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"sound knowledge, experience, and maturity" - physician assistant personal statement



emismom11 1 / -  
May 5, 2011   #1
I have been in the processing of writing my personal statement for the last week, but I think I have hit a point that I am confused about the direction I want/need to take my essay. I am posting what I have thus far. I dont really have anyone close to me to bounce ideas off of, so I welcome the input. Thanx!!

When I was five, I was asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" in which I promptly responded, "An alligator skinner!" My inspiration: National Geographic Channel's glorification of hunting large reptiles. As I recall this memory, I vaguely remember the conviction and dedication with which I declared my professional aspiration. I may not have responded with such vehement desire if I knew then what I know now, but at that point, it was the "coolest job" I had been exposed to, albeit through a television. Fast forward about 20 years, through high school, college, military service, and motherhood, I am again asked the same question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" This time, I answer with the same enthusiasm, but from the perspective of a woman with sound knowledge, experience, and maturity; I want to be a physician assistant.

I chose to serve in the US Army as a 68WM6, which, in the civilian terms, is a Licensed Practical Nurse (LPN). After successfully completing this training in the top 20% of my class, I was stationed in Seoul, South Korea at 121st Combat Support Hospital, which is now known as Brian Allgood Army Community Hospital. Initially, I was placed in the OB/GYN clinic for 6 months, and then transferred to the Women Infant Care Unit (WICU), a labor, delivery, recovery, and postpartum ward, as a staff LPN for just under two years.

This is where I am stuck, and I am not really sure I even like the second paragraph at all. I am trying to come up with a way to use my experience in Korea as an LPN and soldier as qualifying my ability to be a PA.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
May 7, 2011   #2
Welcome to the forum, Denise! Thanks for letting us participate in your process.

When I was five, I was asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" in to which I promptly responded, "An alligator skinner!" My inspiration: National Geographic Channel's glorification of ...

Use a colon:
experience, and maturity: I want to be a physician assistant.

I chose to serve in the US Army as a 68WM6, which, in the civilian terms, is a Licensed Practical Nurse (LPN), because ________________ (End this sentence with an observation that helps to express the main idea -- the idea that makes you want to be a PA.

...and postpartum ward, as a staff LPN for just under two years. ---And again at the end here, say something to show how thiinfo serves as evidence to support your main assertion, which is that you are going to make a meaningful difference as a PA, your career of choice.

Know what I mean? As you write, stay focused on one big message. What is the message? Can you make it memorable and interesting while still asserting your seriousness about this profession?

What is your theme, your memorable theme?

:-) Try to enjoy it! You write well.


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