'passionate about making a difference in the lives' - Family Nurse Practitioner Admission Essay

Family Nurse Practitioner Admission Essay

1) Specific academic and career goals
2) Motivations for seeking advanced education in specialty area
3) How did I come to seek graduate education in this specialty area
4 Primary personal attributes and how those attributes relate to my potential in the program

I am incredibly passionate about making a difference in the lives of others as a Nurse Practitioner because I can attest to the impact healthcare professionals can make. As a child, I can remember being in and out of the doctors' offices and hospitals with my grandfather. My grandparents raised me and I witnessed my grandfather's peaks and valleys until he passed away. From receiving a quadruple bypass, a knee replacement resulting in renal failure and dialysis for the last four years of his life, I have distinct memories along the way where a nurse or doctor made me feel like they cared.

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Will, I am a bit confused about your essay. Are you reusing this essay that you originally used in a different application? I need to know if you are doing that because your essay is overly long and has portions that obviously refer to a different essay prompt and application. I refer of course to the military service nurse references that you make in the middle of the essay.

This is actually too long for an admissions essay that has only 4 specific questions that you have to answer. I suggest that you review the essay, pick out the relevant portions in relation to the prompt questions, and then delete all the other portions that do not have a direct relation to the questions being asked. Remember, keeping it short will help your essay. Offering too much information that is not really required in the prompt will have adverse effects on your application as there is a greater chance that the admissions officer will decide to stop reading the overly long and wordy essay midstream. Post your edited essay in this thread when you are done and we will help you whip it into shape :-)

Thank you so much for your reply. Actually, I have written other admission essays but I wrote this one from scratch. The prompt instructed 1-3 pages, single spaced. I have struggled tremendously with this essay because I have received different opinions on length and content. I need to be specific and give details but yet short and concise. How much is too much and how much is enough? That is where I'm struggling.

Again, thank you for your reply.

Will keep your essay at 100 words maximum with single spaces. Try to answer each question only as a distinct paragraph. Don't offer information not being asked for by the essay prompt. Once you stick to answering only the questions that require answers, you will find that your word count will immediately go down. You don't need to be very detailed about your background. Just present the pertinent information in such a way that it comes across as very important in the paper and will present you in the best light possible as a potential student. Try to revise the essay to just a little over 1000 words and I'll see what I can do to help you make it tighter, concise, and quite strong in terms of message and theme.

My mistake Will, I meant to say 1000 words not 100. Upon further review, I realized that there is a need to remove the wordiness of your essay so I suggest that you review your whole essay. You need to review what you wrote and jot down the most notable and important portions of each paragraph that will properly respond to the essay prompt. Be direct to the point and don't try to over elaborate on your accomplishments. Remove any embellishments that you added because that will only take up word space. Keep the essay as short but informative as possible in order to make it easier for the admissions officer to read. He does not have the time to wade through very long essays looking for the essence and answers within your work. Bring all required answers to the front of the paragraph with a short but informative description afterwards. Try not be less than 3 sentence but no more than 6 sentences in each paragraph.

1) What specifically are your academic and career goals?
2) What are your motivations for seeking advanced education in your designated specialty area?
3) How did you come to your decision to seek graduate education in this specialty area?
4) What are your primary attributes and what is the relationship of these attributes to your potential as a masters-prepared nurse?

As a Flight Nurse in the United States Air Force, I will have the opportunity to serve the soldiers and their families who serve this country. These soldiers fight on the front lines to defend our safety and freedom. In my nearly three years of experience as a Registered Nurse (RN), I have come to realize that Family Nurse Practitioners (FNP) are on the front lines of health care. I write this narrative with hopes the admissions committee can discern my passion for furthering my education and advancing my nursing practice.

In nearly three years of experience as a RN, many of my patients had one thing in common. Their hospital admissions could have been prevented by efficient, personalized primary care. My previous experience as a medical/surgical nurse and currently as a neurosurgical/trauma nurse on a progressive care unit has enlightened me with greater insight on how I can fill the gap as a FNP. I spent over a year and a half on a medical/surgical unit where I encountered many patients with orthopedic, gastrointestinal, and various other medical issues. Many of these patients needed their gallbladder removed or a partial colectomy or had a colostomy procedure. A significant number of the patients who I currently care for on the neurosurgical/trauma unit have suffered from a cerebral vascular attack. Unhealthy lifestyles that induce comorbidities oftentimes lead to the surgeries and illnesses mentioned above. It is evident to me, more than ever, just how imperative primary care is to health prevention, promotion, and education. As a FNP, I will strongly adhere to health prevention, promotion, and education to decrease hospital admissions and readmissions for my patients. I will also utilize these three components to address the alarming fact that the next generation of children has a shorter lifespan than their parents. This reality breaks my heart. 10 years ago I presented a speech my freshman year of college in which I shared how a large percentage of this country is overweight and a significant proportion is obese. Currently, these percentages have grown which is indicative of a deficient healthcare system. I want to be on the front lines doing my part to revolutionize the state of health in this country. Through individualized care plans, I will have the ability to transform lives. If we, as health care professionals, can cultivate a healthy foundation in our patients, then we can begin to stabilize the foundation of our healthcare system.

My motivation for pursuing an advanced degree in nursing has evolved from my passion for providing holistic care. Validation to become a nurse occurred early in nursing school when I had a patient who just learned she was in renal failure. The doctors told her she would need a port placed for life-saving dialysis. She expressed her fear with me as she began to cry. My depth of knowledge at this point was very shallow. All I knew to do in that moment was pray with her. She held my hand a little longer and thanked me. Later that day, her family was at the bedside and it was time for her procedure. Her son attempted to hold her hand and she told him no because she wanted to hold my hand. This moment impacted me greatly. It reminded me a great deal of how I wished somebody would have made me feel as a child being in and out of the doctors' offices and hospitals with my grandfather. My grandparents raised me and I witnessed my grandfather's peaks and valleys until he passed away. From receiving a quadruple bypass, a knee replacement resulting in renal failure, and dialysis for the last four years of his life, I cannot recall a single memory of a nurse or doctor instilling hope in me. The greatest disappointment I can remember is feeling like his primary care doctor did not care. The physician did his job but was not personable or holistic about it. In my nearly three years of experience as a Registered Nurse, I have found it very difficult to provide the level of holistic care I desire for my patients. The tasks and demands of being a bedside nurse greatly hinder my efforts of providing holistic care. In addition to those tasks and demands, working in a hospital allows me to care for patients only for a short period of time. I want to give my patients more of what I have to offer. My desire is to understand my patients for who they are rather than a medical diagnosis. I want to establish long term relationships with my patients and be a constant influence for them. Individuals need to feel educated and empowered to save their own lives. As a FNP, I will have an ideal platform to instill these tools within my patients.

I plan to excel academically if fortunate enough to be selected. An instructor of mine at Commissioned Officer Training for the Air Force said, "Strive for perfection, but settle for excellence." This is the mindset I carry with me in all endeavors and will continue to do so in advancing my education. Being selected to pursue graduate studies in 2015 is my five year plan coming to fruition. Becoming a FNP through THE Ohio State University would be a dream come true. I intend to graduate with honors while being in the top 10% of my class. I understand this achievement is gained by a high, consistent level of performance. My past accomplishments have proven me capable of such a performance. This is a challenge I am very excited to take on. The vision I have for my career transcends beyond the community I will serve. My heart is to serve patients of all ages and backgrounds. As a flight nurse in the Air Force, I will be able to take my expertise to parts of the world I never thought I would see. I also yearn to serve those across oceans who have very little. For many years, I have been a part of a church who financially serves individuals in underdeveloped African countries. Recently, my church partnered with an organization to make shoes in an effort to decrease the spread of diseases that can enter through the feet. I want to serve these individuals face-to-face. My wish is to bring them comfort and care as I hope to impart on all of my patients.

I am confident I have many personal attributes that reflect a masters-prepared nurse. My persistence and determination carried me through my first bachelor's degree while working three jobs just to pay for school. I maintained the same focus while achieving my Bachelor of Science in Nursing degree through a rigorous 13 month program at Mount Carmel College of Nursing. I have a proven ability to communicate effectively with diverse groups of individuals. As a youth pastor, a substitute teacher, and a baseball coach, I have had the privilege of working and connecting with children of all ages. Being a pastor presented many opportunities to converse with children and adults. My previous degree in Exercise Science and Pre-Physical Therapy will add another dimension to my nursing practice. The past few years as a bedside nurse have allowed me to incorporate all of my skills and implement them as a health care provider. My experience in the military has instilled a certain work ethic in me, along with a strong sense of discipline. I am proud to serve my country and I would be just as proud to officially call myself a Buckeye.

I want to thank those who have taken the time to read about my journey. I hope to be a part of the incoming class in Autumn of 2015. Go Bucks!

- Limit the wordiness of your essay. In this particular paragraph, you should only be discussing how you observed other FNP's in action from your vantage point as a nurse. Then tell us how that observation led you to believe that health care will be provided addressed if there were more FNP's on the floor to handle all of the cases coming into the E.R. As I recall, FNP's in major hospitals are normally assigned to the E.R. in order to lessen the workload of the actual doctors. Your job is to analyze the case, prescribe medicine when needed and then refer them to the proper doctor specialist when necessary. You are not allowed to treat major illnesses nor perform major procedures as a FNP. You are only a junior doctor, not a licensed M.D. You are going off tangent here.


- As a nurse, you already instill hope and administer care for your patients. You don't need to be a FNP to accomplish that. You are already equipped to instill those requirements in your patients as a nurse. Look beyond regular nursing for your motivation. Since as a FNP you will be allowed to set up a clinic of your own for minor consultations in your community, discuss a community motivation instead. Mention how communities will benefit from having a FNP clinic because they can get medical treatment for minor illnesses and get the correct specialist recommendations based upon proper medical evaluation by a FNP. This eliminates the guessing game with regards to community health and practices.


- Don't be boastful in your admissions essays. Try to just sell them on the idea that you are academically inclined and have the proper academic foundation to complete this course at the level that it entails. You can actually combine your academic and personal attributes in one paragraph because from what I have read of the following paragraph, you did just that.


- This is unnecessary. Don't suck up. Let your essay and your other academic documents speak for itself in terms of meriting your admission to the school.

If you revise the essay as per my advise, you should see the word count go down since you will be only direct to the point and not very flowery with your statements. Remember, we have only a limited amount of time to express all of the require parts and catch the attention of the admissions officers who will be reviewing and approving your application. Just get to the point at once. Don't try to over explain yourself. Just answer the questions asked. Too much information will hurt your application, not help it. Don't offer information not asked for. Stay away from the unnecessary statements like what other people said about success and things like that. Those are just unnecessary word fillers.