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'helping more English learners in China' - paragraph in my admission


Xiaowang 5 / 8  
Nov 13, 2011   #1
This is the last two paragraphs in my essay. Could anyone help me revise it to be more correct and appropriate?

My college years reshape my desire from helping people around me to helping more English learners in China. More than once have I heard English teachers attributed the English teaching situation in China to the test-oriented educational system. Different from them, my major concern is just our teachers' capabilities to change that system into a better one. In fact, a large part of the upcoming innovations in ESL teaching in China relies on our teachers' capabilities to challenge out-dated solutions to problems that always exist. Therefore, I intend to dedicate myself to improving the ESL teaching body in China's public schools.

Thank you!!
Rajiv 55 / 400  
Nov 14, 2011   #2
My college years reshap[ed] my desire from helping people around me to helping more [people learn] English learners in China. More than once have I heard English teachers attributed the English teaching situation in China to the test-oriented educational system. Different from them, my major concern is just our teachers' capabilities to change that system into a better one. In fact, a large part of the upcoming innovations in ESL teaching in China relies on our teachers' capabilities to challenge out-dated solutions to [the existing] problems. that always exist. Therefore, I intend to dedicate myself to improving the ESL teaching body in China's public schools.


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