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Posts by Bucky16
Name: Erlisa
Joined: Nov 11, 2016
Last Post: Nov 13, 2016
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: Albania
School: NYHS

Displayed posts: 2
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Bucky16   
Nov 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / A great thing for all students to have the chance to study arts and music in secondary school [3]

All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. - TOEFL Essay

In my opinion it would be a great thing for all students to have the chance to study arts and music in secondary school. In school I've done both and I can tell that they have helped me achieve a lot. Even though many students would like to only study inartistic subjects at school, there are several reasons why I support the contrary.

First, during these lessons students have the chance to express themselves. Some of the students may think they have no talents, but this way they can find out more about themselves and develop skills they never could think of. For example, the music classes made me fall in love with the guitar which I could have never imagined I could play in a near future.

Second, music and art help you have another perception of the world. Both of them develop your patience and help you see the world more colorfully while eliminating boredom. I could take myself for instance again because I'm a painter and art has helped me become more optimistic and always think positively. I see art as a filter which helps me see the world more vividly.

Third, these classes could be a good chance to create new relations. You can be part of a painting club or a band and enjoy the time that you spend with friends with the same interest but diverse viewpoints. For example, In middle school I was part of the painting club and now in high school I'm part of its band where I play electric guitar. Consequently, this has helped me make a lot of new friends and become more outgoing.

To sum up, art and music are a world where everybody could fit in. They help you in many aspects of life so if you study them in secondary school they could really have an impact on you. Moreover, spending your time with useful things like them would be more effective than playing video games at home.
Bucky16   
Nov 13, 2016
Writing Feedback / A great thing for all students to have the chance to study arts and music in secondary school [3]

@Holt
I truly agree with what you mentioned and I apologize for the lack of clarification. To be honest it's my first time posting in this site so I just thought of making a try.

However, thank you very much for your advice and evaluation.
The full prompt goes like this: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

It's a task my English teacher gave me to prepare for the TOEFL.
It just asks for specific examples so I thought of sharing my own personal experience to make it more reliable.
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