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"It's a writer&character-based film that is mostly in touch..." - sentence from an essay about film

rosemaryyy 2 / 4 1  
Nov 8, 2015   #1
Hey guys, i started writing a new essay discussing a film I've seen.
But im not sure one sentence in it.
Here it is:
' It's a writer&character-based film that is mostly in touch with the literature and also novelizes the issue of fate in an effective way.'

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Nov 8, 2015   #2
Rose, it is better if you divide that sentence into 2 different paragraphs because you are talking about 2 different criteria when it comes to the film. The best way to utilize this thought process in your essay would be to develop the sentence using the following examples:

In the movie xxx, the viewer is presented with a character driven movie that calls to mind...

As a writer, xxx developed the characters of his story to portray ...

The characters should bring forth a sense of familiarity with the viewer in order to create a connection with the story of that person as it unfolds on screen. That is what makes the story character based and character driven. The way that the writer developed the characters based upon the literary originals should be clearly presented as well. Assuming that is, that you are reviewing a novel brought to film. There are always some character variations in that case so you should discuss those.

Your main discussion should center on the issue of fate after you have presented the first 2 descriptions of the story and character plots to the reader. It is only after you have threshed out those first two parts of your review that you will be able to focus the attention of the reader on the actual message of the novel / film. The background of the characters and the writer ideas regarding his character development will, in the end, help you to better discuss the central plot of the movie as all 3 points can now relate in your essay.
OP rosemaryyy 2 / 4 1  
Nov 9, 2015   #3
Thanks :) I'll rewrite my essay as you suggest.
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Nov 9, 2015   #4
Rose, I agree with Louisa, it would be best if you cut this sentence into two, here's my take on the sentence.

- It's a writer/ character - based film that is mostly in touchpertains towith the literature.
- and also novelizesIt encompasses the issue of fate in ana very effective way manner.'

There you have it Rose, I believe forming two sentences out of your idea is better than putting everything in one sentence with a lot of thoughts going on around it.

Looking at the sentence you made and compare it to the sentences after the revision, it turned the sentence to be more engaging and I must say, more comprehensive without deleting the idea rather keeping it intact and stronger.

I hope my remarks help and we would appreciate if you could post the entire essay here on EF so we can assist you further.

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