'providing care and guidance' - Essay for Physician Assistant Program

My interested in the medical field wasn't realized until late in life. My personality to helping people is what initially attracted me to public health, specifically in learning about HIV/AIDS. However, it was through life experiences that I realized my passion of becoming a physician assistant.

After obtaining a Bachelor degree in Political Science and Asian Studies from the University of Tennessee, I moved to Washington, DC. Here I gained experience in lobbying, researching and advocating for nonprofit HIV/AIDS organizations. I was fortunate enough to attend multiple National Institute of Health symposiums and discussions on this topic. My eagerness to address the HIV-infected population ultimately inspired an education geared towards public health. I started taking courses at George Washington University school of Public Health where I realized medicine is where my real enthusiasm and love lies.

My current position with the U.S. Department of State's Office of Medical Services continues to pique my interest about medicine. As a Management Analyst for Emergency Preparedness, my experience and skills in leadership and management are essential. My interpersonal skills provide systematic decision-making and management compliances to understand causation to problems. Utilizing these traits allows me to prepare for crisis situation around the world. Recently, my expertise was of high importance when supplying vaccination and equipment for a desolate health unit in Juba, South Sudan. Having medical supplies before the health unit allowed our new medical providers to utilize supplies and assist patients in a timely manner. I'm pleased to say, I've been awarded for my services to U.S. Embassies and communities around the world. While employment in the government sector provides professional experiences, it also presented opportunities to learn about various medical fields.

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The biggest issue with this is that your thesis is not present in the introduction. Good writers and speakers tell us what they're going to tell us, then tell us, and then tell us what they just told us. Utilize this format.

Secondly, you have achieved a lot in life already and should share how you feel about all of this. Revealing your motivating factors will always help a reader understand you. Why is HIV/AIDS so important to you? Why are you working for the government? What lead you to make the decisions you made?

EDIT:

Yikes... some of my corrections didn't show.

In short, towards the end you mention your bad grades. I would not mention this unless I absolutely have to. And if that's the case, spin it to make it sound like a good thing. Maybe you were so consumed by your passion to help people that you decided to put school on the back-burner for a while.

Secondly, your thesis is all the way at the end of this "My goal is...". Though it should be there, it should also be stated in a different way in the introduction paragraph.

Thanks!

I was born in India, in a time when the caste system was even more prevalent than it is now. Nonetheless, this system still bares health disparities and misfortunate for minorities preventing health services and medical procedures the higher caste receive. A hardship I witnessed on many travels to India. Seeing this and the sadness I felt, piqued my interest in Public Health and ultimately a desire to pursue a career as a Physician Assistant.

My undergraduate education proved to be an excellent opportunity to learn about myself. I struggled to adapt, organize and balance my studies while taking courses. As a result, my grades in the first two years suffered. After obtaining a Bachelor degree in Political Science, I moved to Washington, DC. Here, I lobbied, researched, and advocated for several nonprofit organizations to support underserved populations receive medical care. In addition, I attended numerous National Institute of Health symposia and discussions to further my knowledge. My eagerness to address this topic ultimately inspired an education geared towards Public Health. I started taking courses at George Washington University school of Public Health and discovered natural science is where my real interest lies.

Due to my passion in this field, I sought out an array of volunteer experiences. As a medical assistant for the Capital Women's Care my duties include preparing and administering Gardasil shots as well as assisting with colposcopies and pap smears. In addition, I counsel patients on Sexually Transmitted Diseases and inform women about abnormal test results. I have taken on further responsibilities by volunteering at the orthopedic department at Sibley Hospital to assist in aiding patients in mobility after surgery and bandage minor cuts. In many situations, my language fluency and cultural background in Hindi, Gujurati, and Mandarin has helped to understand and communicate with patients in this hospital and members of my community. ​

My curiosity in medicine led me to secure a position with the U.S. Department of State's Office of Medical Services. Working alongside Nurse Practitioners, Physician Assistants, and medical doctors presented opportunities and experiences to better understand different opportunities available in the medical sector. I was trained to prepare patients for stress tests, aid in cardiac sonograms and perform physical examinations with the assistance of a mentor. In addition, I also organized and was invited to attend the Continuing Medical Education (CME) Seminar for U.S. Foreign Service Physician Assistants (PA) and Nurse Practitioners (NP) in Istanbul, Turkey. While at the CME (hosted by Cleveland Clinic) I learned new medical procedures, complex and challenging care issues faced by Foreign Service officers. These exposures made me realize how rewarding a profession as a physician assistant will be.

There are many traits I possess which I'm looking forward to utilizing as a Physician Assistant. My current position as a Program Analyst for Emergency Preparedness, has equipped me to become a skilled leader to organize and respond to emergencies for health units overseas. In addition, for the past three years, I've successfully managed to work and prepare for the Physician Assistant program. Undertaking these endeavors has been challenging yet my perseverance was rewarded as I maintained a 3.7 G.P.A in my post undergraduate school.

I look forward to utilizing these skills to apply to the different facets of medicine. The medical training I obtain from this program will enhance my future goal to assist underserved population. I look forward to interviewing with you and sharing my experiences in person. Thank you for your time and consideration of my application. I'm confident I will be a good fit and an excellent student in your well-respected Physician Assistant program.

Nonetheless, this system still bares health disparities and misfortune for minorities, preventing health services and medical procedures the higher caste receive.

Here, I lobbied, researched, and advocated for several nonprofit organizations to support under served populations receiving medical care.

In addition, I attended numerous National Institute of Health symposium and discussions to further my knowledge.

I have taken on further responsibilities by volunteering at the orthopedic department at Sibley Hospital to assist in aiding patients in mobility after surgery and bandage minor cuts.

Undertaking these endeavors has been challenging, yet my perseverance was rewarded as I maintained a 3.7 G.P.A in my post undergraduate school.

The medical training I obtain from this program will enhance my future goal to assist under-served populations .

:)

I don't have much grammatical advice to give, as I'm not an expert, however I can tell you that the content of your essay is very unique and refreshing!