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Opinions on my masters degree autobiography for CS (Taiwan)



sentuLLL 1 / -  
Nov 9, 2024   #1
I am bad at making essay, and I would like to ask for opinions on my masters degree autobiography for masters degree application in Taiwan. All inputs are appreciated as I also want to improve my writing skills. Thank you!

Autobiography

"It is never too late to start from zero. Pursue your passion, do your best, cherish the moment, and trust God to care for the rest." This is the advice given by my parents that has shaped me in my journey to this day, helping me overcome challenges and discover my true passion for computing science.

My name is [English name], and my given Chinese name is [Chinese Name]. I graduated nearly a year ago with a bachelor's degree in [Undergraduate Department] from [undergraduate School name]. While my time at [Undergraduate Department] was enriching, it also marked a pivotal phase in my life. I began to shift myself from traditional engineering toward my realization and growing interest in computing science. This transition wasn't immediate; it emerged as I faced difficulty choosing and approaching working on my final year project. I struggled with how to proceed with any project topics that I was not interested in. I realized my true interests lay in statistical and computational science, especially in machine learning research.

This transition was challenging due to the limited computer science-related courses offered in my department. As a result, I took the initiative to enroll in courses outside my department and school, such as [Class 1] and [Class 2], to further broaden my knowledge beyond my major. I also participated in seminars, including [Seminar 1], which introduced me to the vast and interdisciplinary world of computational science.

As I navigated through all of these classes and seminars, the transformative power of data in the decision-making process became evident to me. This realization struck me and further fueled my curiosity, motivating me to delve deeper into machine learning. I also saw the potential that my final year project could act as a stepping stone for me to further explore this newfound interest. With this in mind, I made the pivotal decision to adapt my final year project, [FYP Title] to incorporate a more statistical approach to align it with my interests. This project acts as my first experience with computational science tasks and finishing it made me even more fascinated with this new research direction altogether.

Despite gaining foundational knowledge through coursework and seminars, I realized that to truly excel in this new field, I needed to further deepen my expertise. Driven by this desire, I took a bold step: I decided to take a gap year to focus entirely on research and gaining practical experience. This was a challenging decision, being abroad without a clear plan in place or support from family, but this became a valuable opportunity for growth and self-discovery. While I was uncertain about the outcome, I remained confident in my ability to grow through these challenges. I am fully committed to maximizing every opportunity and putting in my best efforts. Fortunately, this decision led to an invaluable opportunity to work under [Employer Name] at [Workplace].

As a volunteer research assistant, [Employer Name] mentorship has been transformative, guiding my focus toward a completely new field which is Natural Language Processing (NLP), particularly in Large Language Models (LLMs) and their application. My first project under his guidance involved exploring how these models could be used in generating [Relevant Topic], particularly by fine-tuning language models. When given this project, I was completely new to this field and uncertain about how to approach it initially. This project stretched my skills to its limit, but in the end, I completed it successfully, achieving performance comparable to state-of-the-art models.

This opportunity continued into my summer internship, where I developed an original idea for an information retrieval system for knowledge-intensive tasks. I explore the potential of [Simple explanation on the project], deepening my understanding of how language models can transform real-world applications. This project not only challenged me on a technical level but also helped me to have the courage to innovate regardless of the outcome. It taught me the value of persistence and the importance of taking risks in pursuit of new ideas. Through this experience, I gained greater confidence in my ability to navigate uncertainty, a lesson I will carry with me throughout my life.

Reflecting on my journey, I realize how far I have developed my skills and passion. The combination of theoretical learning, practical experience, and life lessons has allowed me to confidently prepare myself for the next step: pursuing graduate studies. I am excited to join Master's degree program in Computer Science at [Intended graduate School], which will provide the ideal platform for continued growth. I look forward to facing the challenges of graduate study, further developing myself, and contributing to the advancement of AI and machine learning research.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15458  
Nov 10, 2024   #2
I am considering how well the reviewer will receive this information considering that these are all academic, and thus theoretical accomplishments on your part. You have volunteer work experience which means it was unpaid and you were not really able to contribute your skills to the workplace situation. It is important that you come across with some actual work and leadership, or at least, consultative experience in your biography so that you can prove that you have work exposure that can use the information you will be gaining from the masters course. Right now, the presentation is a bit bland and not really interesting enough to excite the reader into finding out more about you and discovering what your potential might be should you become a masters student at the university.


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