Personal Statement for Physician Assistant (what motivates me)

I have to write my personal statement on what motivates me to become a physician assistant. Please take time to read this and rate my essay. Please give me suggestions if you believe I should change it. Thanks

If I was asked the question what profession would I choose if I had the ability to be anything, my answer would be a physician. Not only because it is a respectful profession in any culture, but also because it provides the opportunity for an individual to serve and care for humanity. Because of my position and culture, it is difficult for me to pursue this career. I would have to live away from family, and this is not acceptable for me, and I have to worry about paying for medical school. Having in mind these obstacles, I decided to pursue the path of physician assistant. It is profession that would provide me with opportunities to help and ...

after edits:

"Safia Bibi," called out the medical assistant, and I took my gaze off the anatomy book I was reading, and got ready to walk with my aunt to the back office. We were called after spending three hours in the hallway transformed into a waiting area. This was the free clinic in our area, and I accompanied my aunt as interpreter. The medical assistant took the vitals and asked the necessary questions and sent to us to wait in the exam room. This was where I was introduced to my destiny. To my surprise, the provider was a physician assistant. This was something that I was hearing for the first time in my life .He asked my aunt about symptoms, and I interpreted that she was feeling dizzy and has headaches. At first, he said that he cannot understand what could be wrong. Then, a thought came to my mind, and I mentioned that my aunt is having personal problems at home. At that moment, he said that now he understands. He told us that these symptoms are caused by depression. I felt so good that I was able to help my both my aunt and the physician assistant. He gave us medication from the clinic and informed us how to take them. After leaving the clinic that day, I had an urge to research about becoming a physician assistant and realized that this is what I want to do in my life. After that day, I developed the desire to be a physician assistant to help the minority in my community, learn about medicine, and be close to God

I have been taking my relatives to the free clinic as an interpreter, and have gained valuable knowledge. My second aunt has high blood pressure, and I took her to the same clinic. One day, the provider wrote her a prescription and did not specify what form it is. It was metoprolol and the provider had to specify ER or tartate. Because of this reason, the pharmacy did not give us the medication, until they contacted the provider and learned the specific form of metoprolol, and she had to suffer for this reason. She started having chest pains, and went to the emergency room, because her blood pressure went out of control. This event instilled in me the feeling of how serious the profession of a physician assistant is. I realized a great lesson from this. It is very important to perform the work with attentiveness and excellence.

The curiosity of human creation is one of the reasons that I choose to study medicine. I have fallen in love with this subject while taking biology courses, because it unveils some of the secrets of human creation. I can spend hours reading about this subject and not feel tired. As being health conscience, I spend time reading about nutrition to maintain good health. When I hear about a disease or illness, I research it and read about it to expand my knowledge. I do not know if my passion to help others leads to this, or if it is an innate trait that I was born with. But, I do know that this is the career for me and this is what I want to do. Not only do I have a passion for learning, but also I am a perfectionist. I speak very little, and find comfort in writing. I am able to express myself better in writing. I only speak and act when I know that what I say and do is the truth. I am hoping that this will help me to be a great physician assistant, because I will learn the material perfectly, and not act unless I will be sure that I know what I am doing. My goal will be to perform the duties perfectly and attentively.

I want to follow a good path and be close to God. Currently, I volunteer at an adult day care center in my community. I believe helping the elderly is one of the best deeds to perform. For me, it is a piece of a puzzle that I need in order to complete myself. Through helping them, I will learn the compassion and patience needed to be a great physician assistant. By realizing that everyone's end will be the same, that we all will one day reach the frail age and leave everything behind, gives me reason to do what is best for my soul and religion. It is believed in my religion that removing a hardship from a human helps in removing the hardships of the hereafter. In my case, I will be rewarded for removing the agony of a patient by treating the illness. In the future when my financial status allows, I aspire to provide care to the needy in my home country. This will help me feel bliss that cannot be felt by worldly material.

The responsibility of this profession is great, for the health of a human is in one's hands. Not only is it a highly valued career in any culture, but also it is religiously honored. Being religious, I would not only be serving humanity, but also serving God, for this profession is rewarded in my religion, especially when care is provided for the needy. It will be my honor complete this program at your institution, and hope I will be given this privilege.

This first sentence uses too many words to make a simple statement.
If I was asked the question what profession would I choose i If I had the ability to be anything, I would my answer would be a physician.

I need to add a verb to this sentence:
I choose to enter the field of medicine not only because it is a respectful profession in any culture, but also because it ...

...to pursue the path of becoming a physician's assistant.

It is profession that would provide me with opportunities to help and serve others while working under the supervision of a physician. ------- very good sentence

Here is another idea:
I would gain valuable experience about diagnosing illnesses and counseling patients, and possibly in the future if I move with my family to Sacramento and have means of supporting myself, I could receive my Bachelors degree and further my education until I get my white coat. to becoming a physician.

I think this plan for the future is very impressive. You can go to medical school! Sometimes it takes people 15 years to complete all the classes when life gets in the way, but that is okay!! What kind of medicine most interests you?

You already used "provide me with," so I'll change to "bring":
This career will provide me with bring knowledge about medicine, and I will have some functions similar to a physician. It will be a ...

It will be an honor for me to complete this program at your institution, and I hope I will be given this privilege.

What if you use-: being away from my family was unbarable to me (instead of unacceptable).I geuss,It shows that you want to persue your goals,yet you can not be far away from your loved ones... It's Good in anyway depending on what you meant.

I understand your logic of pursuing the "next-best-thing" to medical school, but I think you are making a big mistake by sharing this in your essay. If you were on a PA school admissions committee, a proud physician assistant (and possibly an instructor of physician assistants) would you want to read an essay that says, essentially, "What I really want is to be a doctor, but since I can't, I'll settle for PA?" Clearly, no. Some would be very turned off by this enough to cross your name off the interview list right there.

What I would want to see is someone who more than anything wants to be a PA, understands the profession, and passionately feels that it is the right choice for them. In short, what you've written may may speak your truth, but I don't think it's putting your best foot forward.

The other bit of feedback I have for you is to include some specifics about yourself (work you've done, volunteering, hobbies, etc.) that speak to why you would be a good candidate for PA school. They ask what motivates you, but that's more than just "why." It's also (I assume) the question of why do you think you would be a good fit for this?

Good luck.

Paul this is a very interesting discussion you gave here. Thanks, we are lucky to have you participating.

I have mixed feelings about this issue. You say it is like a lack of resolve to settle for less than what you really want, but... it seems to me that someone interested in medicine is interested in being a physician.. that being a physician is like the epitome of wanting to be involved in medicine... so... I understand what you mean, but I wonder if I would really be turned off by this next-best-thing approach. After all, a very prevalent category of people who are P.A.s is represented by those who ultimitely want to be physicians.

So, do you know what I mean? I think it is an admirable thing to want to be a P.A. as part of a process toward having that white coat.