Jamaican in Japan (First Draft)

Hey

I just finished my first draft for my postrgrad application and I was wondering if someone can look at it and give me feedback.

Its pretty long. I'm really sorry. The coloured sections are those I don't like =(

There are the questions I'm required to answer in the statement:

Please describe an intercultural interaction you have had
and how it has been important and significant in your life.
How can you use that experience to contribute to SIT's
learning environment?
What effect have intercultural experiences had on your
education and career choices?
What is the relationship between your personal/career
goals and the mission and goals of SIT? How can SIT
help you to further define your goals?

As I approached the one year mark as a participant of (on) the Japan Exchange Teaching (JET) Programme, I was standing in front of Narita International Airport, waiting to welcome the 2009-2010 JET participants. My partner at the "Welcome Station" was rather interested in the fact that I am Jamaican. He was also interested in finding out which Bob Marley song is my favourite. This was a question I could answer without hesitating. Not because I have been asked numerous times since I have lived here, not because the speech of Ethiopian Emperor Haile Selassie has been converted into a song by the King of Reggae and had become one of my favourite songs within the genre, but because War and the message it embodies is representative of the change I want to be a part of introducing to countries frayed by conflict. A postgraduate degree in Peace and Conflict Transformation would allow me to fuse the elements of philosophy and action; calling into reality Sochiro Honda's quotation that "action without philosophy is a lethal weapon, philosophy without action is worthless." A degree in this field provides a philosophical and practical basis on which I can build. Helping conflicting peoples make the transformation into cohesively functioning cultures, putting an end to the strife and wars I have seen documented in some many textbooks as a History major. (But) Long before I spent so many hours pouring over History books, I slid down hills on banana leaves and ran the 100 metres barefoot on the hot asphalt; finding my unfocused childhood mind being intrigued by the political instability on the the Haitian shores. I wanted to solve the problems which led to first coup against President Jean Bertrand Aristide, hoping to help a country which had been fighting its own development since 1804.

Something drew me to Haiti, it was more than the images of a country struggling to heal its shattered framework for development. When President Aristide sought temporary refuge in Jamaica, it painted the island as a safe haven for the Haitian refugees who are now citizens. My love for Haiti fueled my need to study the wars throughout history, examining their causes and their role in fashioning new countries, dividing and uniting ethnic groups, wiping out races. Even though I had fallen in love with a country I had never visited I clung to its culture, hoping to one day travel to the island and experience it all first hand. The first time I met a Haitian I was 12 years old; I had just passed my Common Entrance Examinations and was officially a high school student, I, was in fact, en route to school to collect my welcome package. This brief encounter of congratulatory exchanges helped me make friends for life. For the first two years of high school I spent Thursday afternoons with my Haitian friends. They told me stories of life on the streets of Port-au Prince, being forced into exile for being supporters of Former President Aristide's political ideology and of the family and friends that had been left behind or failed to make the voyage across the Caribbean Sea. These stories strengthened my resolve to work with those whose lives has been shattered by conflict and forced to find solace in foreign settings, ejected from their homeland and without a sense of belonging. Inspired to study History, I was introduced to a world where countries struggled to coexist peacefully, striving to find a balance of power without offering their counterparts the upper hand, playing the essential zero-sum game. While at the University of West Indies I minored in International Relations, which complemented my major. My classes in International Law, International and Regional Organizations and Theories and Approaches to International Relations, helped prepare me for a world where different cultures meet on a common ground, an interest in peace and global development.

A year and a half ago I exchanged my island home for another, [font#FF0000]Japan. Japan, a country which typically beckons alluringly to lovers of anime, Eastern culture, healthy living and sushi- well, surely sushi is a stretch- offered me more than your Lost in Translation-esque take on life as an exchange teacher. By moving to Japan, I was given a chance to live in a post conflict setting, albeit 64 years after the fact. As an exchange teacher, I have been able to observe the Japanese way of non confrontational problem solving, often considered innately submissive but which in my experience seems to be an appreciation for peace. While discussing the recent resurgence of nuclear power with my adult students, they informed me of the Japanese three point policy on nuclear weapons (non possession, non importation and non production); emphasising that as the only country to be attacked by an atomic bomb during a period of war, Japan wants to set an example for the non proliferation of weapons, reaffirming their belief that humans are capable of good deeds. Appalled by any suggestions of retaliation and a need for revenge, they embraced the relationship with the United States, their former foe now ally, citing a need for cooperation among states and distaste for conflict.

This world view is shared by my teenaged students as well. Through Global Studies classes, my students take cultural journeys to the Middle East, Africa and even to neighbouring Asian and South East Asian countries, fostering understanding of different cultures, races and lifestyles, learning about child soldiers in Sierra Leone and the displaced of Darfur, children their age, children deprived of a childhood. I am continuing a tradition that I had been a part of: teaching global citizens, fostering ambitions, asking my students to open their minds to the world around them, helping them understand the Rastafarian motif of words, sounds and their underlying power; many wars have been won and avoided through negotiations and with kind words.

Being a product of international exchange teachers who fueled my desire to read, my need to explore the world and see what existed beyond the blue waters of the Caribbean, I am able to understand the anxiiety my students feel when sharing their culture with a foreigner, by participating in activities such as the "A Very JETNET Christmas" and "The International Arts Festival," I was able to interact with our participants outside of the confines of a classroom. Living in Japan has taught me to appreciate more than the superficial nature of a culture, but that which makes each culture unique, learning that cultural differences should not hinder communication but be used to fosters free exchange of opinions. The differences between Western principles and Eastern traditions are often juxtaposed in an effort to underscore cultural differences; but having lived in Japan, I have come to realize that humans regardless of creed, race or nationality have an inclination towards a peaceful coexistence.

Like my students, I anticipated the arrival of overseas teachers each year. For three weeks I lived with foreigners who brought more than treats for good students, but a presence which opened the doors to a world beyond rote memorization, a world where different countries, cultures and people coexisted. They regaled me with tales from the outside world, feeding my big dreams and cocooning my childhood ambitions. Like them, I would one day leave my home country hoping to promote grassroots internationalization , not only to my students and coworkers, but also to the people in my community and my counterparts on the programme who had stepped outside of their traditional comfort zone and opted to live and work in a foreign country.

What initially started out as an interest in a neighbouring Caribbean country has grown into a career choice, one which will ideally be for an intergovernmental or nongovernmental association which is proactively involved in conflict resolution. By participating in XXXX's Masters of Arts programme and capstone course, I will be able to actively help countries struggling to recover from periods of conflict, working with experts in the field who actively strive to find solutions to disputes and help countries recover. A masters degree would help me learn the theories which are applicable to the world of peace and conflict analysis while giving me the opportunity to apply these theories practically.

Thanks much for your time.

You seem to be on the right track with this. A couple of minor things:


I like the way you lead in to your main academic interest, but why in the name of whatever deity you believe in would you want to introduce war into countries already frayed by conflict? I can only conclude that either A) you are a horrible person, or B) "War" is the title of a Bob Marley song and you just forgot to include those all important quotation marks that would make that clear to the reader.



But if international relations is a zero-sum game, then such a world is impossible. I see the contrast you want to make, but you need to rephrase it so that you are actually saying what you mean.

The content of this essay is very strong, but I'd like to see you tighten up the narrative, which rambles in its relaxed phrasing at times, and use more concise sentences in general.

Thanks Sean. I fixed the all important quotations. I'm promise I'm not a bad person =) I wanna help ppl stop fighting not goad em on =)

Thanks Simone. Off to tighten up those sentences =)

Revised

As I approached the one year mark as a participant of the Japan Exchange and Teaching (JET) Programme, I was standing in front of Narita International Airport, waiting to welcome the 2009-2010 JET participants. My partner at the "Welcome Station" was rather interested in the fact that I am Jamaican. He was also interested in finding out which Bob Marley song is my favourite. This was a question I could answer without hesitating. Not because I have been asked numerous times since I have lived here, not because the speech of Ethiopian Emperor Haile Selassie has been converted into a song by the "King of Reggae" and has become one of my favourite songs within the genre, but because "War" and the message it embodies is representative of the change I want to be a part of introducing to countries frayed by conflict. "War" calls on us to abandon our prejudices and create a unified world regardless of superficial differences. The field of Peace and Conflict Transformation appeals to me as it offers a chance to help rebuild communities which strive to move beyond their differences??? and seek solutions to the factors which led to initial conflict. A masters degree in Conflict Transformation provides a philosophical and practical basis on which to build; helping conflicting peoples make the transformation into cohesively functioning cultures, putting an end to the strife and wars I have seen documented in so many textbooks as a History major.

But long before I spent many hours pouring over History books, I passed my days as any Caribbean child would; sliding down hills on banana leaves and running the 100 metres barefoot on the hot asphalt. The 1991 coup d'etat in Haiti brought me out of my reverie. My fickle childhood mind was intrigued by the political instability on the Haitian shores. I wanted to solve the problems which led to the ousting of President Jean Bertrand Aristide, hoping to help a country which had been fighting its own development since 1804. Something drew me to Haiti, images of refugees flooded the television screens, images of a country struggling to heal its shattered framework for development. When President Aristide sought temporary refuge in Jamaica, it painted the island as a safe haven for the Haitian refugees who are now citizens. My love for Haiti fueled my need to study the wars throughout history, examining their causes and their role in fashioning new countries, dividing and uniting ethnic groups, wiping out races. Even though I had fallen in love with a country I had never visited I clung to its culture, hoping to one day travel to the island and experience it all first hand.

I waited seven years to meet my first Haitian. Having just passed my Common Entrance Examinations and officially a high school student, I, was in fact, en route to collect my welcome package. This brief encounter of congratulatory exchanges helped me make friends for life. For the first two years of high school Haitian griots were part of my Thursday afternoons. I heard stories of life on the streets of Port-au Prince, supporters of Former President Aristide forced into exile, separated from family and friends, those who had been left behind or failed to make the voyage across the Caribbean Sea. I was in their world, an island torn apart by political ideology and social stratification. These stories strengthened my resolve to work with those whose lives has been shattered by conflict and forced to find solace in foreign settings, ejected from their homeland and without a sense of belonging. Inspired to study History, I was introduced to a world where countries struggled to coexist peacefully, striving to gain power without offering their counterparts the upper hand. My minor in International Relations complimented my History classes. Conflicts were no longer dates in my head but events influencing global politics, changing regional and international alliances, forging common bonds. Undergraduate classes in Theories of International Relations, International Law International and Regional Organizations (hypothetically) helped prepare me for a world where different cultures meet on a common ground, an interest in peace and global development.

"This looks like home." Those were the first words I said on Japanese soil having exchanged my island home for another, Japan. Japan, a country which typically beckons alluringly to lovers of anime, Eastern culture, healthy living and sushi- well, surely sushi is a stretch- offered me more than your Lost in Translation-esque take on life as an exchange teacher. (My placement in Nara ken afforded the possibility) Placed in Nara, I was given the opportunity to interact with people on a personal? basis. As part of the JETNET (JET Network) an organization run on zero budget, I participated in events that brought residents of Nara and JETs together. "The International Arts Festival," was one such cases (examples). Responsible for the creation and staffing of a Jamaican booth, this event quickly became my favourite. For three hours I acted as an ambassador for my country. Fielding questions about the "Japanese way" of doing activities that were considered mundane by Jamaicans, laughing as my partner in the booth purported to run the 100 metres with an elderly man, teaching women to lock their hair, and making cell phone charms for children. Here, I was able to interact with our participants outside of the confines of a classroom. For once it was not about how well you could speak English (or Japanese) but how, despite linguistic limitations, we achieved mutual cultural understanding. This event was just one of the many ways in which I was allowed to interact with persons interested in cultural exchange. My time as a JET is remeniscent of the student teachers who, in my childhood, would visit Jamaica for a few weeks each year. As a child, I anticipated the arrival of overseas teachers each year. Living with foreigners who brought more than treats for good students, but a presence which opened the doors to a world beyond rote memorization, a world where different countries, cultures and people coexisted. They regaled me with tales from the outside world, feeding my big dreams and cocooning my childhood ambitions. Like them, I would one day leave my home country hoping to promote grassroots internationalization, not only to my students and coworkers, but also to the people in my community and my counterparts on the programme who had stepped outside of their traditional comfort zone and opted to live and work in a foreign country.

(Life) in Japan have taught me to appreciate more than the superficial nature of a culture, but that which makes it unique; learning that each culture has its own sociological pattern which sets its apart from others. This will be useful at SIT and within the field of Conflict Transformation where culture dictates concepts of justice and problem solving and must be viewed within their own element.

SITs' international environment would allow me to draw on my experiences as an international exchange teacher, having acquired a deeper appreciation for different personalities and cultural idiosyncrasies. Here I can learn from students whose countries have been torn apart by wars, students who have worked in post conflict settings and students who want to help countries make the transition from feuding factions to productive nations. Such a forum would allow me to contribute not only my opinions as a child of the Caribbean, or an exchange teacher, but prepare me for a world where humans seek peaceful solutions to conflict and aim to reconstruct their lives.

What initially started out as an interest in a neighbouring country has grown into a career choice; one which will, ideally be for an organization proactively involved in conflict resolution. An underrepresented field within the Caribbean, I plan to return to the region after my studies. A postgraduate degree in Peace and Conflict Transformation would allow me to fuse the elements of philosophy and action; drawing on Sochiro Honda's quotation that "action without philosophy is a lethal weapon, philosophy without action is worthless." If I am afforded the opportunity of (to) participating in SITs' Masters of Arts programme and capstone course, I will be able to actively help countries struggling to recover from periods of conflict, working with experts who constantly strive to find solutions to disputes and help countries recover, building on the theoretical knowledge I acquired as an undergraduate, channeling my focus into an area which interests me.

There still quite a number of sentences I am not sure about, and quite a few that I would love to keep. Please help.
Massive thanks.