Rather than focus on the grammar and syntax, can you guys please focus on the content itself? Does the essay have impact? Did I transition right? Anything I can do to make the essay better?
Prompt: Please use this space to describe any challenge or obstacle you have faced prior to your application to medical school and how you addressed that challenge (1500 characters).
One of the biggest challenges I had to face as an EMT involved dealing with an uncooperative patient. My teammates and I were dispatched to a home where an elderly female suffered a head trauma and back pain. Despite my attempts to aid her properly, she kept refusing cervical collar, head stabilization, and cravats around herself as she was placed onto the backboard. However, she did allow us to put a cold pack on her back where her pain was originating. While we were on route to the hospital, the patient created a tense atmosphere as she was still writhing with back pain and started insulting us despite our attempts to expedite the transport as quickly and efficiently as we could. However, as an EMT, I fully understood the importance of helping the patients and continuing to be respectful regardless of their current situation. Thus, in order to help her out in any way I could, I proceeded to reach my gloves into where her ice pack was and tried to further examine the pain. Surprisingly, continuing to ask her about the pain calmed her down, even though these were the same questions I asked her back at the residence. She eventually snapped back into being impatient and frustrated, but thankfully this was right as we arrived at the hospital. She eventually apologized for being very demeaning to us. Managing this patient gave me the confidence I needed to deal with many diverse set of patients along with an appreciation of how I have the ability to overcome challenges.
Prompt: Please use this space to describe any challenge or obstacle you have faced prior to your application to medical school and how you addressed that challenge (1500 characters).
One of the biggest challenges I had to face as an EMT involved dealing with an uncooperative patient. My teammates and I were dispatched to a home where an elderly female suffered a head trauma and back pain. Despite my attempts to aid her properly, she kept refusing cervical collar, head stabilization, and cravats around herself as she was placed onto the backboard. However, she did allow us to put a cold pack on her back where her pain was originating. While we were on route to the hospital, the patient created a tense atmosphere as she was still writhing with back pain and started insulting us despite our attempts to expedite the transport as quickly and efficiently as we could. However, as an EMT, I fully understood the importance of helping the patients and continuing to be respectful regardless of their current situation. Thus, in order to help her out in any way I could, I proceeded to reach my gloves into where her ice pack was and tried to further examine the pain. Surprisingly, continuing to ask her about the pain calmed her down, even though these were the same questions I asked her back at the residence. She eventually snapped back into being impatient and frustrated, but thankfully this was right as we arrived at the hospital. She eventually apologized for being very demeaning to us. Managing this patient gave me the confidence I needed to deal with many diverse set of patients along with an appreciation of how I have the ability to overcome challenges.