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Posts by notmargaux
Name: Margaux
Joined: Jan 15, 2017
Last Post: Feb 4, 2017
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
From: Philippines
School: MC

Displayed posts: 5
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notmargaux   
Jan 15, 2017
Scholarship / 'a leader, a go-getter, down-to-earth, opportunist' Letter of Self-Introduction - 2017 KGSP Graduate [2]

Hi there! I will be applying for the 2017 Korean Government Scholarship Program for Graduate Degree. For the self-introduction, their instructions are to write about your course of life, your view of life, yours hopes and wishes, your education and work experience, in relation to the KGSP program, your motivation for applying to the program, and your reason for study in Korea.

Here is my essay and I hope you can let me know any needed corrections that I can make. Thank you!

LETTER OF SELF-INTRODUCTION



When we are young, we dedicate our time trying to find our purpose in life. Most of the time, young people are still lost as to what they want to do in life or who they want to be. At a young age, I was just as lost as any young person. I followed my parents, my friends, and the trends and hoped that life would put me where I should be. As I got older, I realized that this was wrong. I am my own person and should shape my own life according to my beliefs, my wants, my goals, and my needs. If I kept following others, I would be following their dreams and their wishes and not my own. I am glad to have grown up and realized that all along, I should have been leading my own self to the path that I wanted to take.

My name is Margaux, I am ambitious, outgoing, a leader, a go-getter, down-to-earth, and an opportunist. I love to read, I love to learn, I love to travel, and I love to befriend others. My dream is to have a career in the hotels and resorts industry and to one day have my own resort. I have much appreciation for the people who work in an industry that is always available to serve others and to make others happy in places that serve as a home away from home for tourists, business people, and others. I also dream of incorporating an inclusive business to my own business so that I can help the people in my country who are not as fortunate as I am.

I learned too late at my young age that there was nothing wrong with taking risks and opportunities. In fact, I would gain more than I would lose when I did take risks and opportunities. Despite learning this too late, I have made the most out of the opportunities in my life and am still making the most out of them. I am currently at my last semester studying Marketing Management at Miriam College in the Philippines. I study hard to get high grades because I want my family and myself to be proud of my hard work. Besides that, I am a student leader that went from being the Marketing Manager to being the President of the business organization of my school, the MC Inter-school Business Association. The opportunity of being a student leader is just one of the many opportunities that have gone my way. In my 3rd year, I joined as an event organizer for 2 events in my school: the AIESEC Youth Activation Fair 2016, a leadership seminar for students, and TEDxMiriamCollege: Rooted, the first TEDx conference in my school. In my 4th year, I was appointed to become the Head Organizer for the next TEDxMiriamCollege conference, I joined the Batch 2017 Yearbook Committee as Content Editor, I underwent an internship for the World Youth Alliance Asia Pacific, a non-profit youth organization committed to human rights and development, and I was sent to Busan, South Korea to represent my school and my country at the 2016 APEC Edutainment Exchange Program wherein my group and I were tasked to create a business plan and present it, I was also chosen as the Team Leader for my group. Currently, I am representing my school to compete at the Agora Youth Awards, a competition for Marketing students, and I am an intern at Holiday Inn Manila - my first step to achieving my dream of working in the hospitality and tourism industry and my dream of having my own resort.

Looking back at these opportunities that I have experienced, I know that they will be helpful to me in studying Hotel Management because I have learned how to give importance in creating a system when organizing an event or leading an organization. I have learned how the operations of organizations and a hotel business works. I have also learned to interact and communicate with others, to serve others, to put others before me, and to be a good example to others.

I applied for the 2017 Korean Government Scholarship Program because I know that this is an opportunity that I should not miss. I believe that whether I pass or fail this endeavor, I will nonetheless still gain experience from it. I also believe that the KGSP encourages people to become independent - to be far away from your family and friends, to take care of yourself, and be the leader of your own self. Besides my love for travel and for learning, I want to study in Korea because I know that the education in this country is of high quality. The tourism of South Korea is also doing great which will allow me to learn about its hospitality industry and apply it to my studies. Not only will I learn the language, I will also learn the culture and history, and learn to interact with and appreciate Korean people. Being able to visit Korea twice in the past years, I have learned how friendly and accommodating Korean people are. The seminar I attended in Busan allowed me to interact with Koreans my age and learned to build lasting friendships with them.

I believe that continuing my studies in business in a foreign country will help me to expand my viewpoint of the world - the KGSP will allow me to meet many people from different backgrounds and different walks of life and help me to understand the internationalism of the industry that I want to work in. To study a Master's Degree in Hotel Management is the next step in building my career - something that is vital to add to my current experiences in order to become successful. Not only will I gain new knowledge in business but I will also gain a sense of understanding of the world outside my comfort zone, outside the country that I have called my home for the past 20 years. As the Korean government helps me in achieving an education that will help me reach my goals in life, I, in turn, shall help others in reaching their goals in life as well through the inclusive business that I plan to build in the future so that others can also find their purpose in life.
notmargaux   
Jan 19, 2017
Writing Feedback / 'Our personality is the average of the five people with whom we spend most of our time'; GRE Task [4]

@shiv_riky
Hi there. As Holt said, you do have a strong essay and I agree with her recommendations.

I would also like to make my own comments about some grammar mistakes.

... patterns in our behaviour and after the diligent and ... -- you may remove the word "and" and make these two phrases separate sentences to avoid redundancy.

But this will require indomitable will ... - you should also avoid starting your sentence with the word but. I believe that without that word, the sentence is good enough to stand on its own.
notmargaux   
Jan 19, 2017
Undergraduate / Describe the factors that have most influenced you and your hopes and dreams. [9]

@charzbk
Hello! I feel that your essay was written well although you should start it stronger -- something that will captivate the reader to make them keep reading the essay. Make sure that as it starts stronger, it should also end strong. Make your essay consistent so that the reader will keep being interested until the end.
notmargaux   
Jan 19, 2017
Scholarship / I am applying for a scholarship that will allow me to study master's degree [2]

After writing my self-introduction letter, I now move on to writing my study plan/statement of purpose for my scholarship. The guidelines were divided into 2 but I'm not sure if it means dividing my essays into 2. It is important to note that I am applying for a scholarship that will allow me to study my master's degree. The scholarship runs for 3 years: 1 year of language program, 2 years dedicated to studying the degree.

These were the guidelines given:
1. goal of study, title or subject of research, and detailed study plan
2. future plan in Korea or another country after study in Korea


2 pages maximum, Times New Roman, size 10, single-spaced was the format given.

Study Plan/Statement of Purpose



Language is at the heart of a nation. If granted the scholarship, it is vital for me to learn Hangul so that I may be able to interact with the local community and live in Korea independently. My love for learning has led me to be interested in learning other languages in the past. Besides being fluent in English and Filipino, I already have basic knowledge of Spanish. My experiences in learning a different language in the past will help me in learning Korea without problems. I will dedicate my first year in Korea studying Hangul and achieve a level of at least TOPIK Level 4 by the end of my language program. My interests for watching Korean dramas has already given me a platform to learn Hangul - I am able to read, write and understand the language on a beginner level. I am sure that my current knowledge of Hangul will help me in furthering my knowledge of it as I study it on a serious level.

My outgoing nature will also help me in learning Hangul. I am already keen to build friendships with Koreans so that I can practice my abilities in speaking and understanding the language. In turn, they will also be able to learn from me in regards to the English, Filipino, and Spanish languages. My past experiences with my Spanish friends has made me learn that constant and verbal communication with fluent people who speak the language you are trying to learn helps a person in learning better.

After my year of learning Hangul, I will then move on to study at my university. For the two years that I will be spending studying my Master's Degree, I will study hard and achieve grades above 90% to succeed with my goal of graduating at my university with honors. As I learn about the hospitality and tourism industry, I will use most of my spare time by doing my research for my thesis project. I will also ask for guidance from the professors in my department to be able to write an outstanding research paper.

My thesis topic that I plan to write will be focused on inclusive businesses in the tourism industry. I will dedicate my time researching for existing inclusive businesses in my field so that I can use them as case studies for my research paper. My objective for this topic is how the tourism industry can make a shift in becoming inclusive businesses as a way to help people in developing countries. Studying in Korea will help me in learning firsthand experiences of how it is to live and work in a developed country - something that I would like to emphasize in my research wherein I will compare the growth of tourism in developed and developing countries; and how developing countries may be able to use developed countries as models and examples for them to improve.

I chose this research topic because of my goal of operating my own inclusive resort business. I believe that researching this topic will help me understand how realistic and helpful it will be for people like me who plan on operating businesses that are dedicated to helping the less fortunate. This research paper can serve as a guide to others who would also like to study more about inclusive businesses focused in the hospitality and tourism industry. The tourism industry is currently one of the leading industries in the world. With an industry that has great impact in the world, I believe that it is just right for this industry to use its impact for the greater good.

To study in a country with a high quality of education, the motivation for people to study hard is very high. The culture of working hard will help me in doing my best while completing my studies. I know that the education that I will obtain will help me in becoming an excellent person in my field. I also believe that it is my duty to study hard and do my best as a way of gratitude to the Korean government for giving me a scholarship.

While studying, I also plan on taking up internships with various companies in Korea that are in the hospitality and tourism industry. Not only will this help me in building my career but it will also help me in learning more about the industry that I want to work in. My experiences with my internships will greatly help me in my studies as I incorporate and use my learnings in school to my workplace and vice versa.

To be able to make the most out of my time in Korea, I will join school organizations where I can interact with the local and international students - building friendships will allow me to learn from different people. I plan on joining an organization that will allow me to explore and appreciate Korea while also helping me in staying healthy. Besides all of these activities, I will also continue my dedication to being active with helping people. I will join a local charity organization that is dedicated to serving and helping those who are in need. As a member of World Youth Alliance, I will also keep in contact with this organization and find ways on how I can contribute despite being out of the country. My will to create a difference in this world motivates me to stay active as a young and responsible person who is socially aware.

After completing my studies, I will continue on building my career in the hospitality and tourism industry. I will spend a few years working in Korea so that I can contribute my skills and knowledge to the country that helped in giving me a fruitful education. After spending time in Korea, I will give myself the opportunity to build an established career wherever it will take me. While building my career, I will start my plans on creating my own inclusive resort business and also start saving capital for this dream to come true. I will start looking for a location in the Philippines, finding a community that is in need, and do all the necessary processes for one's dream business to become a reality. When I feel that I have enough experience in my field and have the necessary resources in starting my business, I will go back to the Philippines to achieve my goal in life.

My continuing dedication to helping other people and being socially responsible will allow me to participate in contributing to different non-profit charity organizations inside and outside of the Philippines. I have always wanted to dedicate myself to a life of making a difference even outside of the career path that I have chosen. I plan on helping organizations that are dedicated to giving a better future to orphaned children, saving the environment, and helping the ones in need. From a young age, I have dreamed of helping local-based organizations like Stairway Foundation, Marine Conservation Philippines, and Gawad Kalinga. I have also dreamed of helping international organizations like UNICEF and WWF. I hope to make positive differences to the people whose lives I will be given the chance to make an impact to. My plans in reducing poverty and corruption in the Philippines will prompt me to actively participate in government organizations that are dedicated to creating a difference in the country. With my experiences in living in a developed country like Korea, I will be able to give my insights to others on how we can transform my country the way South Korea was able to.

Since the Korean government gave me the opportunity of being able to study in Korea, I will also give back to the country to show my gratefulness. I will make sure to share my experiences in Korea to my family, friends, and acquaintances so that they will know how amazing a country it is. I know that this is a small gesture but I have hopes that it can help in contributing to Korea's economy as I convince others to explore the country that I was able to call home for 3 years. My appreciation will not end there. As the Korean government helped in paving my way to an education that will make me outstanding in my field, my goal of helping other people will become a reality because of it. I hope that I will be able to make the Korean government proud when I have finally achieved my goal of operating my own inclusive resort business that is dedicated to giving a better future for the less fortunate. With the KGSP's help in giving young people a bright future, I also hope to give a bright future for my countrymen.
notmargaux   
Feb 4, 2017
Scholarship / Reason to study in Korea - Self Introduction : My name is Muhammad [9]

@Muhammad91
Hi Muhammad! Don't give up! I am also applying for the scholarship and it took me about 2 weeks straight revising and revising my essays. You have to believe in yourself and remember why you're applying in the first place. Put your heart into it wholly. Your essay won't be perfect in the first try, you'll have to try and try again until you feel satisfied. It's good that you are on this website asking for advice as I'm sure there are people who will help you. You can also ask your friends to help you by asking them for their comments/suggestions. That's what I did and I was able to come to a point wherein I felt that I accomplished a good essay.

Keep it up, keep going. You can do this :)
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