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'career in family medicine..' - help me check this sentence or re-write it


matt 1 / -  
Sep 11, 2015   #1
A few years after beginning my career in family medicine, because of lack of experiences in treating patients with mental illnesses that commonly seen in family practice, I worked as a psychiatric fellow for several years.
nicolleperez 1 / 2  
Sep 11, 2015   #2
Due to lack of experience in treating patients with mental illnesses, commonly seen in family practice, I worked as a psychiatric fellow for several years after beginning my career in family medicine.

You can choose to remove the ", commonly seen in family practice" it sounds good with or without it.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Sep 16, 2015   #3
- A few years after beginning my career in family medicine, because of lack of experiences in treating patients with mental illnesses that commonly seen in family practice, I worked as a psychiatric fellow for several years.

I'll try re-phrasing your sentence, I hope this helps;

Due to lack of experience in treating patients with mental illness which is seen in family practice, I worked as a psychiatric aid for several years setting aside my goal to become a family physician in order to gain the expertise needed for my practice.


I believe the only thing that made your sentence tricky is the input and the logical order of the phrases that make up your sentence, this is also influenced with the fact that you have the idea, however you are in doubt if this is the right order of the phrases in your sentence.

I wish you the best of luck in your practice.
Bayuwibowo 48 / 73 21  
Sep 16, 2015   #4
A few years after beginning my career in family medicine, because of lack of experiences in treating patients with mental illnesses that commonly seen in family practice, I worked as a psychiatric fellow for several years.

Let me try re paraphrasing..

I am working in psychiatric for several years just after finishing my career in family medicine. Due to lack of experiences in treating patients with mentality illnesses that commonly seen in family practice.
lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Sep 18, 2015   #5
Hello, I would like to help you with your sentence. I would like to give you another suggestion to help you.

First, I think you are trying to explain what occurred to the reader to avoid confusion. However, it would be more simple if you formed more than one sentence.

EX: "A few years after beginning my career in family medicine, because of lack of experiences in treating patients with mental illnesses that commonly seen in family practice, I worked as a psychiatric fellow for several years."

"When I started my career in medicine, I lacked experience to treat patients with mental illnesses that were commonly seen in family practice. As a result, a few year after beginning my career in family medicine, I worked as a psychiatric fellow for several years."

The sentence above tells your experience better. If you compare both sentences, you can see that the reader can easily understand that you lacked experienced then you began to gain experience.

I hope this helps!


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