I am taking an ILC English course and I am trying to do key question 14 of KING LEAR. I need some help. The question is based on the abridged version of Joyce Carol Oates's "Is This the Promised End?". For this question, I have to state the thesis of the essay, which I have preprared. Can you please go through it and give some suggestions for improvement?
Essay Thesis:
Although the human soul is in a constant search of redemption and achievement of some sort of spiritual awakening, the “promised end” that we so eagerly, and tirelessly, search for, falls short in comparison to the austere certainty of time. In her essay, “Is This the Promised End?”, Joyce Carol Oates seems to suggest that we, as humans, try to understand and control the world around us, but have little to no control upon the outcome of our destiny. Lear’s realization that he is “bound upon a wheel of fire” (Act IV. 7. 45) reminds one that life itself is like a wheel, one that continuously turns with or without our allocation. Although Lear struggles to control not only his destiny, but the destiny of those around him as well, he is of no mach to the tremendous power of Nature who takes away all the expectations he had. The Fool tells Lear “…thou are an O without a figure: I am better than thou art now; I am a fool, thou art nothing”. The Fool’s statement is in reference to the fact that Lear is now left with nothing. Even he, the Fool, is better than the King, who has now returned to his starting point. The wheel has turned full circle and the journey must begin once more.
You have some unnecessary commas:
...the "promised end" for which we so eagerly and tirelessly search falls short in comparison...
Or how about a dramatic pause with dashes:
the "promised end" -- for which we so eagerly and tirelessly search -- falls short in comparison...
Well... the thing to do now is come up with a single sentence that succinctly says the main idea: what is your observation, the interesting -- sharp focus?
The last sentence of this gives an example to support the point you are making about the comparison, but you should end this with a sentence that directly says the main idea. It is like sharpening something. You want to be able to "capture" your central idea in a single, powerful sentence.
:-)
Kind regards!
