learningtowrite
Oct 15, 2008
Writing Feedback / An unexpected act of kindness [4]
Thanks so much Gloria ;] . The question is actually "An unexpected act of kindness". I can choose to write personal recount, which I did, or narrative. And about the quotation mark, it is like that in my education system, so yeah :D
"I tried to stand up, but my right knee hurt so much that it made all my efforts futile. There was nothing there at all, besides me, the ubiquitous towering trees and perhaps snakes slithering insidiously around me. And the irritant named Laura, a pest that would never go away, of course. However, I would not take her into the picture, because I simply knew that there was not much she could do for me, especially after our lifelong conflict. I was going to die; I knew it, with my blood streaking from my knee down all the way to my leg. I tried to look away from the blood, hoping that this was just a nightmare; and it was just when suddenly I cringed away from the sound of fabric tearing in this silent-reigned forest."
I actually thought of putting this paragraph as the first paragraph, but then chose not to, since I didnt know how to continue after that. When the part about the character falling comes, I shouldn't repeat the whole thing, should I? Then do I have to like describe it through totally different words and expressions and things like that? And let's say if I put this paragraph as the first, then the tense of my whole essay would be changed, right? Life from past tense to past perfect and all that. Can you suggest for me what to do?
Thank you!
Thanks so much Gloria ;] . The question is actually "An unexpected act of kindness". I can choose to write personal recount, which I did, or narrative. And about the quotation mark, it is like that in my education system, so yeah :D
"I tried to stand up, but my right knee hurt so much that it made all my efforts futile. There was nothing there at all, besides me, the ubiquitous towering trees and perhaps snakes slithering insidiously around me. And the irritant named Laura, a pest that would never go away, of course. However, I would not take her into the picture, because I simply knew that there was not much she could do for me, especially after our lifelong conflict. I was going to die; I knew it, with my blood streaking from my knee down all the way to my leg. I tried to look away from the blood, hoping that this was just a nightmare; and it was just when suddenly I cringed away from the sound of fabric tearing in this silent-reigned forest."
I actually thought of putting this paragraph as the first paragraph, but then chose not to, since I didnt know how to continue after that. When the part about the character falling comes, I shouldn't repeat the whole thing, should I? Then do I have to like describe it through totally different words and expressions and things like that? And let's say if I put this paragraph as the first, then the tense of my whole essay would be changed, right? Life from past tense to past perfect and all that. Can you suggest for me what to do?
Thank you!
