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Paragraph / Thesis Statement Check - Releasing of Government Information



Greg555x 2 / 2  
Dec 11, 2010   #1
There is an organization which poses a threat to the United States and may possibly cause millions of deaths. This threat is known as Wikileaks, founded by Julian Assange. Although the United States is targeted by this foul prestige, it also affects many countries and civilians world-wide. This will only further throw the world political balance off track, considering the fact that the world is already in an economic crisis as it is. Several reasons indicate the tragic influence this "monster" has on society. Three critical effects releasing government information would have on society would be the political pressure of every-day life, the provoked terrorism and aggression of other countries, and the bashing on our outlook of the government.

I would appreciate an analysis primarily on my thesis. This is my Introduction to a final exam.
Does it seem "fuerte" enough??

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 15, 2010   #2
the bashing on our outlook of the government.

Well... someone who wants to argue the opposite point of view would say the government should be run in ways that would not make us have a negative opinion about it.

This essay will be fuerte if you expound both sides of the argument. Really, the way to make an essay fuerte is to start by writing several paragraphs about various concepts you read about in articles, and THEN write your thesis statement at the end. Know what I mean?

Kids make it too difficult on themselves when they try to make a thesis statement and then search for info to support it. It is better to find info and then see how it all adds up before writing the thesis statement.

Also... "negative outlook on the government..."

:-)


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