It's still fairly rough...just hammered it out the other night...please be brutal!
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OK i've gone through a re-write; Please feel free to leave comments on either essay!! THANKS!
My mother screamed at me to call the police, or to do something to make my sister stop. My sister had knocked my mother to the ground and was pulling out her hair. I remember being huddled in the corner, crying, not knowing what to do or where to run. My sister was very violent in her early teen years, and when that wrath was not focused my way, it was focused towards my mother. Despite her bad behaviour, I was always truly jealous of my sister. Confidence was a skill she mastered beautifully, while I spent many days in that corner, a dark recess between two desks along adjacent walls. However, it was there in that corner that my interest in law began. I started to take the role of mediator between my mother and sister, trying to negotiate concessions from either side. However, as the smallest and weakest member of the family, my efforts were almost always in vain. As a lawyer, I often told myself, I could help others even though I had failed to help my family and myself.
My sister and I grew up in Saanichton, British Columbia, a small farm-land suburb of Victoria, just far enough away from any major routes to be forgotten by the masses. In school, I revisited my earlier thoughts of law with a Grade 12 law course. I excelled in my studies, achieving the top mark in the class, and winning the semester-long legal competition that our school held every year. Unfortunately, our high school was sort of a joke in the community, probably because most of the teenagers who enrol there eventually turn to drugs and drop out before graduating, or end up pregnant, or both. Very few of my friends went on to university, and of those that did, most have since failed out. I was thus one of a kind, graduating with numerous awards and several promising scholarship opportunities. I have always known I could do more than anyone else thought possible.
I chose the University of Western Ontario by sheer distance from my former life. I was always trying to get out of that small town and see the world. When I was 13, I recorded a video message for a millennium time capsule at a New Years Eve party. I can still remember my answer to the question of "Where will you be in ten years?" was "As far away from here as possible." To date, I have seen 25 countries, and as a result have developed a great social, cultural, and global awareness. These trips also taught me curiosity and determination, with which I confront both obstacles and opportunities alike.
Despite their efforts, these trips still could not teach me how to be truly confident in myself. My sister saw travelling as an opportunity to meet new people and feel at ease in any situation. I saw it as a reminder of how small I really am in this world. However, this view began to change when I was fifteen, and got my first job at McDonalds Restaurant. I began as a meek little cashier who could barely speak loud enough to be heard by my co-workers. They used to tell me to stand at my till and yell at others when I needed something, or else help would not be given. Well, this did wonders for me. I gained the confidence I needed to confront any problems life could throw my way. I worked at McDonalds for five years, eventually becoming a leader to many. I helped them become confident in themselves like others had helped me. My background really shaped who I became as a person. My father constantly set a good example of a hard worker. He had come from an impoverished family and worked to put himself through school to become very successful in life. This meant that everything I could have ever wanted was paid for. I still believe that the desire to make it on my own is what drove me to succeed. My father once told me that if I were to quit working he would continue to pay me as if I had never stopped. However, that was not the life I wanted. I promptly turned him down and continued on the path that I was creating for myself. If I want something, I go for it and give it all I have. I thrive because I set high goals for myself and constantly surpass them.
It was the confidence that I learned at McDonalds that gave me the ability to go to school in Ontario by myself, and once there, to reach out to new people and get involved in the school and the community. McDonalds also gave me the confidence to return home to confront my former life and make peace with my family. I was finally able to confront a very close friend about his drug problem and work with him to get him the help he needed.
I have carried this confidence into my everyday life and constantly look back upon my days as that child in the corner, or that shy cashier with a smile. It is this growth that I have achieved in my life, coupled with my determination to succeed, that I feel would make an excellent addition to your program.
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OK i've gone through a re-write; Please feel free to leave comments on either essay!! THANKS!
My mother screamed at me to call the police, or to do something to make my sister stop. My sister had knocked my mother to the ground and was pulling out her hair. I remember being huddled in the corner, crying, not knowing what to do or where to run. My sister was very violent in her early teen years, and when that wrath was not focused my way, it was focused towards my mother. Despite her bad behaviour, I was always truly jealous of my sister. Confidence was a skill she mastered beautifully, while I spent many days in that corner, a dark recess between two desks along adjacent walls. However, it was there in that corner that my interest in law began. I started to take the role of mediator between my mother and sister, trying to negotiate concessions from either side. However, as the smallest and weakest member of the family, my efforts were almost always in vain. As a lawyer, I often told myself, I could help others even though I had failed to help my family and myself.
My sister and I grew up in Saanichton, British Columbia, a small farm-land suburb of Victoria, just far enough away from any major routes to be forgotten by the masses. In school, I revisited my earlier thoughts of law with a Grade 12 law course. I excelled in my studies, achieving the top mark in the class, and winning the semester-long legal competition that our school held every year. Unfortunately, our high school was sort of a joke in the community, probably because most of the teenagers who enrol there eventually turn to drugs and drop out before graduating, or end up pregnant, or both. Very few of my friends went on to university, and of those that did, most have since failed out. I was thus one of a kind, graduating with numerous awards and several promising scholarship opportunities. I have always known I could do more than anyone else thought possible.
I chose the University of Western Ontario by sheer distance from my former life. I was always trying to get out of that small town and see the world. When I was 13, I recorded a video message for a millennium time capsule at a New Years Eve party. I can still remember my answer to the question of "Where will you be in ten years?" was "As far away from here as possible." To date, I have seen 25 countries, and as a result have developed a great social, cultural, and global awareness. These trips also taught me curiosity and determination, with which I confront both obstacles and opportunities alike.
Despite their efforts, these trips still could not teach me how to be truly confident in myself. My sister saw travelling as an opportunity to meet new people and feel at ease in any situation. I saw it as a reminder of how small I really am in this world. However, this view began to change when I was fifteen, and got my first job at McDonalds Restaurant. I began as a meek little cashier who could barely speak loud enough to be heard by my co-workers. They used to tell me to stand at my till and yell at others when I needed something, or else help would not be given. Well, this did wonders for me. I gained the confidence I needed to confront any problems life could throw my way. I worked at McDonalds for five years, eventually becoming a leader to many. I helped them become confident in themselves like others had helped me. My background really shaped who I became as a person. My father constantly set a good example of a hard worker. He had come from an impoverished family and worked to put himself through school to become very successful in life. This meant that everything I could have ever wanted was paid for. I still believe that the desire to make it on my own is what drove me to succeed. My father once told me that if I were to quit working he would continue to pay me as if I had never stopped. However, that was not the life I wanted. I promptly turned him down and continued on the path that I was creating for myself. If I want something, I go for it and give it all I have. I thrive because I set high goals for myself and constantly surpass them.
It was the confidence that I learned at McDonalds that gave me the ability to go to school in Ontario by myself, and once there, to reach out to new people and get involved in the school and the community. McDonalds also gave me the confidence to return home to confront my former life and make peace with my family. I was finally able to confront a very close friend about his drug problem and work with him to get him the help he needed.
I have carried this confidence into my everyday life and constantly look back upon my days as that child in the corner, or that shy cashier with a smile. It is this growth that I have achieved in my life, coupled with my determination to succeed, that I feel would make an excellent addition to your program.