Personal Statement - Erasmus Mundus Tourism Development & Culture

the world is there to explore

Hi there! I am in need of a bit of advice when it comes to my personal statement for the Erasmus Master Tourism Development & Culture.

The criteria:
Please be as precise as you can when writing your Supporting Personal Statement. Do not repeat yourself and do not exceed the word limit. You should make sure that you address the following issues in your personal statement:

400 words

·You should outline your motivation for choosing the TourDC programme (i.e. how it complements and develops your previous studies; how it relates to your career path; how it relates to your personal and academic interests).

·Explain why you think you are a good candidate for the programme given your previous studies and the courses offered on the programme in both years.

·You should highlight your participation in conferences, internships, non-governmental organisations, summer schools, and other activities connected to the area of tourism development and culture.
·Explain why you think you should be considered for a scholarship.

My personal statement:
Along with many others, I believe the world is there to explore. A never ending project of finding new places and discovering the beauty of each own's country and culture. This is one of the thoughts that led me to the MA Tourism Development & Culture.

During my previous studies International Food Business I got to be a travelling student. Throughout the four years I have had the change to broaden my international perception by studying in the Netherlands, Iceland, Belgium and Canada. Although I do not have a bachelor in Tourism, my undergraduate courses all had an international perspective. The course 'Intercultural Communication' taught me how to communicate on personal, academic and business level with cultures all over the world. As part of the international food industry, gastronomic tourism is a trend that cannot be ignored. Comparing the tourism numbers between European countries based on the gastronomic culture was one of my projects during the course 'Quantitative Research in the European Food Business'. The outcome is that gastronomic tourism varies per country because of cultural traditions and could be linked to the course 'Traditions and the tourism product' given at the University of Malta.

Overall my previous study included a sustainability aspect to every course where possible. Whether it is about sustainable food production or being a sustainable tourist, it is a topic that I believe is yet to be discovered. I am currently at a stage where I am very aware of what we ask the world to do for us, but I am also aware of the fact that there is so much more to learn when is comes to sustainable development in tourism.

During my year as member of the International society of the University I helped organising trips all around Europe for the international students from all over the world. These trips included visiting heritage sites, museums, local breweries or distilleries and many more.

Furthermore I experienced the effects of tourism during my travels to Canada and Australia. Being a working holiday tourist I enjoyed seeing al the famous spots of the country. However, I was aware of the effect of tourism on a local scale. I participated in beach clean ups and attended local conferences about sustainability and tourism during my stays abroad.

By choosing this program I hope to contribute to a sustainable way of exploring the world to create the best experience for both the travellers and the world around them.

Thanks a lot!

@LoyceVeenings
Welcome to the forum! I hope my feedback gives you insight on how to improve your writing.

While I think that it's great that you wanted to be more creative in the first paragraph, it still lacks that standard introduction into what you are applying for. You only mentioned that you're being led to the MA program for tourism; however, you weren't clear (only introduced it midway) where exactly you are applying for. All these specifics are imperative when we're discussing technical content, considering the fact that you need to show that you're serious about your application.

Your writing also appears to be a bit cluttered - there's no apparent structure that would tell the readers anything about the writing. I would rather that you try your best to incorporate a more structured/organized appeal. You can either (a) focus on the values that you bring forward as a student or (b) focus on your experiences and (very) specific skill sets that come with these. What you currently have is that you're jumping from values to experiences without having an organic transition. Be extra cautious of your management of data.

@Maria
Thank you for giving me feedback. So mainly I will focus on putting the information in a logical order.
As it can only be 400 words long, would you recommend skipping some information or do you believe that the actual information matches the guidelines?

it is never easy thinking and writing convincing essays.

You haven't stated why you should be considered for the programme from the look of things. What do you intend to do really?
You should try as much as possible to pay attention to your use of punctuation marks.