hello, guys!
please help me review the following paragraph. Is it appropriate for the opening of personal statement? Your advice is very important to me!
thanks in advance.
Dear Sir/Madam:
I'd like to apply for the Master Program in Computer Science of [intended University].
The moment I write this essay I'm still a senior-year student studying in [current university], one of the most prestigious universities in [country], majoring in Software Engineering.
After studying in software engineering for the past three and a half years, I've acquired solid knowledge and sophisticated understanding in the field of computer science, with which I'm ready to pursue a graduate study and delve into almost every branch of computer science. Since my major in undergraduate study is Software Engineering, I would like to have a higher level of understanding in SE and related fields, such as HCI, automated testing, etc. Meanwhile, I also have keen interests in Computer Multimedia and Data Mining, which I've taken some courses and done some reading and research myself. But that's certainly not the limit, with an innate curiosity for the unknown mystery, I would love to devote myself to solving problems that can fulfill my inquisitiveness.
please help me review the following paragraph. Is it appropriate for the opening of personal statement? Your advice is very important to me!
thanks in advance.
Dear Sir/Madam:
I'd like to apply for the Master Program in Computer Science of [intended University].
The moment I write this essay I'm still a senior-year student studying in [current university], one of the most prestigious universities in [country], majoring in Software Engineering.
After studying in software engineering for the past three and a half years, I've acquired solid knowledge and sophisticated understanding in the field of computer science, with which I'm ready to pursue a graduate study and delve into almost every branch of computer science. Since my major in undergraduate study is Software Engineering, I would like to have a higher level of understanding in SE and related fields, such as HCI, automated testing, etc. Meanwhile, I also have keen interests in Computer Multimedia and Data Mining, which I've taken some courses and done some reading and research myself. But that's certainly not the limit, with an innate curiosity for the unknown mystery, I would love to devote myself to solving problems that can fulfill my inquisitiveness.
