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Mechanical Engineer Grad Admission Essay Masters of Engineering

lilmanmgf 1 / 1  
Dec 28, 2009   #1
I need some feed back on my essay. Also I'm not sure how to cover some of the criteria. The school asks that I include current employment/research, but I will not be starting research until next semester and it is not final. I have not done under grad research in the past either. Also my current employment is in no way related to what I want to pursue in grad school, so I'm not sure how to incorporate it. Finally it asks to include what you would like to research in grad school, but the M.E. degree is only course work no thesis.

Since High School I have desired to pursue a career in mechanical engineering. I believe that studying at xxxx for my graduate degree is the best way for me to specialize in computational modeling and become a successful engineer.

I discovered my affinity for mechanical engineering when I took an introductory mechanical engineering design course in ninth grade. The most influential project that I completed in this class was the design of a vehicle to prevent an egg from breaking in the event of a collision. The building materials allotted me were rivets and metal strips. Although it was a rudimentary design, due to my then limited knowledge of physics, I was intrigued by the stresses and deformations suffered by the metal on impact. This experience drove me to pursue a Bachelor's Degree in mechanical engineering at xxxx.

As an undergrad the focus of my studies was on the design and analysis of components and systems. In my initial core engineering classes I learned to analyze the stresses and strains based on boundary conditions and applied mechanical or thermal loads. Additionally I developed a background in designing components from a failure perspective, incorporating factors of safety and other influencing factors. While taking these courses the question always nagging at the back of my mind was how applicable the equations used were to real world scenarios. While taking an introduction to finite element analysis (FEA) class I found the real world connection I had been yearning for, and knew I wanted to pursue computational modeling for my graduate study. This class has provided me with a background in the mathematics behind FEA. It introduced using quadrilateral and constant strain triangle elements, as well as using isoparametric mapping to account for complex geometry, and reduce computational load. Additionally during the class a partner and I completed a project in which we analyzed the stresses and strains in an iPhone's screen upon impact. I was able to successfully demonstrate convergence in the model by varying the element size of the mesh and comparing it to the total strain in the screen. While working on this project I became proficient with Abaqus 6.9, a program which is used by xxxx graduate students.

My ultimate goal is to design vehicles in the private sector. In industry finite element analysis is being used opposed to full scale models. Planes such as the Airbus A380 and Boeing 777 were designed using 3D modeling and finite element analysis. I want to be a part of this industry, and I believe attaining a graduate degree in mechanical engineering is the best way to attain this. Having spoken with Professor xxx, and several computational modeling graduate students I feel that xxx's program is the best fit for myself.

I would really appreciate any feedback. Thanks!

EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Dec 29, 2009   #2
I will not be starting research until next semester and it is not final. I have not done under grad research in the past either. Also my current employment is in no way related to what I want to pursue in grad school

Your research includes everything you have studied for fun, out of passion. You probably have researched many subjects related to your chosen field. If you do not own a few books about this field, maybe it is not the right field! If you do own some books about it, these books represent your areas of research. I understand that the more relevant research would be rigorous academic research, but... if you have not yet done that, refer to your personal research.

As for the irrelevance of your employment... if you are clever, you can brilliantly talk about your irrelevant current employment in a way that reflects the perspective of someone who was born to do what you intend to do in grad school.

Don't capitalize high school.
that first paragraph barely says anything at all. Express an opinion, an ideal... express a concern. Give the essay a theme by doing something DISTINCT with the first paragraph.

After the first paragraph, the essay gets very good! You are quite impressive. I think you should rewrite the first para based on a theme you draw from the main ideas of the body paragraphs. What is the moral of the whole story?
OP lilmanmgf 1 / 1  
Dec 29, 2009   #3
I have one textbook on it from the class I took, but I don't really consider that research. I guess what I am trying to show in my essay is that I know I want to get my ME degree in FEA so I can enter the workforce as an engineer. Really to do what I want I need the degree, so I have a clear goal and purpose.

As for employment it is really just doing data entry in excel. I could employment applying to someone who worked as an engineer for a year or more, but my part time job really does nothing for me other than earn a pay check.

I added the high school anecdote to show what really got me started into engineering. I wasn't sure what else I could include in the first paragraph without getting repetitive. Thanks for the feedback.
menon_ranjit 1 / 15  
Dec 31, 2009   #4
yours is a well written essay. Its good that you've included as manmy technical details about FEM too. I too had a bit of experience in FEM with Ansys in simulating spot welding applications, and your work seems very interesting. good luck applying.

maybe you can include something about coupled field analysis too, just a thought.. I found it was quite a challenging field.

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