hi all, please have a look at my diversity essay. deadline is 1st Jan so it will be very helpful if u r able to give ur feedback and comments asap.
PROMPT:Describe your leadership, work experience, service experience, or other significant involvement with racial, ethnic, socio-economic, or educational communities that have traditionally been underrepresented in higher education, and how these experiences would promote a diversity of views, experiences, and ideas in the pursuit of research, scholarship, and creative excellence (max 500 words).
Raised under circumstances where money never came easy, good education wasn't something I could take for granted. Securing the merit-cum-need-based scholarship in the first two years of college, hostel section waiver in junior year and the internship stipend in senior year is how I supplemented the intermittent cash flows from home, and ensured that my academics wasn't interrupted.
Coming to an institute 2300 km away from home on 35 hour train journey, and meeting students from all the states of India, has been an enriching experience. I became friends with people coming from remote areas lacking even the basic civic amenities, and cut off from the societal advances. Watching these students excel at their work proved to me the necessity of affirmative action even though I wasn't the beneficiary of the same.
Getting elected as the class representative in sophomore year gave me an opportunity to work closely with each one of my 60 classmates, not only formally but also personally. Addressing their problems, discussing the same with faculty, and finally getting them resolved was something that gave me immense satisfaction. In senior year, my classmates once again reposed immense faith in me and elected me the placement coordinator by 55 of the 58 votes casted. Ensuring a 100% placement at the end of the year justified the faith they had on me, and brought me a sense of fulfillment.
Meeting professors at the summer camp in IIT-Delhi who had completed their doctorates at Ivy League Schools in US, yet came back to India working with low salaries and serving the less privileged was an eye-opening experience. Their words still ring in my ears and inspire me to follow in their footsteps.
My internship on financial inclusion at Reserve Bank of India was another such enlightening experience. While conducting household surveys in far flung and backward districts, areas infested with Naxalite terrorism; and interacting with the local people I came to know the reasons of their harsh economic conditions. Witnessing their hospitality and their eyes full of expectations from the outside world was extremely touching. Meeting Self-Help Groups and Farmer Club members, and how they were engaging in poultry farming and animal husbandry apart from agriculture, just to send their children to elementary school, was like meeting face-to-face with their untold suffering and pain. Attending a university was not just a distant dream or outside their financial reach, it was simply way beyond their wildest imagination altogether. I prepared a critical review on the prevailing financial exclusion realizing how much more needed to be done to bring to them all that we take for granted in our day-to-day routine.
Such instances have shaped and influenced me in ways very different from other academic and professional activities. Coming through experiences like these have cultivated in me a strong sense of appreciation and deep empathy for the under-represented and the under-served. In discussion forums, I am not just able to perceive others' viewpoints but also address such concerns for the unrepresented. At Purdue, I believe these experiences will help me relate to people from diverse background with ease. I would be privileged to pursue my graduate studies at Purdue, and shall endeavor to make full use of this opportunity to carry out dedicated research for the larger community. In the long term, I would like to follow the footsteps of the IITD professors and serve the under-served back in India.
Your essay definitely has a point that is made straight across. You stick to the prompt, describe what makes the community underrepresented and struggling.
I say you've got a pretty solid essay right there.
I couldn't really find any flaws. :)
CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME WITH MY ESSAYS TOO? My deadline is also Jan. 1st! Thank yoouuuu. :))))
