My interest in the medical field wasn't realized until later in my life, You're starting on a negative, try starting this with a "though" and ending it with a "but..." or get rid of it. My passion for helping people is what initially attracted me to public health, specifically in learning about HIV/AIDS This needs a lead-in... explain why you were learning about HIV/AIDS in the first palceHowever,it was through life experiences that I realized my passion of becoming a physician assistant.There is no clear thesis here. Why are you writing this and why should they pick you? Be clear and hard-hitting.
After obtaining a Bachelor degree in Political Science and Asian Studies from the University of Tennessee, I moved to Washington, DC. Explain why you moved. Here I gained experience in lobbying, researching and advocating for nonprofit HIV/AIDS organizations. I was fortunate enough to attend multiple National Institute of Health symposiums and discussions on this topic. My eagerness to address the HIV-infected population ultimately inspired an education geared towards public health. I started taking courses at George Washington University, S chool of Public Health. It was there that I realized medicine is where my real enthusiasm and love lies.
My current position with the U.S. Department of State's Office of Medical Services continues to pique my interest about medicine. As a Management Analyst for Emergency Preparedness, my experience and skills in leadership and management are essential. My interpersonal skills provide systematic decision-making and management compliances... use a different word to understand causation to problems. Utilizing these traits allows me to prepare for crisis situation around the world. Recently, my expertise was of high importance when supplying vaccination and equipment for a desolate health unit in Juba, South Sudan. Having medical supplies before the health unit allowed our new medical providers to utilize supplies and assist patients in a timely manner. I'm pleased to say, I've been awarded for my services to U.S. Embassies and communities around the world. While employment in the government sector provides professional experiences, it also presented opportunities to learn about various medical fields.
My interest in the Physician Assistant profession started and flourished as I worked alongside my colleagues. In many occasions, I was asked to prepare stress tests, aid in cardiac sonograms and perform physical examinations. In addition, I also organized and attended the Continuing Medical Education (CME) Seminar for U.S. Foreign Service Physician Assistants (PA) and Nurse Practitioners (NP). I've been fortunate to attend the CME hosted by Cleveland Clinic and working with medical providers. These exposures brought forth a realization of how exciting and gratifying a profession as a Physician Assistant will be.
While undergraduate education proved an opportunity to learn about myself, my tenure was spent trying to grasp the concept of studying and managing time. Consequently, grades in the first two years suffered. Nonetheless, I raised my G.P.A. and graduated with a Bachelors degree in Political Science and a minor in Asian Language. Since then, I've managed my time working, studying, and volunteering for the past three years. Undertaking all of these endeavors has been challenging yet my perseverance has been rewarding as I've maintained a 3.7 GP.A.
My goal has always been to make a difference in people's lives by providing care and guidance. The experiences conjunction with what I will learn from your institution will further my clinical skills. I look forward to the opportunity to interview with you and share my experiences in person. Thank you for your time and consideration of my application. I'm confident I will be a good fit and an excellent student in your well-respected Physician Assistant program.
The biggest issue with this is that your thesis is not present in the introduction. Good writers and speakers tell us what they're going to tell us, then tell us, and then tell us what they just told us. Utilize this format.
Secondly, you have achieved a lot in life already and should share how you feel about all of this. Revealing your motivating factors will always help a reader understand you. Why is HIV/AIDS so important to you? Why are you working for the government? What lead you to make the decisions you made?
EDIT:
Yikes... some of my corrections didn't show.
In short, towards the end you mention your bad grades. I would not mention this unless I absolutely have to. And if that's the case, spin it to make it sound like a good thing. Maybe you were so consumed by your passion to help people that you decided to put school on the back-burner for a while.
Secondly, your thesis is all the way at the end of this "My goal is...". Though it should be there, it should also be stated in a different way in the introduction paragraph.
