Posts by ajit88rai

ajit88rai

Jan 17, 2011

Writing Feedback / How money was spent in different entertainment- IELTS task [2]

@ARIA

-As the charts shows the US leads the first place for spending the money for entertainment follow <followed> by Europe and
the <then> Asia at <in>the third place.

-what i have learnt, when the numbers in the data given are less, you need to cover most of them...you haven't covered cinema, video and publishing at all....try to cover all the mentioned things

ajit88rai

Jan 17, 2011

Writing Feedback / IELTS-Money spent on different forms of entertainment (WT1) [8]

@ARIA

-As the charts shows the US leads the first place for spending the money for entertainment ~~follow~~<followed> by Europe and the <then> Asia at <in >the third place.

-what i have learnt, when the numbers in the data given are less, you need to cover most of them...you haven't covered cinema, video and publishing at all....try to cover all the mentioned things.

ajit88rai

Jan 17, 2011

Writing Feedback / "The true function of a university" - IELTS -education approach of universities. [5]

Topic-
Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Other think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer

What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?

answer-

A University is a place where one aggregates knowledge in a specific field , for a brighter and prosperous future life. Everyone dreams to study in top universities because they provide the best skills and opportunities to an individual.

Should a university provide industry specific knowledge or just random knowledge is a debatable issue. Some people believe that university education should be centered towards knowledge, no matter if that course is in demand by the employers or not. However , this is not a practical approach in the current scenario.

For instance, if an individual's choice of course is not in demand by employers, what would that individual do? He will not have any employment, which would result in a dark future only. This might also lead the individual to indulge in wrong activities.

Knowledge is not useless. However, knowledge which is useful to an individual and is in the interest of his future should be given. In today's world, unemployability is a bigger problem than unemployment. A knowledge which can't provide an individual with a good future is useless.

For example, if there is a demand for engineers in the job market, and the market is flooded with only lawyers, an imbalance would be developed.

Universities should maintain a balance among all professions. It should be left on an individual , what he/she wants to choose. Teaching courses which are not in demand by the employers would only create instability. Doctors, engineers, lawyers, journalists and all professions are equally important. A course which is not useful to employers would only create a crowd of jobless aspirants, who might be an expert in their course, but are useless in the world.

I strongly believe that the universities should provide a choice for many types of courses. It should be the personal choice of an individual to choose their field of interest. Courses which are not in demand by the employers should be left only to a student to choose. If a student wants to take the risk of the future prospects of their course, it should be their discretion. Knowledge is useful, but only when it is focussed in a right direction.

ajit88rai

Jan 17, 2011

Writing Feedback / IELTS ACADEMIC WRITING ABOUT GOVERNMENT FUNDING ART. [3]

hi ,
-personally i feel there is a lack of cohesion in the first line of introduction. Improvement in living standards does not really implies to investment of art.

-From an individual standview, more ~~estabilishment~~<establishment> <of> artistic places such as museums <,> gallery and opera have provided people <,> especially those working ~~undr~~ <under> high pressure in this high-speed modern society <,> more convenient and available ways to relax spiritually < spiritually? are you sure about that? I think artistic places give more peace of mind and entertainment as compared to spirituality. Spirituality is to discover essence of one's own being> as well as making up for their ~~monotorous~~ < monotonous> life.

- you can also add that artistic investment encourages to conserve the cultural heritage of a region.

-Obviously, those who advocate the artistic appreciation more likely rest on the more affluent group of people rather than the poor <,> who have to worry about the allocation of their low income <,> which constiutes considerable proportion of health and education.expenditures.

-THIS SENTENCE NEEDS TO BE RE-FRAMED. "From a business point, imagine how many residents would go to the local gallery and opera which are built in the area of slums before their basic needs are still a problem. ".... YOU CAN WRITE ," From a business point, imagine how many residents would to the local gallery and opera, from slum areas where the basic needs are a problem in itself"

-
-Accordingly, welfare service and artistic projections should both be subsidized due to their individual and social benefits. Which ( you are forming a new sentence in the middle of a sentence) should be valued more, though, mainly lie on the economic ~~situaions~~ < situations> in the area invested as well as the source of funds.

-try to get more ideas. this is not a very easy topic to get the ideas flowing, so try to read some essays on similar topics.

ajit88rai

Jan 17, 2011

Writing Feedback / Job satisfaction: factors, element of well-being [5]

thanks a tonne lokesh...well its really nice to get guidance and opinions ...please do give me your reviews about the new essay i posted today on university educational approach.!!!! thanks a lot

ajit88rai

Jan 16, 2011

Writing Feedback / Job satisfaction: factors, element of well-being [5]

what about this essay??? ..i am trying hard to improve and get my ideas flowing in essay writing...

question- Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime.Other, however,argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

answer-

Crime is always punishable. Retribution is the measure to counter criminals in a society. Countries across the world use different measures to deal with crimes-some have stringent fixed laws while some believe in giving a second chance for improving.

Fixed stringent punishments versus flexible correcting measures have been a controversial issue. A fixed punishment gives a message to all other prospective criminal minds what they should expect from the courts. Effectively , this prevents the criminals from committing crimes.

For instance, cold blooded murderers are given capital punishments or life imprisonment in many countries, which is justified because they are a threat to the society.

However, many times, a circumstances marred person is forced to commit a crime. In life, sometimes, certain unavoidable situations come up, which force a person to commit a crime. There are many convicts imprisoned, without their circumstances and motivating factors being considered.

The main objective of any judicial system is to safeguard the human rights. If an innocent person commits a crime by mistake, and is given a severe punishment, it will solely defeat the objective of the judicial system. It will incite hatred in that individual against the society. Such victims of circumstances should be given a proper counselling to improve and rehabilitate.

For instance, killing someone in self defense is not a crime. When an individual's life is threatened, it is obvious he/she will try to protect himself/herself. Such so called criminals, should be dealt softly at the hands of law.

Everyone deserves a second chance. Fixed punishments do restrain anti-social elements from committing crimes. However, a little degree of flexibility is essentially needed. Fixed punishments are only justified for history sheeters and hardcore criminals.

I strongly believe that the judicial systems should take into account the inciting factors of an individual who committed a crime. Redressal and retribution is a better approach as compared to fixed stringent punishments, which don't consider circumstantial factors.

ajit88rai

Jan 16, 2011

Graduate / "Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish" - SOP for Masters degree in MIS [6]

Hi Lokesh,
I don't know much about SOPs and these english tests.Right now I am planning to give IELTS for the first time in less than 25 days. Would you please see my essay and notify me if any corrections or omissions have to be done????

thanks

ajit88rai

Jan 16, 2011

Writing Feedback / Job satisfaction: factors, element of well-being [5]

TOPIC
As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.
What factors contribute to job satisfaction?
How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

Answer

Workplace is a location where most people spend a major part of their life, after their student life. What makes a workplace suitable for an individual is the job he/she does. Job satisfaction is the driving force which derives maximum productivity and efficiency out of an individual.

In the modern world, industrialisation has resulted in a mammoth workforce. Job satisfaction inspires this workforce to work honestly and efficiently. Job satisfaction means how contented an individual feels at his workplace. Job satisfaction is presently a concern which is taken care by Industrial psychologists in an industry. It is the duty of an industrial psychologist to look after the mental health of the workers and to solve their dissatisfaction.

modern.

Job satisfaction is subjected to many factors which play a part in an individual's performance. First and foremost, requirements and needs of an individual is an important factor. According to Abraham Maslow's hierarchial needs, an individual has five main needs during his life- Food and shelter, social acceptance, recognition, finances and self actualisation. Second very important factor is financial security. A person can have peace of mind only if he has finances to meet his needs.

Thirdly, job security is very important. No employee can work efficiently and be contented , if he has the fear of being kicked out any time. Fourth most important factor is recognition and social acceptance. When an individual is encouraged for his good work, he/she will try to work more harder next time and would feel satisfied with the job. Fifth, job suitability is a prerequisite to job satisfaction. For instance, if an engineer is given the work of an accountant, errors are bound to occur. The field of interest of an individual should be kept in mind. The above mentioned factors are few most important factors contributing to job satisfaction.

However, how suitable an individual is to expect any thing, whether materialistic or abstract, can only be measured by an expert in this field. Industrial psychologists and industrial sociologists are hired by many companies to look after such problems, arising due to job dissatisfaction.

Thus, job satisfaction is a quintessential requirement for an employee to work efficiently in an organisation. An individual who is not satisfied will surely commit errors and it might even harm the organisation.