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PT School Entrance Essay First Draft



phamboy1 1 / -  
Jul 26, 2017   #1

the path of my career



One of the most joyous and memorable experiences in my life was receiving my Bachelor's degree, the first in my family, a journey that took 7 years of working full time, keeping up with school work, and running a massage practice. My life up until then, however, was heading in a different direction. From an early age, getting a job, any job, was more valuable than going to college so my goals in life and in growing up, my goal wasn't an education or having a better life than my parents, my goal was to have financial security. I started working full time right out of high school, starting as a delivery person and janitor at my brother's print shop, got promoted because I was a fast leaner, and generally settled in for a long career in the printing industry. As a Vietnamese-American, I was living up to my family expectations.

I was imbued with a strong work ethic, so having a career, any career, deemed me a success in the eyes of my mother. She grew up a poor farmer's daughter in South Vietnam and at the age of 14, abandoning her chance at a normal childhood to take care of her ailing parents until their death. She never finished grade school given there was no time nor resources to accomplish this. The Vietnam War was particularly perilous for her, given the violence around her, but she endured and managed to get a job working on the American base where she met my Dad. She was a divorcee with 4 children when my Dad offered to take her to America. She saw this as a chance for her kids to have a better life and jumped at the opportunity, despite having very little money and not knowing what the United States had to offer. Because of her difficult life in Vietnam, she saw traveling to the U.S. as a way to save her kids.

My mother's passion for caring for the welfare of others that drove me to quit my printing job, after 16 years, to pursue a career in massage therapy. I had a friend who was recovering from spine surgery, and with the help of her physical therapist, learned a few massage techniques to supplement her care. I enjoyed helping her feel better and found i had a natural ability and intuition because I was good with my hands and began to understand how to adjust pressure to make her feel more comfortable. I signed up for a course at the National Holistic Institute in Emeryville, CA. with the intention of doing massage as a hobby. Giving massages to friends and family to practice offered immediate rewards as my clients felt better and I received a source of pride. I was helping someone increase their quality of life by helping their bodies feel relaxed. I began massage school with the intention of doing massage as a hobby and grew to love the skill. After receiving my massage certificate, I quit my printing job and started building my massage practice.

I spent the first part of my career as a chiropractic assistant, learning myofascial release and trigger point work, modalities that go beyond the "feel-good" style of Swedish massage, and are integral to injury rehab. The chiropractor that I worked for took the time to help me understand how joint dysfunction can impair movement and hinder quality of life. He didn't just adjust his patients, he taught them exercises and different ways to modify their environment, so they could compliment his treatments and become stronger and more independent. His mentoring inspired me to want to take my training in the healing arts further which led me to sign up for college. After researching the necessary path to physical therapy school, I signed up for college.

I entered Cal State East Bay's kinesiology program with a clear vision of the classes I needed to take, how much time I would have to commit to school to be successful, but still unclear of what population I wanted to work with in the future. Entering college at 40, I was prepared for the commitment this would entail but not sure where my talents would be best effective. Being an older student, I was intimidated by the fact that many of my classmates were 20 years younger than I. My age, however, proved to be a benefit as I was able to mentor many of them in how to start a business, create strong client and patient relationships, and how to manage the stress of higher learning. In turn, they taught me the power of team collaboration and taught me knew therapeutic techniques they found to be effective in treating a variety of injuries. They assured me which population would most inspire me as I transitioned through my degree program. I discovered a love for working with the elderly through extensive field studies on cardiovascular health, collaborated with a research team on correlation studies comparing cardiovascular health with cognitive function, and taught cardiorespiratory and resistance exercise to seniors in a clinical setting. I saw the value of life long exercise practices and delighted in how happy physical activity made them feel. I deeply respect older people and I desire to support them in being healthy, free from pain. My parents were also in their 70s and 80s, so I made it my duty to help them enjoy an active and pain free life as well.

Easing the pain of others is what brings me joy, and combining physical therapy with the 18 years of massage experience will allow me to provide compressive care to my patients. At Samuel Merritt University (SMU), I feel I can accomplish this. SMU's DPT program is rich with community outreach opportunities, teach the importance of PT and patient relationships, and teach SMU student physical therapists how to provide lifelong physical activity support to their patient communities. I am a great candidate for the school and would be an excellent mentor for my classmates, given my 18 years of field experience in massage and rehab sciences and the ability to create respectful and supportive relationships in professional settings. If I can affect the quality of life for those who come to me for comfort, I will have affirmed that the path I chose for next career was the right one.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15393  
Jul 26, 2017   #2
@phamboy1 it is difficult for me to review your essay because it is too long and tries to accomplish too many things. I wish you had provided us with the guide questions, if there were any provided to you because that would tell me how to best assess your essay. Going by what you said though, that this is an entrance essay first draft, I will assume that you are writing a personal statement explaining why you have an interest in PT. If that is the case, then the complex information in the first part of your essay needs to be removed. The focus of the paper should be in your interest in Kinesiology and how it relates to your career in the massage therapy field. More importantly, the discussion as to why you chose this university is of the utmost importance. Revise the essay to be more focused on those aspects and then remove the irrelevant parts such as the story about your mother and your work ethics. Those are not important at this point. In a personal statement, it is only the development of your interest that is important to represent.


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