Tofel essay
I wonder if give me sop tips about my faults and errors.
Both of these styles of studying seem interesting, but when it comes to me, I prefer to study in a group instead of studying alone. Studying in a group has some merits like sharing ideas and knowledge, correcting faults, learning communication skills and also making a speech in front of others.
To begin with, I believe that studying in a group can lead me to learn better by sharing my knowledge and information with my colleagues. With no doubts, I consider only one aspect of scientific issues while my co-workers think about other aspects. Having considered so, all of us can take advantage of different thoughts and perspectives and broaden our horizons and mind about issues.
In view of the fact that I may misunderstand a problem or a topic while I study alone. By studying in a group, my friends administer help to me so as to remove and correct my errors. A few years ago, I thought the milky galaxy way is the only galaxy in the cosmos, but by arguing it in a group I lastly found out there are many other galaxy in cosmos.
Last but not least, studying in a group contributes me to improve my communication skills since I am made to communicate with my friends and workmates. Besides, I learn how to speak in front of others and by such work my confidence would be improved and prepare me to make a speech in conferences.
To sum up, I feel that learning in a group carries some advantages and benefits me in some ways. It enables me to establish close ties with my workmates and also learn a lot of things from them. So, I prefer to study in a group.
Your overall essay is good the message is on point. You need to correct some words that are used incorrectly and consider some minor revision....
"also making a speech in front of others." - Also peaking in front of others.... or speaking in front of a group. Making a speech is not used correctly in the sentence. - it is ok later in the essay.
learn better - learn more
To begin with,....Having considered so... In view of the fact ..Last but not least,.... overusing transitions is not good and sound pretentious, unless you actually speak like this I would consider making the tone more personal.
With no doubts, I consider only one aspect of scientific issues while my co-workers think about other aspects.---- No, doubt, I may consider only one aspect of a scientific issue while my co-workers think about other aspects. We all can take advantage of different thoughts and perspectives and broaden our horizons and mind about issues.
milky galaxy - Milky Way Galaxy
Last but not least, studying in a group contributes me --- motivates instead of contributes, contributes is not used correctly.
What's the purpose of this writing? IELTS or TOEFL?
In any case, I think your introduction is not powerful. You need to introduce the topic to the reader and then state your opinion. Your essay should not reflect a direct answer to a question. It should systematicaly flow as to arouse interest of the reader.
With no doubts, I consider only one aspect of scientific issues while my co-workers think about other aspects. Having considered so, all of us can take advantage of different thoughts and perspectives and broaden our horizons and mind about issues.
This does not sound a specific example to support your reason that you can learn better when you study in a group. Find a specific example;
When I study in a group I can share the material such as tutorials and lecture notes even if I miss a class.