Personal Statement for Physical Therapy - PTCAS

Hello! This is my first time writing a personal statement! I've written the introduction paragraph and it is VERY rough, but am unsure of how it is progressing as well as how to go about the rest of the essay. Any advice on what to change, what to add, as well as how to go about the remainder of the essay would be very much appreciated!

The prompt is: "Describe your decision making process in choosing physical therapy as a career choice versus other health care careers."
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Evan was like any other vivacious and carefree three-year-old boy until he fell off the ladder of a jungle gym and hit his head. He received stitches to his forehead and underwent a rudimentary MRI scan. However, what was believed to be a precautionary MRI scan revealed something daunting and life changing - a malignant brain tumor in Evan's cerebellum, the area of the brain that controls movement and balance. Evan soon went through many surgeries to remove the tumor and although he was cancer-free, Evan was left without motor skills. He lost his ability to navigate the world ahead of him.

I met Evan while volunteering on the Pediatric Therapy department at the Queen of the Valley and it was Evan that cemented my decision in choosing physical therapy. I always knew that I wanted to work in Pediatrics and change lives, but what did this mean? It's such a cliché and abstract concept.

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What I'm trying to get across in my personal statement is that it is children like "Evan" (name changed) that make want to be a PT and give meaning to the cliche statement of changing lives and making a difference. Children who suffer from debilitating conditions have so much taken away from them and through physical therapy, they are given the opportunity to be like any other kid. Why I want to become is a PT is to give this opportunity to them because seeing them progress over time is one of the most rewarding things I've ever experienced, even if it's just been through volunteering and shadowing!

The angle of approach is a good, however since its a rough u need to edit it and make the statement much more personal.