blind527
Dec 23, 2010
Undergraduate / "devoted to my goals, and confident" -personal or creative essay that describes YOU. [14]
Hello people,
I have somewhat of an essay for Georgetown's essay requirement. It's not completed, but I need some direction/guidance with some structural/grammatical feedback. I know it's not very long right now, but I have a lot of ideas in my mind that I just cannot put into solid wording. I'm in now way asking anyone to complete this for me, but maybe some brainstorming ideas as to where I could take this essay. I'm applying to about 10 schools, and it gets extremely difficult after a while! Any help? Thanks!
Kurt
"On December 16, 2010, I lied anxiously on my soft, cool bed. Despite the exhaustion of finals week, I found it extremely difficult to fall asleep. Knowing that I was graduating from my local community college with high honors the next day, I could not help but think about the journey I was so fortunate to be a part of, and all the hard work and time I put in to accomplish my challenging and demanding goals. I wasn't worried, scared or intimidated by what the future held, however. I was excited. I was excited for new opportunities in a more diverse community, and the chance to grow and prosper at a four-year institution. I was excited for a new beginning.
I am an indomitable human being: devoted to my goals and confident in my ability to excel at a prestigious university such as Georgetown by utilizing my problem solving, critical reasoning, and mathematical skills. I am confident in my capability to strengthen the university's outstanding reputation, and contribute to the local and global communities by getting involved in need-based volunteer opportunities for the less fortunate."
Now with the second paragraph...If I were to use that as my starting paragraph, how could I incorporate the first paragraph later on in the essay? Should I just remove the first two sentences and just use some ideas for the later parts of the essay? Should I keep the format of the first paragraph and use it almost as a conclusion?
Thanks for your help, fella's.
Hello people,
I have somewhat of an essay for Georgetown's essay requirement. It's not completed, but I need some direction/guidance with some structural/grammatical feedback. I know it's not very long right now, but I have a lot of ideas in my mind that I just cannot put into solid wording. I'm in now way asking anyone to complete this for me, but maybe some brainstorming ideas as to where I could take this essay. I'm applying to about 10 schools, and it gets extremely difficult after a while! Any help? Thanks!
Kurt
"On December 16, 2010, I lied anxiously on my soft, cool bed. Despite the exhaustion of finals week, I found it extremely difficult to fall asleep. Knowing that I was graduating from my local community college with high honors the next day, I could not help but think about the journey I was so fortunate to be a part of, and all the hard work and time I put in to accomplish my challenging and demanding goals. I wasn't worried, scared or intimidated by what the future held, however. I was excited. I was excited for new opportunities in a more diverse community, and the chance to grow and prosper at a four-year institution. I was excited for a new beginning.
I am an indomitable human being: devoted to my goals and confident in my ability to excel at a prestigious university such as Georgetown by utilizing my problem solving, critical reasoning, and mathematical skills. I am confident in my capability to strengthen the university's outstanding reputation, and contribute to the local and global communities by getting involved in need-based volunteer opportunities for the less fortunate."
Now with the second paragraph...If I were to use that as my starting paragraph, how could I incorporate the first paragraph later on in the essay? Should I just remove the first two sentences and just use some ideas for the later parts of the essay? Should I keep the format of the first paragraph and use it almost as a conclusion?
Thanks for your help, fella's.