I write to express interest in applying for the international master of research program in 'Earth science with focus on geophysics' in your institution. I have a strong desire to practice the research of Geophysics. This is in-line with my career goals of becoming a top notch Geoscientist/ Research Consultant. I wish to broaden my technical skills and expertise in area of data processing and interpretation in Seismic and Magnetic methods and add more knowledge about the earth and planet. I am aware that the research field is very competitive and in order to be successful, I need to stand out. I believe that this MSc program is the right platform for me to accomplish my professional and personal goals. I also believe this program will provide me the chance of gaining a meaningful work experience whilst I study and particularly alluring to me is an excellent research prospect upon completion of this course.
The undergraduate curriculum in pure physics at Shahjalal University of Science and Technology introduced me to a wide scope of subjects. Various courses like Geophysical methods (Seismic, magnetic, electricity etc.) of prospecting and interpretation. This interest is increased day by day while I am working in the field of magnetic property of some material. When I work with the material (influence of Y on La2CoO3), magnetic property is changed continuously with different temperature and different environment. This time something pass through my mind if one material's magnetic property changes like that then how it will change when lots of material aggregated in same place and gluts of wave pass through this material. For solution, there must be need seismic evaluation. Also, it give's idea about the changing of gravitational acceleration due to perturbation on earth surface while anyone can understand the earth surface perfectly by studying geophysics, because only seismic calculation can describe the inner face of the earth.
Through Geophysics, I will be able to use a variety of instruments that rely on the principles of geology and physics to locate archaeological features without having to disturb the earth. This research demands innovative thinkers to come up with cost-effective methods of searching large areas of ground in the shortest time possible. Benefits of geophysicists include working outdoors for acquisition of seismic data, using the latest technological equipment. Geophysics is a very tangible field for research that makes you feel that you are part of something greater than yourself.
I am a serious and quiet and flexible individual that has a strong affinity for calculations, my past engagements with calculation courses have been met with excellence from high school to the university, I intend to continue in that same vein, if admitted into the research program. By interacting with professionals and having access to world class research facilities in your institution, I am convinced that through diligence and a drive to succeed, I will be able to make a positive contribution to your institution.
Mohammad, which of the following are you trying to write:
1. Personal Statement
2. Statement of Purpose
3. Letter of Motivation
I see influences of all 3 types of graduate school essay themes so I need you to be very specific about which of the 3 formats you are thinking of writing at this point. We will direct the essay content based upon the kind of essay you really want to write by making it specific and tailor made for the specification of that prompt.
At this point, I can tell you that the essay does not contain enough information to pass as any of the above essays because it does have any direction nor proper conclusion. Only when you pick the kind of essay you need to write of the 3, will we be able to properly develop the essay.
I want to write statement of purpose actually. Suggest me what should i do? adding or subtracting something? What if I add some line in front of it like
"I write to express interest in applying for the international master of research program in 'Earth science with focus on geophysics' in your institution. I have a strong desire to practice the research of Geophysics. When I finished High School I knew that I wanted to study any subject that lead me to do some research, but I was not sure which field of research would be the best. I did some study and found that studying physics is fascinating. I read about the Geophysics in that course, part of seismic evaluation, and the scope of Geophysics methods and I found it very interesting because mathematics is involved in the process. I loved mathematics since I was a child and the orderliness of mathematics in Geophysics was the principal factor which encouraged me to choose that subject.
While studying pure physics, I was very interested in the courses about Gravity and Magnetization. I am working in a project related to magnetic methods where we are looking for influence of some atom on some material for changing magnetic property. I am in charge of processing the data. "
Mohammad, writing a statement of purpose is easy. I can actually see the part of the former essay that you can use as the starting point for your statement of purpose because it clearly indicates just that, including your plans for your future. Use the following as the basis of your statement of purpose:
I have a strong desire to practice the research of Geophysics. This is in-line with my career goals of becoming a top notch Geoscientist/ Research Consultant. I wish to broaden my technical skills and expertise in area of data processing and interpretation in Seismic and Magnetic methods and add more knowledge about the earth and planet. I am aware that the research field is very competitive and in order to be successful, I need to stand out.
From there you just need to discuss how you have come to prepare yourself for your masters studies. Mention your experiences in the field, any training or seminars / conferences, awards you received in relation to the work you do, and what type of research you may want to do as part of your master's thesis or dissertation. Those are the basic points. We can adjust the content as needed after you develop the new draft :-)
What about this one?
...
Mohammad, You can't use information in this essay from when you were 14 years old. this is not a college application, this is a masters degree study application. So you need to show more maturity, a sense of developed interest, enhanced skills, and reason for the pursuit of your course. Relying on information about how your interest was sparked when you were 14 doesn't really help with your essay.
Try to depict your more current interests in the field of Geophysics. Explain where your strong desire to do research in the field comes from. What do you hope to accomplish through this study? What questions do you want answered? How will these advanced studies help you to discover the answer to these questions? Do you have any hypothesis that you hope to prove through the help of the research department of the university? These are all possible scenarios that you could present in your essay which will help you strengthen the possibility of your admission as a masters degree student.
Make sure that your application shows how you look forward to your future in this field by sharing information about your current and immediate past accomplishments in Geophysics. Keep in mind that you will be applying alongside accomplished professional who quite possibly, have published work in related fields. So you need to come up to that level of consideration. Depict only your skills and experience, or your published work that will allow the reviewer to understand that you have what it takes to make a difference in this field. Make sure that the reviewer will feel like you are a gem of a student whose addition to their roster of students can only raise the bar in terms of educational quality at their institution.
Right now, your paper sounds like it was written as a college application. We have to change that tone and make it serious. It needs to have the tone of a potential master professional in the field of Geophysics. With a few more revisions, we just may accomplish that :-)
I hope so.I Wish if i could be a better writer of various statement :P :). Take a look at this one:
I have a strong desire to practice the research of Geophysics. This is in-line with ...
Better, but not all the points are necessary. Let me see if I can pull out the important aspects / keywords for you to develop in relation to your SOP.
Purpose:
This is in-line with my career goals of becoming a top notch Geoscientist/ Research Consultant/Teacher. I need to know about earth and various planets with the help of geophysical methods. Because geophysics is the course in which geography and physics both are aggregated greatly and make the understanding of earth surface and inner condition better. By different methods of geophysics specifically seismic method and data interpretation can make the answer of these questions. For that, geophysical seismic evaluation is most important to me.
Background:
Your academic background is sufficient. Don't change or add anything at this point. We will work on its final content later on.
Notable Accomplishments:
I am working on some material with another professor about the influence of an atom to a material to change the magnetic property
- Discuss the importance of your perceived final outcome of this research and how it will possibly help advance the field of Geophysics. Talk about how you plan to build upon this research as a masters degree student at the university.
Why this university?
I found some of professor's in your institution is great with seismological evaluation and geophysics. This creates a plethora of interest about your institution and also the research facility of your institution helps me to decide for applying. I want to do study the earth science and engineering with sound and serious intention and to do research with focus on geophysics
- Name the professors, what their study is, mention if you hope to connect your future research with theirs so you can work with the professor directly. What lab or research offerings of the university are of interest to you and why.
Don't get irritated :-) We are actually making good progress with your essay. The above guidelines should help better align the content so that we can either finalize, or edit the essay one more time before completion :-)
is it ok ?
This is in-line with my career goals of becoming a top notch Geoscientist/ Research Consultant/Teacher. I need to know about earth and various planets ...
I still think that the first paragraph needs to be improved. What od you think of this version for use in your essay?
My career goal is to become a top notch Geoscientist/ Research Consultant/Teacher. This is a professional plan that I hope to achieve after I have learned the answers to the geophysical questions that surround our planet. I hope to do research in the field during my MS years that will lay the foundation for the eventual discovery of the answers to earthbound statement questions such as:
The Earth's magnetic property changes with the spin of different material which is a liquid that is formed at its core. The gravity field varies with perturbation of mass on the earth surface.So, does this mean that gravity depends on the mass of the planet? What will happen if the materials in core are stopped spinning? Why materials in core are spinning? Is the temperature main reason behind this spinning? Is it also applicable for other planets? Etc. I want to find the truth behind these questions.
If you think that the above revised paragraph is an introductory statement that you will be comfortable in using, I would like to ask your permission to now edit the total essay that you have written so that I can hand it over to you in its final format. Please let me know if I can proceed with doing that for you :-)
Yes, of course, why not? You are good at it. I like it. Also it will be very good for me
Mohammad, this is a new draft of your essay that I developed. Do me a favor and fill in the blanks regarding the professors names and universities where they work. I also want to know if you have any additional information or comments that you want to add to the essay so that I can work on adding those too. Here is the essay for your review and comment:
The Earth's magnetic property changes with the spin of different material which is a liquid that is formed at its core. The gravity field ...
I know it seems very short at the moment. That is what is supposed to happen because I left room for additional information coming from you. At the moment, we can add at least 2 more important paragraphs to it.
Truthfully it is great but they told me write about 750 words and give some questions about that statement to write about my past work and preparation about subject and academic plans and research on their university and how will it fill and help my career goals. Actually in there my future career is not indicated and also my preparation for that subject not also added other than that everything is OK brother. What are you say about adding 2nd paragraph and the last one?
Mohammad, take the essay that I wrote above and insert the topics that you mentioned as lacking in my development of your essay. As I mentioned before, it is short because it needs additional information from your end. Since you now have a clear idea of the kind of important and relevant information that you want to include in the essay, go ahead and add it. My role will be to make sure that it merges and flows smoothly with the essay that I developed as a template for you.
You can also opt to just mention the information that you wish to have added to the essay in your response to this post. From there, I can lift it and develop your essay further. I will then post the new version here for your comments, additions, or approval. We can develop the essay better if we work together on the content and form :-) What do you say? I'll await your decision.
What you think if we add this thing like that? It give's a view about my future work and also past. Also how i made preparation from start. But what am I thinking that the second paragraph's starting is little bit outlined.
The Earth's magnetic property changes with the spin of different material which is a liquid that is formed at its core. The gravity field varies with perturbation of mass on the earth surface. So, does this mean that gravity depends on the mass of the planet? What will happen if the materials in core are stopped spinning? Why materials in core are spinning? Is the temperature main reason behind this spinning? Is it also applicable for other planets? I want to find the truth behind these questions.
The undergraduate curriculum in pure physics at BBB university introduced me to a wide scope of subjects. Various courses like Electricity and Magnetism, Relativity, Classical mechanics, Quantum mechanics, Solid states, Geophysics etc. was completed with different methods of prospecting and interpretation. In that time, one of the professors taught us about relativity and geophysics and not only increase my curiosity but also made my focus on the gravitational and magnetic field greatly. He taught us some of geophysical and relativistic methods in his course including seismic evaluation and curvature coordinates and when I asked question about that he made a clear notion that if you want to understand about the magnetization and gravity properly, then you have to understand about the layers of earth or layers of that particular planet or thing and it's mass variety and difference of materials.
Based on my personal point of view, I decided to pursue research that would help me get closer the answers that I seek. Currently, I am working on some material with Prof. XXX at BBB University. As colleagues, we are researching about the influence of an atom on the magnetic property of an item. This research has helped me understand how magnetic property varies with different material combinations, which led me to understand the concept and results behind the liquid material spinning in core and partial melting solid in asthenosphere.
For research on geophysics, I found the work of Prof. FFF in your institution quite interesting in terms of its relevance in seismological evaluation and geophysics. It is my hope that, upon admission to your university, I will be given the opportunity to attend classes conducted by and work alongside Prof. FFF in furthering her research. I desire to complete research earth science and engineering with a focus on geophysics for my master's thesis.
Through Geophysics, I will be able to use a variety of instruments that rely on the principle of geology and physics to locate magnetic and gravitational features without having to disturb the earth and to do further study about the earth and different planet. This research demands innovative thinkers to come up with cost-effective methods of searching large areas of ground in the shortest time possible. Benefits of geophysicists include working outdoors for acquisition of seismic data, using the latest technological equipment.My career goal is to become a top notch Geoscientist/ Research Consultant/Teacher. Geophysics is a very tangible field for research and completing research and degree from your institution which will help me to find my answers and reach to my goal.
Mohammad, this version of your essay is certainly more usable and provides necessary information. Just had to edit the second paragraph because there were some parts that were unnecessary so I just edited it and corrected some punctuation issues. Here is that revised paragraph:
The undergraduate curriculum in pure physics at BBB university introduced me to a wide scope of subjects. In that time, one of the professors taught us about relativity and geophysics and not only increased my curiosity , but also made my focus on the gravitational and magnetic field greatly. He taught us some of geophysical and relativistic methods in his course including seismic evaluation and curvature coordinates and when I asked question about that he made a clear notion that if you want to understand about the magnetization and gravity properly, then you have to understand about the layers of earth or layers of that particular planet or thing and it's mass variety and difference of materials.
Use this version in place of the one you have at the moment. I believe that your essay is ready to use at this point. You can already submit it if you feel that it already delivers on all the points that you want to highlight in it :-)
Thanks a lot, Friend.
