunities, separation from child's father, and repeat pregnancy. These factors are not independent of each other; they are all interconnected and influence one another. Adolescent parents tend to miss out on education, therefore, have limited job opportunities which lead to substantially lower incomes. They are more likely to suffer from relationship breakdowns and persistent poverty. As a result, children of adolescent parents have an increased risk of developmental delay, academic difficulties, behavioral disorders, substance abuse, early sexual activity, depression and becoming adolescent parents themselves. Adolescent pregnancy has several risk behaviors and factors associated with it that can be predictors of increased risk. Many of the behaviors are preventable, therefore recognizing and understanding them is important.
There are several factors that have been identified as predictors of adolescent pregnancy. The risk of becoming an adolescent parent is almost ten times higher in poor income households. Children of adolescent parents are one third more likely to become parenting adolescents themselves. Low education achievements, not being in school, training or work all increase the chances of becoming pregnant during adolescence. In some studies there has been a link between mental health problems and increased likelihood of adolescent pregnancy, as well as, 50%-60% of those who became pregnant during adolescence has a history of sexual or physical abuse. Many adolescent although have the capability to think as well as an adult, they do not have the experiences on which to build. Adolescents are generally incapable of making decisions based on a reasoned understanding of the future consequences of their actions. Adolescents often do not connect the actual act of intercourse with the real possibility of having a baby nine months later. This inability to perceive future consequences of current behavior is called cognitive immaturity. Another part of growing up mentally, adolescents experience what is called the personal fable. This line of thinking makes the adolescent believe they are unique, giving rise to risky behaviors, thinking that bad consequences won't happen to them. These factors lead adolescents to be at a much higher risk for the onset of sexual activity with all of its consequences.
There are several factors that correlate with the decreased risk of becoming an adolescent parent. Children who are raised by both parents have a decreased risk of becoming sexually active. Adolescents who regularly attend their places of worship delay the onset of sexual activity. Adolescents whose parents discuss sex with them are likely to delay the onset of sexual activity, as are adolescents who expect to get a post secondary education. An additional factor that helps protect adolescents is closeness or connectedness to their parents. Adolescents who relate well to their parents tend to delay the onset of sexual activity, and when they do become sexually active, they make better choices about contraception.
What my essay is about: health promotion regarding teen pregnancies (i.e how to prevent it)
so i've started writing my essay, how does it sound so far. Im particulary concerned about the second to last paragraph (i dont like my wording) and im also concerned if my essay is flowing nicely from paragraph to paragraph.
In the United States, nearly 900 000 conceptions occur in adolescents per year. More than 4 in 10 adolescent girls have been pregnant at least once before twenty years of age. About 51% of adolescent pregnancies end in live birth, 35% end in induced abortion and the other 14% result in miscarriage. Once an adolescent has had an infant, she is at an increased risk of having another. 25% of adolescent births are not the first birth. Even more concerning is that 90% of fifteen to nineteen year olds describe their pregnancies as being unintended. Currently 45% of high school females and 48% of high school males have had sexual intercourse. Approximately, one fourth of all youth report having had intercourse by fifteen years of age. 11% of high school females and 17% of high school males report having had four or more sexual partners. Research also shows that contraceptive use plays a role in adolescent pregnancies. Despite increasing use of contraception by adolescents at the time of first intercourse, 50% of adolescent pregnancies occur within the first six months of initial sexual intercourse. 39% of females in grade nine and 54% in grade eleven report using oral contraceptive at last intercourse. 15% and 17% respectively report using no contraceptive or the with-drawl method. However, many of the adolescents who report using prescription contraceptives delayed seeing a clinician for a prescription until they had been sexually active for one year or more. Adolescent pregnancy is a key health concern not only because the numbers are so high but because there are many risks involved when adolescents become parents.
Adolescent pregnancy continues to be an area of concern because maternal and fetal risks are the highest. Incidences of having a low birth weight infant among adolescents is more than double the rate for adults. Neonatal death rate is almost three times higher for adolescents than for adults. Mortality rate for the mother, although low is twice that for adult pregnant women. Adolescent pregnancy has also been linked to poor maternal weight gain, premature birth, pregnancy induced hypertension, anemia and STD's. Higher incidences of medical complications are not the only risks associated with adolescent pregnancy, there are also many psychosocial problems for both mother and child.
The psychosocial problems of adolescent pregnancy include school interruption, persistent poverty, limited vocational opportunities, separation from child's father, and repeat pregnancy. These factors are not independent of each other; they are all interconnected and influence one another. Adolescent parents tend to miss out on education, therefore, have limited job opportunities which lead to substantially lower incomes. They are more likely to suffer from relationship breakdowns and persistent poverty. As a result, children of adolescent parents have an increased risk of developmental delay, academic difficulties, behavioral disorders, substance abuse, early sexual activity, depression and becoming adolescent parents themselves. Adolescent pregnancy has several risk behaviors and factors associated with it that can be predictors of increased risk. Many of the behaviors are preventable, therefore recognizing and understanding them is important.
There are several factors that have been identified as predictors of adolescent pregnancy. The risk of becoming an adolescent parent is almost ten times higher in poor income households. Children of adolescent parents are one third more likely to become parenting adolescents themselves. Low education achievements, not being in school, training or work all increase the chances of becoming pregnant during adolescence. In some studies there has been a link between mental health problems and increased likelihood of adolescent pregnancy, as well as, 50%-60% of those who became pregnant during adolescence has a history of sexual or physical abuse. Many adolescent although have the capability to think as well as an adult, they do not have the experiences on which to build. Adolescents are generally incapable of making decisions based on a reasoned understanding of the future consequences of their actions. Adolescents often do not connect the actual act of intercourse with the real possibility of having a baby nine months later. This inability to perceive future consequences of current behavior is called cognitive immaturity. Another part of growing up mentally, adolescents experience what is called the personal fable. This line of thinking makes the adolescent believe they are unique, giving rise to risky behaviors, thinking that bad consequences won't happen to them. These factors lead adolescents to be at a much higher risk for the onset of sexual activity with all of its consequences.
There are several factors that correlate with the decreased risk of becoming an adolescent parent. Children who are raised by both parents have a decreased risk of becoming sexually active. Adolescents who regularly attend their places of worship delay the onset of sexual activity. Adolescents whose parents discuss sex with them are likely to delay the onset of sexual activity, as are adolescents who expect to get a post secondary education. An additional factor that helps protect adolescents is closeness or connectedness to their parents. Adolescents who relate well to their parents tend to delay the onset of sexual activity, and when they do become sexually active, they make better choices about contraception.
