Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Graduate   % width   Posts: 4


'technical responsibilities in military' Statement of Purpose - GT Grad School Essay



brandongroff 1 / 1  
Sep 8, 2009   #1
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE The applicant must clearly indicate the reasons for wishing to study in this program at Georgia Tech as opposed to some other program or university. The biography should describe the applicant's academic background, training and experience and should mention honors, memberships, and extracurricular activities. Special areas of research or interest should be discussed. Please be concise and specific in your response. Your space is limited to 4000 characters.

My essay:

"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are." Bernice Johnson Reagon has concisely summed up my reasons for attending graduate school at Georgia Tech. During the past 8 years of my adult life, the experiences and challenges I faced have taught me how resilient and capable I am. I have realized that I thrive on learning how things work, especially computers.

I have experienced much since my graduation from high school in 2001. I joined the U.S. Army Signal Corps where I graduated as Distinguished Honor Graduate of both the satellite communications school and the Primary Leadership and Development Course. I served two tours in Iraq, including the invasion with 101st Airborne Division. The experience taught me greatly about myself and of what I am capable when necessary. I was put in charge of a remote satellite communications terminal in northern Iraq after only 2 years in the Army. I was consistently promoted ahead of my peers and was responsible for another remote team of soldiers in southern Iraq during my second tour. I was promoted to Staff Sergeant after little more than 4 years in the Army and discharged honorably after 7 years service.

My technical responsibilities in the military revolved around RF communications and networking, which I found extremely interesting. Although this provided a good background for me, I realized that I would rather design the equipment and explore the theories I used. Thus after leaving the military, my search for a top engineering school brought me to Georgia Tech, where I was again pushed to test my capabilities and knowledge.

I joined the Georgia Tech Savannah Robotics team (GTSR) and aided in the design and build of GTS-ROV alpha. I was the sole software designer on the project. In June of 2009 our remotely-operated vehicle won the award for Design Elegance at the MATE ROV International Competition. The work and experience I gained through this continued project helped me to realize my interests in robotics, computer architecture, and software engineering; these are my intended focal points for graduate school. I feel further knowledge in these areas will not only complement one another well, but also feed my interests.

My purpose in seeking an advanced degree is to further my knowledge in computer architecture and algorithms, especially embedded architectures and software autonomy used in robotic applications. Advanced knowledge in software engineering is also necessary in order to build efficient architectures capable of pushing the limits of embedded computing. After graduation I hope to be able to contribute to advancing the progress of embedded computer architectures or work with autonomous systems development.

My other extracurricular interests are scuba diving, which I did for the robotics team to record video of our ROV. I currently hold multiple certifications and hope to be a certified divemaster by next summer. I also enjoy riding my motorcycle, spending time volunteering as a big brother with my 9-year-old "little brother", and traveling anywhere new.

Because of my undergraduate experience at Georgia Tech, I have learned the excellence demanded of its students. However, as graduation nears I realize that I am not quite ready to stop my formal education, and desire to learn more in the university environment. I wish to further my studies at Georgia Tech so I may continue to work with the Georgia Tech Savannah Robotics team as a graduate student, advance my education at one of the greatest engineering schools in the world, and because I greatly enjoy being a Yellow Jacket!

I am having trouble concluding this essay and not sure where to go from here. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

saurabhjain162 2 / 4  
Sep 9, 2009   #2
Hi brandongroff

You can give following information in conclusion :

1)The direction I think my field will take and now my degree will qualify me to contribute.
2)Why I feel I can contribute to this field.
3)Why I feel I can contribute to this program.
4)Your long term goals
OP brandongroff 1 / 1  
Sep 16, 2009   #3
Please find an updated copy of my essay:

ANY suggestions or advice would be great. I'd rather you hurt my feelings than Georgia Tech :)
EF_Simone 2 / 1974  
Sep 16, 2009   #4
Wow, we don't see many robotics students quoting Bernice Johnson Reagon! You ought to get points just for that!

Now, down to the essay itself. I'd take out the parts about your little brother. That sort of thing is great for undergraduate applications but graduate school admissions committees aren't so much interested in having their heartstrings tugged. They want to know what skills and prior learning you'll be bringing to the program and what you're going to do with the degree. You've covered the first of those quite well, but I don't see anything about your purpose in seeking the advanced degree. What do you envision doing after graduate school? Replace the parts about your brother and your volunteer work with that.


Home / Graduate / 'technical responsibilities in military' Statement of Purpose - GT Grad School Essay
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳