U of T Engineering Supplementary Essay - extracurriculars and developed skills

Any advice would be helpful:)

qualities developed through activities

Reflecting on the activities that you have described above, what qualities do you believe that you have developed through your participation in these activities? How do you think they may have helped to prepare you for U of T Engineering? (250 words or less).

*The activities will be stated in another section above the essay. Admissions will have prior knowledge of what the activities listed down below are like.

Engineering is a collabration-based discipline-having the ability to lead and work in a team is fundamental to success in the field. At school and in the community, I hold significant positions on teams, where I work with others towards a common goal. My group-oriented experiences would transfer over to my time at U of T, from studying with classmates to working with collegues in a PEY co-op term. My participation in extracurriculars has also pushed me to develop my communication abilities. Through roles like Oakville Youth Action Committee chair and basketball coach, I have become more confident in expressing my original ideas and opinions. Film, too, is another way to communicate my thoughts. As the video executive of the T.R.A.I.L. team, and co-founder of the film club, I capture and share stories with my camera. Through film and interacting with different customers as a server, I have learned to view the world from the lens of others. My consideration of different perspectives is a quality that will be valuable on a diverse campus like U of T. Ultimately, my continued participation in all of the activities points to my commitment to constant growth. I am a lifelong learner, always curious and ready to improve from experiences.

Through my active engagement in extracurrciulars, I believe I have developed the skills required to succeed in U of T Engineering. They will allow me to take on any challenge encountered during my studies, independently and with a team.

You don't really need that long-winded introduction at the start. Your essay will be better helped, due to the word requirement, by a direct presentation of your response. Each response you have for each activity to participated in directly relates to your chosen major. However, you can better develop the explanations by increasing the information per activity. You must also reformat the presentation to use a paragraph presentation per activity. That will make it easier to read and keep track of in the eyes of the reviewer. Your activities are truly interesting but little developed in presentation due to the single paragraph presentation. Using the per topic paragraph format will help clean up the presentation and allow you to better explain / expand on the activity lessons that you feel helped prepare you for the major you have chosen. Try to discuss more than just a participation, indicate achievements when you can so that the preparation will have a more solid foundation to base itself upon.