At my school, we finished reading the Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison and it opened my mind to how we all once struggled with visibility and blindness in ourlives. So it would be really great if I could get heavy critiquing in idea, grammar, and just about everything else.
Identity
We all struggle with identity. Are we who we are because we define ourselves as so or is recognition from others needed to be visible? This question has plagued societies, ethnicities, and individuals as young as children for generations. This was most prevalent in my life during middle school; everyone associated me with Indian or Middle Eastern tendencies because of both my physical features and the already established stereotypes they learned growing up. With high cheek bones, a slender body structure, caramel-colored skin, and soft curly hair, my physical features do favor those of South and Middle East Asia. Whether it was the ignorance of adolescence or lack of cultured values; their blindness hurt me. They could not see that I was Christian and not Hindu or Muslim, or that my parents didn't own a gas station, or many other common stereotypes, but eventually, I had to give in and accept that I couldn't get them to see who I really was. I couldn't be who I wanted to be because the society I was placed in already labeled me something I wasn't and any attempt at fighting it would only be fighting an un-winnable battle. I lost who I was and conformed to what was around me. I gave up what made me different, becoming invisible at the same time. In a broader scope, society places destructive labels on ethnicities. These labels inhibit any attempt at complex individuals, and instead, classify them under a common generality regardless of their individuality. Simple stereotyping like "white men can't jump" or "all Asians are good at math" categorizes all Asians, white males, and anyone else that falls under that generality but it does more than take away what makes them different. It blinds society from those that defy the stereotype, enclosing those categorized in that generality, taking away what makes them different from the rest, and effectively destroying their visibility. Whether they fight the quota or not, these individuals are caught in a double whammy: either ridiculed by the quota for being different or not fulfilling who they are by giving in to society's stoic image of them. Individuals must conform internally, and eventually externally, to the quotas today. We are forced to suffer a life of unoriginality and to neglect what makes us different. The only way to counteract invisibility is for individuals, people like you and me are to not: be blind to others around us, accept preconceived notions established by society, and to see others for who they are and not who we are supposed to believe they are. To function in this world as who we want to be and not adhere to stereotypes and quota's will then allow for us to be seen for our real identities.
Thank you again!
Your essay is good, but you have a tendency to be a bit repetitive in places. Go through it again and read it outloud. LIsten to how it sounds and look for places where you are saying the same things, but in different ways. Good luck with your college search!
Corrections made. Anyone more edits please?
We all struggle with identity. Are we who we are because we define ourselves as so or is recognition from others needed to be visible? This question has plagued societies, ethnicities, and individuals as young as children for generations. This was most prevalent in my life during middle school; everyone associated me with being either Indian or Middle Eastern because of both my physical features and the already established stereotypes they learned growing up. With high cheek bones, a slender body structure, caramel-colored skin, and soft curly hair, my physical features favor those of South and Middle East Asia. Whether it was the ignorance of adolescence or a lack of cultural value; their blindness hurt me. They could not see that I was Christian and not Hindu or Muslim, or that my parents didn't own a gas station, or many other common stereotypes. Eventually, I gave in and accepted that I couldn't get them to see who I really was. I couldn't be who I wanted to be because the society I was placed in already labeled me something else.Any attempt at fighting it would only be fighting a futile battle. I lost who I was and conformed to what was around me. I gave up what made me different, and became invisible. In a broader scope, society places destructive labels on ethnicities. These labels inhibit any attempt at complex individuals, and instead classifies them under a common generalization. Simple stereotyping like "white men can't jump" or "all Asians are good at math" categorizes all Asians, white males, and anyone else that falls under that generalization. it does more than take away what makes them different; It blinds society from recognizing those who defy the stereotype. Whether they fight the quota or not, these individuals are caught in a double whammy: they are either ridiculed by the quota for being different or they don't fulfill who they are by giving in to society's image of them. Individuals must conform internally, and eventually externally, to the quotas today. We are forced to suffer a life of unoriginality. The only way to counteract invisibility is for people like you and me to not: be blinded to those around us, not accept preconceived notions established by society, but see others for who they are and not who we believe them to be. To function in this world as who we want to be and not adhere to stereotypes and quota's will allow for us to be seen as our true selves.
