Since my first economics lesson; Motivation Essay for MSc Econometrics

Hi there!

I'm trying to write a motivation essay for entry to a graduate program in the Netherlands (coming from the UK with BSc Economics).

The instructions say "around 300 words", which is rather tight. I'm currently at 358.

Any tips/criticisms would be greatly appreciated!

Since my first economics lesson at A-level, an insatiable curiosity has resonated within me. Undergraduate study has furthered my understanding of the theoretical foundations of economics, and numerical methods that support them. When researching my thesis I was captivated by economic methods not covered by the syllabus. This led to the realization that undergraduate economics is a mere introduction to an ever-expanding discipline.

Through studying econometrics at an advanced level and interacting with lecturers and peers, I aim to become well versed in this field and apply that knowledge once I start work. I am applying to this programme specifically for its rigour. My motivation for postgraduate study is to develop my analytical skills in size and sophistication, not to simply obtain another qualification.

Captivated by its ability to predict the behaviour of interrelated variables, I chose every econometrics module available on my course. In doing so I have gained good experience using Stata and EViews, running regressions such as OLS, IV, Probit, Logit and ARMA models, on data sets of varying size. I am fascinated by time-series analysis and, in addition to ARDL models used in my thesis, have self-taught models commonly used for volatility such as ARCH and GARCH; these will be useful for the Financial Econometrics course.

My eventual career path once I complete my studies is of vital importance and I aspire to work as a quantitative analyst within a multinational corporation in Europe. The approach taken at the University of XXXXX with regards to the thesis is highly appealing as I will be able to engage with problems directly relevant to an organization's operations.

This course provides an opportunity to improve not only my education, but also myself as an individual. Learning in an international setting within a culturally diverse student body will facilitate an exchange of views and ideas beneficial to all parties.

I strive to be the best at what I do and the teaching approach at the University of XXXXX is conducive to the achievement of my goals. If accepted, I will be an active member of the programme and strive to add value through hard work and intellectual prowess.

where "this" refers to ? economic methods or syllabus

From the first a-level economics lesson, I have experienced insatiable curiosity. I have gained an understanding of the theoretical foundations of economics and the numeric methods that support them. The dearth of economic methods covered by the syllabus surprised me during my thesis research. I concluded: Undergraduate Economics is the iceberg's tip!

Studying advanced econometrics and interacting with lecturers and peers, I aim to gain mastery in the field and to apply those insights once I start work. I am applying to this programme for its rigour. My motivation for postgraduate study is developing my analytical thinking skills, not simply padding my qualifications.

Enamored with its predictive power, I chose every econometrics module available on my course. Resultantly, I have gained experience using Stata and EViews, running regressions such as x, y, z, and (verb) ARMA models, on an array of data. I am fascinated by time-series analysis and, in addition to ARDL models used in my thesis, have self-taught models commonly used for volatility such as ARCH and GARCH; these will be useful for the Financial Econometrics course.

Upon completion of studies, I aspire to work as a quantitative analyst with a multinational corporation in Europe. The approach taken at the University of XXXXX related to the thesis is attractive, as it will enable me to engage with problems directly relevant to an organization's operations.

This course provides a chance to advance my education and my individual development. Learning in an international setting, amidst a diverse student body, will facilitate an exchange of views and ideas beneficial to all parties.

I strive to excel and the teaching approach at the University of XXXXX is conducive to this work ethic. If accepted, I will be an active member of the programme and add value through hard work and intellectual discernment.

This is 300 words. A few points:

1. Always try to include the prompt: It helps crystallize the scope to those giving feedback; the added context enables us to give responses that are relevant and reliable.

2. The passive voice requires more words than the active voice.
3. Delete obviously unnecessary words (e.g. "in size and sophistication").
4. Consider what ideas MUST be conveyed. Consider what points are needed to support those ideas. (Consider your audience and how it constrains your diction.) Consider what words are INDISPENABLE to express those points.