I work as an electronics engineer and study in postgraduate courses; Statement of Objectives for PhD

Hi guys! Need help! My English is awefull so pls help me! =(

This is my Statement of Objectives for EPFL

To whom it may concern,

I work as an electronics engineer and study in postgraduate courses. As an engineer, I designed PCBs and software for microcontrollers (I worked with Atmel and STM). In my postgraduate courses, I research spark erosion.

Within my master's degree, I developed an ability to quickly learn new tools and technologies. This skill has proved very useful both at work (where I have successfully dealt with different ways of hardware and software development) both in academia (when I found myself developing various projects). Later, using the experience of this project, I created several commercially successful stand-alone devices for the transmission of information via GPRS.

In the fourth year of the university, I won a grant to the embodiment of my own project. Its essence was to create small compact devices with solar panel and a set of sensors. Devices were placed in the reserves and forests, through GPRS connection; they passed on information from the sensors and switches to a deep sleep.

On my postgraduate courses, I research the effect of spark erosion on the surface of the resistive film with prof. Leuhin. After spark trimming resistors, very difficult to determine the effect of the electric-discharge on the resistive surface. Unlike laser trimming, spark trimming does not leave any visible traces of impact. Moreover, these tracks are too inconspicuous. To determine this effect, we can measure the change in potential at the surface of the resistor. Then present the results in the form of equipotential lines. I have developed a device that is using stepper motors moves of the analyzed resistor. Probe connected to ADC measures the potential at each point on the surface of the resistor.

The matrix of the values obtained after the scan is converted into a graph of equipotential lines. By curve of the equipotential lines, we can determine the location of the impact and power and of its influence. I am an author of several science articles devoted spark trimming, automatic control and measurement.

I am interested in automatic control, microelectronics and nanoelectronics. I especially would like to do research aimed at helping people. I have a friend and he is almost blind, I met him when I was in the hospital with an eye injury. I was a student. I had the idea to make a device with an ultrasonic sensor and a vibration motor. Microcontroller using PWM managed vibration depending on the sensor. The device was cumbersome, but it could be placed in his hand. My friend could determine the distance to obstacles on the vibration intensity. He was happy with this device. Adjusting the sensitivity of the device, he could run. I was very impressed how such a simple device that is si much capable to improve the quality of a human life.

I am sincerely convinced that my skills and motivation can be extremely useful for the improvement of the life of others through research. I would like to take as much profit as possible from my further education in order to have the best possible impact in my future research activities.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

You have accomplished a lot. Let me suggest some changes.

Opening: To Whom It May Concern,

1st paragraph: Change to take postgraduate studies. Is Atmel and STM controllers? I don't quite understand why you put it in parenthesis.
I researched spark erosion.

2nd paragraph: While studying for my masters...Place the word "about" before new tools. The skills you used helped you at work and academically. You put parenthesis to describe other information which confused the information. If you want to use this information, you have to work on these sentences. Where did you use hardware, software development, and stand alone devices? This needs to be explained. Was it in school and at work? You need to prove how these skills proved to be successful to you both at work and academically. This will help to effectively explain your experiences.

3rd paragraph: In the opening sentence you want to use 'at the university". I'm unsure what you mean by embodiment. There are grants that help students with independent projects or research projects. This seems like you were involved in independent research.

4th paragraph: In the opening sentence changed to "researched" the effect...Professor should be capitalized and spelled. The discussion about sparking trimming is difficult to understand. I'm assuming you mean it was very difficult to determine the effect.

5th paragraph: I'm unsure if the first two sentences belong in a new paragraph (i.e. matrix values and equipotential lines). Also, make sure the last sentence starts a new paragraph. Also, you may want to address if you became an author when you began taking postgraduate classes. You did this when you mentioned in your post graduate studies and then you discussed what you accomplished. Also, you may want to discuss if automatic control and your other interest relate to what you want to study to get your PhD.

6th paragraph: Delete, "I was a student". The vibration motor and microcontroller seem to have a link. I would make this one sentence if it is linked. The next two sentences needed to be linked. Here is how you can state it: "The device was cumbersome, but it could be placed in his hand to determine the distance to obstacles on the vibration intensity." You want to state, ..."impressed with how such a simple device could..."

7th paragraph: You don't want to say profit at the end of this essay.

I hope this helps!