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ANTHROPOLOGY graduate admissions statement of purpose (California Santa Cruz)



alysonsf 1 / 1  
Sep 14, 2010   #1
a concise, well-written essay about your background and your reasons for pursuing graduate study in the field you have chosen. Selection committees place particular importance on the statement of purpose. It exhibits your ability to present ideas in clear, coherent language. Your statement of purpose should indicate:

How knowledgeable you are in the desired field of study
How your undergraduate studies and other experiences (work, community involvement, and so forth) serve as a foundation for graduate study
How and why you intend to build on this foundation of knowledge and apply your graduate training to social or theoretical problems

The Emerging Worlds Initiative in the Anthropology Department at XXX is the apotheosis (or quintessence?) of what I firmly believe the field of Cultural Anthropology must strive for. I believe Cultural Anthropology is in the unique position to be placed in the service of helping the communities that comprise our contemporary world. I am applying to the PhD program at XXX because I feel the faculty and aims/objectives of your department will not only be integral but essential to my own development as an Anthropologist and as a community member of San Francisco and the extended Bay Area.

As a prospective graduate student of the Anthropology department at the University of XXX, my aims are two-fold. First, I hope to examine first-hand the social construct of psychological experiences, and particularly the differences in the concepts of psychosis and mental health treatment in Latino-American communities. My personal commitment to social equity has propelled my desire to understand why certain (e.g. Latino) populations are less likely to seek out or receive viable mental health services, and why stigma regarding mental health persists in certain populations over others. Arriving at an understanding of the central issues surrounding the disparity in receiving counseling and psychological services, I hope, will help to provide communities with greatly needed health services in a manner that is culturally relevant and therefore more well-received than they are currently.

Second, as a more analytical undertaking, I hope to gain from the expertise of faculty members as Dr. XXX and Dr. XXX to further my theoretical knowledge of religion, ritual, and religious experiences as they relate to the larger social sphere. My objective will be to examine analytically the function of religion, spiritual experiences, and ritual in contemporary small-scale societies in North America and Mexico. Because religion is such a rich and integral component to North American and Latino communities (as well as others), I believe religious values and rituals may be, and perhaps must be, used as a backdrop of understanding these communities on a larger social scale.

I am confident that both my theoretical and research aspirations can be met and succeeded with the help of the exemplary faculty members at University of XXX. It would be a true honor to work with Dr. XXX of the Anthropology faculty at XXX, who, through her work on cross-cultural mental health has inspired much of my own desire for inquiry into Latino mental health services. In addition, I am drawn to UC XXX particularly because of the department's openness and encouragement for students to work in collaboration with faculty members in other disciplines. I hope to utilize this invaluable resource, for I feel the collaboration with such faculty members as Dr. Patricia Zavella who has expertise in Chicano Studies and ethnographic research methods, will help materialize my current research goals.

Although my involvement in academic research began in 2004, my most recent engagements have been a propelling force in my interest to pursue Cultural Anthropology at the University XXX. Currently, I am a part of two community-based projects which aim to promote social justice and health and education equity. Most longstanding, the past 18 months I have worked collaboratively as a co-principal investigator with three different colleges on a multi-disciplinary participatory action research project. The project aims for educational equity for women in math and science and has integrated the participation of undergraduate and graduate students at San Francisco State University, City College of San Francisco, and California Polytechnic University, San Luis Obispo. My research team, inclusive of myself, Dr Avi Ben-Zeev of the Psychology department of San Francisco State University, and Jay Ledbetter, has collected qualitative data from focus groups at these colleges in order to provide a more complete understanding of a phenomenon known as "stereotype threat". In the future, we hope to use the collected data to create an effective and accessible intervention for women and underrepresented populations to combat the effects of stereotype threat.

In addition, I am currently collaborating with Dr. Mariana Ferreira of the Anthropology program at San Francisco State University and several other students to collect ethnographic research which will eventually be culminated in a health-equity themed mural in the Mission district of San Francisco. My personal involvement has included electronic mapping (via Google Maps) of current San Francisco Bay Area murals, extensive personal interviews with community members, and analyses of qualitative data collected. The ultimate goal of the research team is to create a mural which represents and reflects the opinions, hopes, and desires of the local community in order to bring awareness to the current disparities in health care coverage and health concerns of minorities in San Francisco.

Based on my past, present, and future research goals, and my personal commitment to the Emerging Worlds Initiative, and community based research trajectories, I am confident that I will both immensely learn from and contribute to the greater academic atmosphere of the University of California Santa Cruz.

donrocks 5 / 120  
Sep 14, 2010   #2
Hello Alyson.
Let's talk about the first paragraph. You need to mention here why are YOU interested in this topic. Be specific on what exactly are you interested in. Suppose I write about chemistry, then I will mention my interests lie in atomic structure and configuration of atoms.

Approach in this essay I feel is a little jerky and not smooth. There is no flow/linking in the essay.

Instead of saying, Dr. this this and that, you can say this college's experiment on ... from anthropology is great and I would love to be a part of this scheme. Since you have not studied under that prof., one may raise an eyebrow over the line which doesn't seem to come from heart. Therefore, write about experiments and opportunity for research. This shows you took pains to read up their site and are truly enthu on going there.

Mention your accomplishment clearly in in each para. This is quite vague. Have done some journals or assistance related to your subject? If yes, mention that in one para separately and if not, mention something strong in your favor since they have asked, "How knowledgeable you are?"

Let's get organized on this.
Hope this helps. :)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Sep 16, 2010   #3
apotheosis (or quintessence?)---- these are both a little too much at the start. It's not good to write "I believe"... and you did it twice in a row. It is sort of a cliche, and it is something you can express in a better, more clever way.

Your intro only amounts to this:
The Emerging Worlds Initiative in the Anthropology Department at XXX is focused on helping the communities that comprise our contemporary world.

That does not say a lot, and it does not say what you actually think anth. should be about. Know what I mean? You need to actually say what you tink it should be about. Helping communities? Be more specific.

... not only be integral but essential ...---- I am afraid this is a bad phrase. It seems like trying hard to use large words! I'm sorry... :-)

Oh, now that I keep reading, I see that you have very valuable ideas! Okay, my challenge for you is to express these ideas in the smallest number of words possible. Do not use words that you would not use in ordinary conversation. State your excellent ideas and interests plainly, and do not use any unnecessary phrases and sentences. I think this has a lot of potential, but right now there is too much fluff! :-)
Khawater 1 / 8  
Sep 18, 2010   #4
I am in the same stage as you Alyson and I feel how difficult to arrange the ideas.
Can anybody help about the ideal way of writing the SOP in an arranged professional way?
e.g. what should the first paragraph include? is it better to start by writing about the subject or about the university?
Is it better to mention each area of the statement in one paragraph i.e. one for my past knowledge and one for experience etc. ?

Thank you
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Sep 20, 2010   #5
what should the first paragraph include? is it better to start by writing about the subject or about the university?

Good questions. This is what I say:

1. Say it.
2. Explain it.
3. Say it again.

That means you want to stab your reader with a forceful idea, one that you want to really convey. So you start by expressing it in a clever way, and then you explain it, and then say it again.

:-)
OP alysonsf 1 / 1  
Nov 19, 2010   #6
Thank you everyone for your help! I have changed my statement quite a bit with all of your feedback and am awaiting feedback now from a professor. What a great site this is! Thanks again!
donrocks 5 / 120  
Nov 20, 2010   #7
Help others to make it better!


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