'when I started doing CrossFit' - PTCAS physical therapy school personal statement

Currently applying to Doctor of Physical Therapy programs! Any help with my essay would be appreciated. Thanks in advance

Essay Prompt: Describe your decision making process in choosing physical therapy as a career choice versus other health care careers

I knew I wanted to go into healthcare, but which profession? My entire immediate family is in the medical field, so I reached out to their co-workers to talk about their jobs. I considered everything from physician's assistant, to chiropractor, to pharmacist, or even physician. In the end, though, the field of physical therapy brought together all the qualities I was looking for in my career. It combines my love of teaching, my fascination with the study of movement, and my desire to help others overcome challenges.

I first became interested in physical therapy as a profession after I started doing CrossFit. CrossFit is an exercise program that is based on workouts that consist of constantly varied, high intensity, functional movements, including Olympic lifts, sprints, bodyweight exercises, rowing, gymnastics training, and more. As I started practicing these diverse exercises, I realized that I was learning a lot about the complexities of human movement. I had some dysfunctional motor patterns that needed correcting in order to complete some of the exercises effectively. As I worked through these problems with trained exercise professionals, I started thinking back to what I had learned in previous anatomy courses about the body's form as it relates to function. I was fascinated with the realization that these small motor problems can often lead to major injuries. Moreover, I saw firsthand how these motor patterns can be retrained, leading to huge gains in stability, performance, and pain-free range of motion. Throughout my CrossFit experience, I jumped at the opportunity to impart the knowledge I had gained to a newcomer. Not only could I help improve their training, but also to prevent them from future injury. I was learning how to move properly, helping others learn to do the same, and loving it. I knew that teaching others how to improve themselves had to be a major part of my future career.

Having come to this decision, I jumped at the opportunity to complete a 150 hour internship at an outpatient clinic. While I could not perform any treatment, I was able to observe many different types of patients, injuries, modalities, and styles of communication. I remember one patient who was unable to walk due to a traumatic hip injury. Not only was she injured physically, but also psychologically due to her loss of mobility, independence, and ability to work. This patient made a fantastic recovery by the end of my internship. A lot of credit goes to the patient for putting in the work, but I saw how her recovery was made possible by the coordination and skill of this team of professionals. There were definitely setbacks, but the physical therapist provided help and support when the patient struggled. When I think of the adversity I have faced in my life, I am forever grateful to those who provided aid and comfort I needed to overcome obstacles. The satisfaction of providing this service to patients is one of the major reasons I have chosen pursue the study of physical therapy. My internship experience reaffirmed my decision to pursue physical therapy

When I think of the qualities that I admire in a professional, the words accountable, responsible, compassionate, kind, knowledgeable, sociable, and patient come to mind. These traits are apparent with every physical therapist I have shadowed. I try to demonstrate these qualities through my actions. By volunteering since 2010 at an organization that sorts medical supplies for third world countries, I show kindness and responsibility. By volunteering to help hospice patients, I display compassion, sociability, and patience. By excelling in the classroom, I demonstrate knowledge and accountability. For these reasons, I believe my personal values, goals, and interests fit best with a career in physical therapy.

Your introduction is too informal. Your concept for the introduction is good, however more detail of why you didnt chose another profession or do a brief comparison between PT and other health care professions would be more powerful and interesting to read. Your two middle passages are excellent!! They give outstanding details of why you chosed PT as your desire profession and also the influences that continue you to be motivated about PT. Your conclusion is a little "bland". You should reiterate what you said from the intro into your conclusion to give a cohensive effect. Also, using less characteristics in the first sentence in the conclusion. Hopefully, I shined a little light on your paper. Good Luck!!

Thanks for the thoughts. Here is my latest edit, which has many changes! 3850 characters with spaces.

As I contemplated my future career path, I sought out family and friends in the medical field to gain insight into their professions. I considered everything from physician's assistant, to chiropractor, to pharmacist, or even physician. In the end, though, the field of physical therapy brought together all the qualities I was looking for in my career. It combines my love of teaching, my fascination with the study of movement, and my desire to help others overcome challenges.

I first became interested in physical therapy as a profession after I started doing CrossFit. CrossFit is an exercise program that is based on workouts that consist of constantly varied, high intensity, functional movements, including Olympic lifts, sprints, bodyweight exercises, and much more. As I started practicing these diverse exercises, I realized that I was learning a lot about the complexities of human movement. I had some dysfunctional motor patterns that needed correcting in order to complete some of the exercises effectively. As I worked through these problems with trained exercise professionals, I started thinking back to what I had learned in previous anatomy courses about the body's form as it relates to function. I was fascinated with the realization that these small motor problems can often lead to major injuries. Moreover, I saw firsthand how these motor patterns can be retrained, leading to huge gains in stability, performance, and pain-free range of motion. During my CrossFit training, I had the opportunity to impart the knowledge I had gained to newcomers. One of my training partners was having a particularly hard time with his receiving position for the Olympic clean. His shoulders often fell forward in an unsafe position, causing him to miss lifts. I enjoyed explaining to him why this position was unstable, and later we worked on cues to reinforce a stable position for this exercise (shoulders back, elbows up). Not only did I help improve my friend's training, I also helped prevent him from future injury. I was learning how to move properly, helping others to do the same, and loving it. I knew that teaching others how to improve themselves had to be a major part of my future career.

During the summer of 2011, I secured the opportunity to complete a 150 hour internship at an outpatient physical therapy clinic. While I could not perform any treatment, I was able to observe many different types of patients, injuries, treatment modalities, and styles of communication. I remember one patient who was unable to walk due to a traumatic hip injury. Not only was she injured physically, but also psychologically due to her loss of mobility, independence, and ability to work. This patient made a fantastic recovery by the end of the summer. A lot of credit goes to the patient for putting in the work, but I saw how her recovery was made possible by the coordination and skill of this team of professionals. There were definitely setbacks, but the physical therapist always gave help and support when the patient struggled. The satisfaction of providing patients with the aid and comfort needed to overcome obstacles is one of the major reasons I have chosen pursue the study of physical therapy.

My internship introduced me to several skilled clinicians upon whom I model my image of the professional physical therapist. They showed compassion, patience, and social responsibility. Through my volunteer work sorting medical supplies for third world countries, I was already expressing these qualities in my own life. The fact that my personal values match those of a professional physical therapist finalized my decision to pursue this career. While other healthcare professions would also satisfy my desire to teach and help others, physical therapy best incorporates my interest in human movement, goals, and values.

Your essay is well written! However, I do have some advice. Re-read the question. Why are you choosing physical therapy OVER other health care careers? You explained how you came to the decision of wanting to become a PT but you have not explained why it is a "better" career versus a radiologist, a pharmacist or other other care professions. What is it about PT that makes you want to do it? Think about the variety of settings/patients, economic future, etc.

Good luck!