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To see the enormous socio-economic divide I didn't have to go very far from home - Mumbai



shah123 1 / -  
Jan 4, 2015   #1
Instructions
Please describe how your personal background and experiences inform your decision to pursue a graduate degree. In this section, you may also include any relevant information on how you have overcome barriers to access higher education, evidence of how you have come to understand the barriers faced by others, evidence of your academic service to advance equitable access to higher education for women, racial minorities, and individuals from other groups that have been historically underrepresented in higher education, evidence of your research focusing on underserved populations or related issues of inequality, or evidence of your leadership among such groups.

The Personal History Statement is required for all applicants. Please note that the Personal History Statement should not duplicate the Statement of Purpose.

Personal History Statement v1.0

I was fortunate to have a highly educated and financially sound family background which enabled great education. But to see the enormous socio-economic divide I didn't have to go very far from home - Mumbai - which is a city that boasts of hosting country's richest business tycoon and is also home to Asia's largest slum - Dharavi. I always get an unsettling feeling of anomaly when I see ostentatious luxury cars buzzing the streets - the same streets having pavements filled with slum dwellers who struggle with even basic sanitation facilities.

I bear a huge obligation towards the society, because a large part of IIT campus is funded by the government which is directly the tax payers money - on which every citizen should have equal right. I recall the pinching feeling I got as I got world class education facilities, while several in adjoining villages couldn't even afford college education for several reasons. I participated in the Opportunity College program as a tutor. For one year I spent 6 hours per week, I designed curriculum and taught vocational subjects in basic computers and arithmetic to underprivileged high school youth. At the end of the year, 11 students from my classroom qualified in the job placement exam to secure decent jobs. As small as the contribution may be in the bigger scheme of things, it makes my very proud that I was able to transform the lives of not just these 11 students but also their dependants back home, and their future generations.

It is believed that business aptitude runs in the blood line of Gujarati community, and I feel I totally belong. I derive my hard working genes from my father who is a tech-entrepreneur and before that his father who first migrated to Mumbai as a textile merchant. Indeed, my father is a big source of my inspiration. Our dinner table discussions at home are frequently filled with engaging talks about technological innovations and business ideas. During my 6th and 7th semesters, my father's illness added responsibilities at home and I had to skip several classes. Thus my academic performance took a severe plunge and I faced backlogs in two courses. However, it gave me more motivation to work hard and by taking extra summer courses I not only cleared my backlogs to finish my degree within the stipulated time frame, but also managed to restore my GPA to a respectable level. While it still doesn't reflect my fullest academic potential, I am proud that I was there to support my family when they needed me the most. I assure the admissions committee that I will achieve the best results from the academic curriculum of the program with my hard work and outstanding scholastic aptitude which is also evident from my GRE score of 333.

Recently, I volunteered for Youth Hostels Association of India, I lead groups trekkers into rural districts of the state as a part of an expedition to promote adventure and rural tourism. I got a chance to meet tribal clans who made some exquisite artifacts from highly skillful craftsmanship on bamboo and jute. A meeting with a local NGO revealed that there are numerous such clans each with unique craftsmanship which is passed on from generations to generations, is on the verge of extinction as they are struggling with poverty - and thus was born the plan leverage Web technologies to give them direct access to global markets. Alas, it got stalled amidst the rat race for career, and lack motivated team, and mentorship.

I strongly believe, the environment at UC Berkeley will enable me to revive this plan. While doing research about the program on I-School website, I was delighted to find the outstanding work by Tapan Parikh and his research group in a similar domain with NGOs in rural upliftment. This gives me tremendous motivation to apply learnings from my diverse experience in startups to make the best out of access to faculty guidance from their rich experience, and find a like minded team of peers in order to jump start this initiative as a part of the MIMS final project.

And if things work out favourably, I dream to take it to a global level to create an organization which is not just worth millions of dollars but also worth millions of blessings. I know, I sound overly ambitious, but I like to live by the motto - "Aim for the moon, so that even if you miss you land among the stars". The launch pad of UC Berkeley is best suited for me - because its brand reputation, vast alumni network and location in the vibrant Bay area and much more that will open crucial doors to get me opportunities to reach the top.

-------------------End of Personal History Statement v1.0-----------------------

vangiespen - / 4077  
Jan 4, 2015   #2
Kindly review your essay and rephrase all of your sentences that begin with the word "And" as that is not academically acceptable and is considered and incorrect sentence structure. The major content of your essay properly addresses the prompt requirements and needs only very minor revisions to the grammar and sentence structure problems, which can wait until the final content of the essay is achieved. Since the prompt does not ask you to relate your life experiences with your planned course of studies, there is no need for you to make that connection in the essay. Only offer answers to questions being asked. Don't try to make connections with the university profile where it is not required because it diverts attention from the essence of your response. Stick to enhancing your response based upon the prompt requirements alone. I suggest that you write a totally new concluding paragraph that better suits a final response to the prompt.


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