Writing Feedback / Nile River Civilization influences on the Modern World [2]

Some suggestions to help clean it up and bring more clarity:

"it is undoubted that all early civilizations" this should be "nearly"

In the 3rd sentence you could just start with "Ancient civilizations", you can omit the word "these."

In the first sentence of the second paragraph you refer to ancient Egyptians in the present tense, say they were innovative thinkers, not are.

Also pyramids should be plural as there are 3 of them in Egypt. "Egypt is well-known for their extraordinary Pyramid, which is one of the seven wonders of the modern world." You should say "Egypt is well known for its extraordinary pyramids which are one of the seven wonders of the world."

"Egyptian's social structure is arranged" this should say "Egypt's social structure was arranged..."

"Soldiers that protected the" should be "soldiers who protected..."

"But, at the highest class comparing to Egypt as Pharaoh is the leader ..."
This is a run on sentence and is not very clear, I had a hard time understanding what you were saying. You should never start a sentence with "but."

Pretty good essay but needs a little work, I would suggest that you read it out loud, that may help you see any issues with clarity and grammar.

Writing Feedback / Article Summary : Longer 'Penis' drives evolution of bigger brains in female fish [2]

Some suggestions for better clarity:
"...bigger genitals means more mating success. Suprisingly..."
"become larger and to escape from over eager males."
in the second sentence started should be starts.
"anal fin, called the gonopodium,..." omit the first comma.
"and males response it by evolve their brains too. " change this to "and males responded by evolving their brains as well."

I would change your second to last sentence to: "The mating system is far from romantic among mosquitofish poses many risks for females, and having a larger brain may help them to spot and get away from males."

Just a couple questions about the content as well. I was confuse while reading, do male triggerfish's brains grow or not? The answer was not entirely clear.

I like the content and the subject is interesting, it just needs so grammar fixes. Make sure you are writing the the correct tense. Read it out loud and that may help you with spoting some issues with clarity.