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SOP for ms in petroleum, help in improving this essay



sanjeev007 1 / 1  
Oct 24, 2016   #1
To be an engineer in oil and gas sector has been my dream from childhood, right from 10 years old. At that time my family had three tractors in a developing town where we live. The only source of income for my family is by using those tractors for work. My father gave me a mundane task of which everyday morning I go to the gas station with the tractors to make them full tank. We had only one gas station in my town. Most of the time it will be rushed and busy. At that time my only goal was to own a gas station as it has diesel, petrol which have full demand. Later I got to know that engineers are responsible for making these crude oil products available for the people and I also experienced how these uses of oil transformed my town and how it helped to develop the infrastructure of the town and changed the way of life of people live in it. Right, then I realized and decided to be an engineer in the oil sector.

For that, I came to know the important subjects to that sector and worked hard to earn good grades in those subjects. And In my secondary education, I selected mathematics, physics, and chemistry as my elective subjects. I worked hard in those two years of my secondary education to get great grades in my core subjects. As it is I got 98.7% of my elective subjects and in which I scored full marks in my favorite subject mathematics and missed one mark for full score in chemistry.

Later, for many personal factors, I was forced to take mechanical engineering instead looking for petroleum. But after two years of under graduation, I made a decision at least, I should definitely do my higher education in the oil sector. I worked hard in my four years of my under graduation to keep up high grades in core subjects. For which university awarded me scholarship every year. I tried to associate with any projects that relate to oil and gas in our university during my under graduation. But, I never obtained any opportunities. But I involved in many projects of our department and published three journals of my three projects.

And my whole education been theoretical I never felt it complete in the process of learning. My mind will always feel full of doubts. From my childhood, I am Afraid of English subjects as I will forget grammar rules always because I still not found a right way to learn and master it. My long time wish is to learn education by practicality and research. Your university motto is hands-on education which means nurturing education through practically is an excellent way to get educated. I am so much interested in involving and doing researches in core subjects. And I have come to know that your university has high research programs in petroleum engineering it will be so much helpful for my career.

I am assuring you that I make the opportunity more valuable if I get a chance. I will give my full hard work to make your decision more valuable and fruitful. It will be so grateful if I get an opportunity to make my dream come true with your help and guidance.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15407  
Oct 24, 2016   #2
Sanjeeve, I'd like to discuss the content of your essay before anything else. I would like you to concentrate on improving the relevance of your essay before yo move on to the problem of grammar. Your opening statement was excellent. It stated the motivating factor that led you to wish to pursue a desire to become a petroleum engineer. However, your next few paragraphs lost its way and did not follow up on the strength of the opening paragraph.

As indicated by the title of the essay, this is a statement of purpose. Therefore, instead of discussing your academics in the succeeding paragraphs, you should have further discussed the purpose of your desire to study in this field. Aside from your childhood dream of wishing to own a gas station, how has your desire or plans changed at the moment? Surely you have higher ambitions and plans for yourself which have set the tone for your desire to study an MS in this field. Why don't you make those intentions clearer? Tell the reviewer what your career plan is for the short term. Talk about your professional accomplishments and how these relate to your future career path. These discussions all add up to a relevant discussion of your purpose for enrolling in an MS course in Petroleum Engineering.

Your story about what you studied in college and your personal problems do not have a direct relation to your purpose for enrolling in this MS course. So I would limit the exposure of those pieces of information to almost zero in this paper. It does not really explain why you would be so fixated on completing this MS course. Talk more about your professional life and your career opportunities that will be opened up to you once you complete this course instead.
OP sanjeev007 1 / 1  
Oct 24, 2016   #3
thank you very much. I will work on it. I will post it later.


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