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'singing and photography' - SOP: Describe your motivation for pursuing a master's degree.



Hlx 2 / 3  
Dec 20, 2018   #1
Essay :

Describe your motivation for pursuing a master's degree

. (within 500 words)

What have you done in your academic/professional/personal life that has prepared you for this degree?
If your undergraduate major is different from the graduate degree you are seeking, please explain how you became interested in this field and why you would like to pursue it now in your educational career.


How does this master's degree fit in with your short and long term career goals?
In what way will you contribute to the fabric of the Weatherhead culture?
Feel free to share anything else that we should know about you or any concerns you might have about your application that might not otherwise have been addressed.


Since my graduation from xx University, I have been working at xx Co., Ltd. as a civil engineer. During the project management process, I have often encountered problems; for instance, it may take several days for a secretary to look up paper documents and chat records to issue a analysis report of process problems, and there is no guarantee of accuracy. Puzzled by the chaotic on-site management, I often wondered: Why are we still stuck in the mire of trivial information? Nowadays, faced with the task of analyzing huge amounts of data, relying solely on manual statistics will undoubtedly reduce the efficiency of management. I recognized the necessity of establishing a data collection platform, making full use of data processing and visualization tools to liberate managers' energy from tedious work.

While working at xx, I deeply participated in the establishment of the 'Ingenuity' information management platform, which was designed to solve the aforementioned problems. Before the platform was implemented, I worked with the technical development team to complete the functional modules design of the system, and we finally devised five major functions, such as problem reporting and progress acceptance. Besides, we established five project models with refined management requirements. I also participated in the process optimization of the platform. I omitted the redundant processes of acceptance, checks, and settlement; consequently, the workflow was reduced from 18 steps to 12 steps, greatly improving operational efficiency. In addition, I was responsible for the construction progress analysis by using Excel and Tableau software in monthly business meetings.

Throughout this process, I became convinced of the indispensable role of data management and analysis tools for project management. The Ingenuity data platform established a bridge of information exchange among managers, constructors, and other relevant parties, which further realizes flat management and greatly improves efficiency. Besides, the project management charts made by Excel and Tableau embody the management content concisely and in more detail. In addition, the unified data enables the traceability analysis of the whole management process to be realized, and the effective information extracted from the original data can also support multi-dimensional business statistical analysis based on schedule, project, and individual, providing credible reference for management decisions.

In the future, I hope to truly contribute to the transformation and upgrading of traditional industries such as real estate. My career goal is to join a technical development team to help companies establish their own information management system. By devising a functional frame and establishing data models, I will help companies process their own data acquisition tools. Meanwhile, I will also provide companies with precisely tailored project management advice, including process management and construction cost optimization, to further improve project quality and management efficiency.

Weatherhead's excellent reputation and uniqueness strongly attracts me. The 16-month program provides an opportunity to immerse myself in American culture and build up my network. In addition, expansive courses ranging from operations analytics to data mining, will equip me with solid quantitative skills. I'm also intrigued by the program's practicum and career advising services, which would help me to get exposure to the real industry and sharpen my professional skills.

Accumulated experience in research and work has equipped me with a practical sense in teamwork and communication ability, and has trained me to be results-oriented and mission-accomplished. In addition, my expertise art skills in singing and photography will definitely active the whole team. I thus sincerely hope that you can grant me an opportunity to join your graduate program.

I have few questions about the SOP:
(1) Did I response the response properly? What contents should I supplement?
(2) Is the proportion of every part reasonable? At present, I mainly stress my motivation to this program. I am afraid of the reponse of the final question " My contribution to Weatherhead culture" is too little.

(3)Considering that this essay is beyond the word limitation, which part do you think I should cut off?
Thank you so much for your sincere suggestions!! Much appreciate!!!

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Dec 21, 2018   #2
Hlx, you should connect your interest in the masters course as it relates to your worksite problems. Rather than telling a story as you did at the start of the essay, talk of your frustration instead that led to your desire to fix the situation. Then explain how you think that the course the university offers will help you resolve it. By addressing the way that your profession has prepared you for this career, you also respond to what you can contribute to the Weatherhead culture.

I don't really feel a sense of the fit that the MS course will have with your career plans because you have not picked out specific elements of the learning program to help address your professional goals. I more appropriate presentation that you can use is something like the following:

As a graduate student who will be equipped with the ability to... I plan to implement these newly learned skills in the short term by... These skills should continue to evolve in both theoretical and practical approach as I apply these learnings and skills to my long term goal of...

You need more specifics in this essay. References to useful skills that have prepared you to take on this course must be made in a course, training program, or internship basis. Meaning that whatever skills you have developed during your professional time must reflect a usefulness in the course curriculum or practical applications if it should be required of you to do so.

Your reference to Weatherly references what you hope to achieve, but not what you hope to contribute to the student community or the learning process. That means you haven't correctly responded to that prompt requirement in the essay. You have to add that part. To meet the word requirement, try to compress the first 3 paragraphs worth of information into one content expanded but word limited paragraph. If you come it at 225 words, you will be all set with your response.


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