SENTENCE PRACTICE: IS THERE ANY FAULTS?

SENTENCE PRACTICE

Those who are over-protected are the parents of the students, with the blind instinct love for their children, excess of thoughts that their kids are too fragile to meet the challenges and pushing them too much is what they are afraid most.

This piece of writing has several marked problems in its presentation.
1. The student tried to write a complex sentence but neglected to identify that there are several sentences in the presentation. Instead of complex sentences. The student created a run-on instead.

2. The student failed to represent proper tense usage in the presentation. Was the sentence to be written in the present, past, or future form? Proper time frame references for the words should have been used.

3.The writer should have identified the actual subject of the sentence. As a reader, I cannot be sure if the subject refers to the parents or the children.

4. The action words need to be used in the proper reference form. Is it over-protected or over protective? This relates back to the tense usage problem the student originally showed.

Sadly, I am not allowed to revise the sentences for you. I can only point out the errors you made in the writing of the passage. You should be able to identify and correct your errors personally, based upon the observations that I have indicated with regards to the errors in your writing. These 2 main observations should get you started on the right track with regards to correcting your presentation.