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Next to impossible was my life up until four years ago! ; Critical analysis



claytodd21 1 / 1  
Nov 13, 2012   #1
Hello Everyone, I have to write a critical analysis essay of the most difficult decision I've made in the last five years.

Here are the criteria from the University
CRITICAL ANALYSIS ESSAY (500-750 WORDS)
Critically analyze the most difficult professional decision you have made in the last five years.
This essay should be about a decision other than entering Regis. Define and discuss:
- The problem
- The alternatives for resolving the issue(s)
- The decision-making process
- The plan of action
The implications of the decision

Washing cars in the sweltering summer heat or in the freezing cold winter in a three-piece suit, surrounded by overly demanding customers, a high-pressure sales environment and promotional criteria that were next to impossible was my life up until four years ago. Everyday I fought a battle between the life I had and the life I wanted. I wanted to have a career. A workplace I looked forward to going to, making a difference. Instead, I begrudgingly went in every day, punched the clock, and waited until the clock struck six so I could go home, only to have to repeat the same tedious process the next day. I wasn't living or making a difference. I merely existed. I soon reached the point where I could no longer comprise between the life I had and the life I wanted.

My choices were clear, I could either continue to work for a company selling insurance, gas, GPS, qualify customers to perfection, up selling into bigger vehicles, getting yelled at by accounts, customers and upper management; or I could quit and pursue my dream of becoming a teacher. I attempted to move into other areas of the company, but I was often not promotable, due to volatile customer services scores or sales that were not above the corporate average. I weighed the positive and negative aspects of both decisions very carefully. I knew that once I made a decision, I could not waiver.

Although the choices were clear the timing was not. In mid 2008 the worst economic crisis that I had seen in my lifetime hit, the raising unemployment rate coupled with a shrinking paycheck exacerbated my decision. As the branch manager I was paid a commission on the profit of my offices, so when profits quickly eroded, so did my commission check. I went from making a decent living to barley scraping by. For six months I saw little improvement in the economy or my paycheck, I knew a decision of this magnitude couldn't be made lightly. I made many lists of the positive and negatives, talked with friends and family and thought about it every waking moment for weeks.

Finally, I made the decision to quit and return to school to obtain my masters degree in education with a teaching certificate. While I was writing the letter to inform my supervisor that I would be leaving XX, I was filled with a feeling that I had not felt in a long time: pure joy. Saying the words, "I quit," was the best decision I've ever made.

While I was searching for a new job, I came across a posting to teach English as a second language in South Korea. At first I dismissed it as a crazy idea, but for some reason I kept coming back to it. I did some research and ultimately accepted a position teaching elementary aged children. I arrived in Korea in June 2009; at that time I had never traveled to any Asian country, and had never been away from home for more than a couple weeks at a time. On the drive to my new apartment and employer I thought, "What did I get myself into?" I didn't speak a word of Korean; I was half way around the world and I had never taught before. The first year was difficult, but I soon adapted. Here I am almost four years later, still teaching English and loving every minute of it.

Looking back, I am reminded that I was not living the life I wanted. I merely existed as a cog in the corporate machine. For the first time in my adult life I can say I am happy with where my life is heading, and the lessons I've learned along the way. I look forward to obtaining my Masters in Education with a Colorado teaching certificate from XX University. I am confident with what I have learned teaching ESL students, as well as my drive to succeed, I will make an excellent candidate. (END)

Is this an academic paper, what can I improve? Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated

dumi 1 / 6793  
Nov 19, 2012   #2
Washing cars in the sweltering summer heat or in the freezing cold winter in a three-piece suit, surrounded by overly demanding customers, a high-pressure sales environment and promotional criteria that were next to impossible was my life up until four years ago.

No doubt, you have excellent writing skills. However, your opening sentence is a bit too long and it makes the reader tired of remembering stuff.... Just give some thought for this point, because your first line is the one that makes the first impression about what you wrote : )

Everyday I fought a battle between the life I had and the life I wanted. I wanted to have a career. A workplace I looked forward to going to, making a difference. Instead, I begrudgingly went in every day, punched the clock, and waited until the clock struck six so I could go home,

awesome!

I could quit and pursue my dream of becoming a teacher.

your dream of becoming a teacher suddenly appears, sort of unexpectedly for the reader.... why not you introduce this little change to the line in your first paragraph making the reader ready to accept it : D

I wanted to have a career not just for my existance, or the sake of being employed .


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