On the fateful day....... / Question on sentence

Hey everyone, I'm in the process of writing an essay but I couldn't get around to improve this particular sentence. I think it sounds wordy and abstruse, but for the love of God I can't decide what to do with it. Should I split it to two sentences? Should I rephrase it? Thanks!

On the fateful day, I was busily traversing the virtual worlds in Isaac Asimov's I, Robot mini-series at my regular corner at the local library when I was jostled from my mesmerized state unceremoniously by a hoarse voice: "Please, can I have this book after you've finished with it?"

I don't think it sounds bad but I think it is a little too long. Maybe it would sound better if you split it in two at the point you say "library".

By the way i like that series too. ;)

Thanks for the input! I love that series to pieces.
I've toned it down to:

On the fateful day, I was busily traversing the virtual worlds in Isaac Asimov's I, Robot mini-series at the local library when I was jostled from my mesmerized state unceremoniously by a hoarse voice: "Please, can I have this book after you've finished with it?"

I'll try to split it into two sentences. Does the first sentence sound as it it's hanging? Also, I'm out of words to start sentence two xD.

On the fateful day, I was busily traversing the virtual worlds in Isaac Asimov's I, Robot mini-series at the local library. Suddenly, I was jostled from my mesmerized state unceremoniously by a hoarse voice: "Please, can I have this book after you've finished with it?"