I hear-I forget. I do-I learn : evaluate SOP for graduate admission

Literary Activities were never my thing. So I need help with my first draft of SOP. What to reduce. What to correct etc.. Help is most appreciated

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After graduating from one of the most reputed institutions in India, I had a spectrum of options available to pursue. By carefully evaluating my interests and strengths, I have decided to opt to go for graduate study in the field of "Embedded Systems" and "Robotics".

My career objective is to pursue research in an innovative and exciting area at the cutting edge of technology and to use the results of research to improve and optimize existing as well as design and develop new ones. VLSI, Embedded Systems and Robotics are the state-or-art research areas which are always growing and ever expanding. In the Age of Information, VLSI and Embedded engineering have got a massive part in developing efficient electronic systems. Associating and pursuing research in this area would demand enterprise and creativity and such a career would prove to be personally and professionally fulfilling, as it fits in perfectly with my career objective.

Since my boyhood days I was allured by object called a computer. Being pathologically curious, I tried to know as much as possible about it and down the line I got more and more interested in making of it. The scientific and technological advancements in the field of Electronics, aiding human progress fascinated me a lot. This affected my interests profoundly and decided that one day I would pursue a career in electronics.

For this dream to fulfil I started working hard from my school days.I finished my secondary and Higher secondary education under complete scholarships with 92.5% and 95.6% respectively. I was ranked among the top 0.2% in Engineering Entrance Exams and my passion made me choose Electrical and Electronics Engineering as my major field as I secured admission to Birla Institute of Technological Sciences-Pilani(BITS-Pilani), which is among the top 10 universities in India and is well known for its wide network of industrial link all over india ,collaboration and adaptation of most challenging curriculum of Massachusetts Institute of Technology(MIT),USA.My university years started with basic preparation courses. In the mean time I joined the university's IEEE group and tried to increase my knowledge about the fundamentals through books and magazines like "IEEE Spectrum", "Science and Technology" and more.

I believe that practical knowledge helps one to learn more and trainings at different institutions provided me an opportunity for hands-on learning. During my 2 month summer vocational training at Steel Authority of India's Steel Plant at Bhilai, I understood the working of an industry and the role of electronics in automation and electrical systems in power management.

During the winter break of second year, I attended a vocational training at Naval Science and Technology Laboratory under Defence Research and Developmental Organization for 15 days. My initial task was to research and present an observatory report on India's first homing torpedoes. It was during this period , my interest towards embedded systems got piqued. After finishing the job satisfactorily, I was given an additional task. With the help of a couple of scientists in training, a projectile launcher using solenoids was designed. This project helped me to familiarize myself with the working of MOSFETS and usage of microcontrollers.

I was involved in various course related projects also. In accordance with the course "Microprocessors and Interfacing" , a project to design an "automated drink dispensing machine using an 8086 chip" was done. This involved using the basics of assembly language programming, digital designing and microprocessor architecture that were taught in the course.

A Computer Aided Design and Simulation of the semiconductor layout of a "12 bit parallel Adder-Subtractor Circuit" was implemented for the course of Analog and DIgital VLSI Design course. Softwares like CADENCE and PSpice were used.

For the Course of Digital SIgnal Processing , various Adaptive Noise Filtering Algorithms were implemented on a Digital Signal Processing Processor. Stochastic descent algorithms like Least Mean Square and NLMS and deterministic algorithm- Recursive Mean Square were implemented. For the same course, a side project to derive Mel Frequency Cepstral Coefficients for a given speech signal was done. These coefficients along with K-Means Algorithm was used to implement a speaker recognition module on the DSP kit. During these projects I learnt MATLAB and Simulink to an extent of making real-time models and constructing various digital filters.

I was briefly involved in a startup called Black Prop Tree which provides UAVs for aerial and surveillance & reconnaissance services for large industrial establishments. My tasks consisted of assembly and hardware of making Arduino based Quadcopters.

I also attended workshop at Indian Institute of Technology- Mumbai relating to Embedded Systems , where I learned about Microcontrollers , their communication protocols, interfacing and programming in Embedded C. This has helped me to develop a "RFID based Self-Navigating Robot" during the summer of third year. This was implemented on a grid of high frequency RFID(Radio Frequency Identification Devices) tags. The robot was a basic 2-wheel differential car run by an ATMEGA64 microcontroller which also ran the navigation part.

During my 6 month internship at Hindalco's Birla Copper, I worked in the automation department. My final project was "Process Control in Chemical Industries". This describes the role of Distributed Control Systems in Process Industries. During this project I learnt PLC and DCS coding in Logic Ladders, Structured Lists and Assembly Language.

Apart from all these personal projects in electronics, I am also an intermediate level coder. I familiarized myself with basics of Data Structures and Algorithms. I can code in C language and am proficient in Python to a level of writing small hacks for redundant actions in everyday life. I also taught myself web development using Django and Apache on which I am planning to freelance temporarily for a start up soon.

In a relatively graded curriculum at an above-average university, I was but a mere almost average student. This taught me that no matter how hard one tries there are better people. But that shouldn't cause disappointment. Instead it must be taken as a challenge. So I worked hard with a hands-on and practical approach, which I thought could give me an edge over others around me.

Now, I wish to construct on my foundation by pursuing higher studies and advanced research in subjects like control systems, fuzzy logic and probably machine learning which are related to my field of interest. I envisage a career of pioneering research work and continuous contribution to my field and this requires greater knowledge base which can be gained only through good graduate study.So it is imperative that I do my graduate study in a stimulating and challenging academic environment such as that at your school. The excellent academic faculty and the splendid facilities available at your university would contribute greatly in my quest for excellent research. I wish to be considered for admission with fully financial assistance to the M.S. program in Embedded Systems and Robotics; at your university and look forward to being part of your research community.

Would you be able to provide the prompt (if any)?

- This is not a very strong introduction for your statement of purpose. Your introduction should show an early build up of your interest in computers leading up to your college degree, culminating in an interest to attend graduate school. The content of this sentence should be the last part of your introductory statement

Since my boyhood days I was allured by object called a computer. Being pathologically curious, I tried to know as much as possible about it and down the line I got more and more interested in making of it. The scientific and technological advancements in the field of Electronics, aiding human progress fascinated me a lot. This affected my interests profoundly and decided that one day I would pursue a career in electronics.

- I developed an interest in computers early in my childhood... I tried tolearn ... .. and continued to delve deeper into the history of computers and what the world of computer technology had to offer... Electronics aidingin human progress...profoundly, which is why I decided that I would...

- This should become your introductory paragraph instead since it shows the progress of your interest in computers and electronics.


- I knew that I would have to work hard academically in order to gain acceptance into Birla Institute of Technological Science - Pilani.[/quote]
-... provided me with an opportunity... I came to understand the industry and the role...
- ... Laboratory underthe Defence... It was during this period that my interest
- These paragraphs should be merged into one because it speaks of your additional, non academic training experience. However, this should later in the statement. After you have discussed your academically involved training.

- Your essay has become too long because you included all of your training experience in great detail. You should choose only 2 or 3 of the most important ones and present them in the paper. Talking too much about all of your experience makes for tiresome reading. Remember, the Admissions Officer has more than a hundred SOPs to read in a day.


- This should be above your previous paragraph about non academic related training. This portion directly discusses what you learned as a student should be highlighted.


- Can you make this paragraph tighter? Use only the best experience from those you presented in order to cut down on your essay content. The rest of these information should be seen in great detail in your C.V. instead. The SOP is just an overview of the C.V.


- ... in the stimulating and challenging academic environment of your school.


Right now it seems that your essay is suffering from too much information. You should whittle it down to 500 words maximum. Highlighting only your best assets, accomplishments, and characteristics as a student. I hope that you can revise the essay to make it more concise and therefore, interesting to read :-)