What else should we know about your financial condition in order to consider you for the scholarship

money in my life

Money has never been a thing my family has taken for granted. My father works as a driver in a security firm where he earns something very low which is not able to cater for a three square meal for me and my siblings. My mother sells vegetables which earns her something but she doesn't provide for our upkeep since she is no more living with us because of their separation. Living in this kind of financial situation is very terrible and heartbreaking. Life has not been easy for me since childhood. I never had extravagant birthday parties, birthday or Christmas presents came once in a blue moon. My family never went on cruises during festive seasons. All of this did not matter to me though. But now with my younger siblings who are looking up to me as their senior sibling, I am more determined than ever to get a good education and become successful so I can help them achieve their set goals and also give them a better life. I currently have good grades but finances to continue my education to a higher level is a headache now. I will be glad if I'm offered this scholarship.

Nathaniel, this is a run of the mill or typical financial story sent to scholarship committees. There is nothing that makes this essay stand out in the eyes of the reviewer. All you are saying is basically that you are poor and can't afford to go to college so you want the scholarship to do so. There is a lack of personal conviction in wanting to go to college in this essay. If you really want to go to college, then you have to prove to the scholarship committee that you have been set on doing that since early on. That means, highlighting how you have been financially preparing to attend college on your own since you know your father and mother cannot be of help. You need to show a go-getter attitude by say, indicating that you have been financially responsible for yourself for a number of years and you have set aside some money to support your college needs in terms of non-tuition related expenses but you need help on the tuition side. Try to represent yourself as someone whose financial condition has pushed you to become fiscally responsible for your studies, more so because you want to set a good example for your younger siblings. Try to write a new essay that better sets you up as a model potential scholar.