Unanswered [1] / Urgent [0] / SERVICES

Scholarship   Posts: 11

I am applying for a scholarship that will allow me to study master's degree

notmargaux 2 / 8 4  
Jan 19, 2017   #1
After writing my self-introduction letter, I now move on to writing my study plan/statement of purpose for my scholarship. The guidelines were divided into 2 but I'm not sure if it means dividing my essays into 2. It is important to note that I am applying for a scholarship that will allow me to study my master's degree. The scholarship runs for 3 years: 1 year of language program, 2 years dedicated to studying the degree.

These were the guidelines given:
1. goal of study, title or subject of research, and detailed study plan
2. future plan in Korea or another country after study in Korea

2 pages maximum, Times New Roman, size 10, single-spaced was the format given.

Study Plan/Statement of Purpose

Language is at the heart of a nation. If granted the scholarship, it is vital for me to learn Hangul so that I may be able to interact with the local community and live in Korea independently. My love for learning has led me to be interested in learning other languages in the past. Besides being fluent in English and Filipino, I already have basic knowledge of Spanish. My experiences in learning a different language in the past will help me in learning Korea without problems. I will dedicate my first year in Korea studying Hangul and achieve a level of at least TOPIK Level 4 by the end of my language program. My interests for watching Korean dramas has already given me a platform to learn Hangul - I am able to read, write and understand the language on a beginner level. I am sure that my current knowledge of Hangul will help me in furthering my knowledge of it as I study it on a serious level.

My outgoing nature will also help me in learning Hangul. I am already keen to build friendships with Koreans so that I can practice my abilities in speaking and understanding the language. In turn, they will also be able to learn from me in regards to the English, Filipino, and Spanish languages. My past experiences with my Spanish friends has made me learn that constant and verbal communication with fluent people who speak the language you are trying to learn helps a person in learning better.

After my year of learning Hangul, I will then move on to study at my university. For the two years that I will be spending studying my Master's Degree, I will study hard and achieve grades above 90% to succeed with my goal of graduating at my university with honors. As I learn about the hospitality and tourism industry, I will use most of my spare time by doing my research for my thesis project. I will also ask for guidance from the professors in my department to be able to write an outstanding research paper.

My thesis topic that I plan to write will be focused on inclusive businesses in the tourism industry. I will dedicate my time researching for existing inclusive businesses in my field so that I can use them as case studies for my research paper. My objective for this topic is how the tourism industry can make a shift in becoming inclusive businesses as a way to help people in developing countries. Studying in Korea will help me in learning firsthand experiences of how it is to live and work in a developed country - something that I would like to emphasize in my research wherein I will compare the growth of tourism in developed and developing countries; and how developing countries may be able to use developed countries as models and examples for them to improve.

I chose this research topic because of my goal of operating my own inclusive resort business. I believe that researching this topic will help me understand how realistic and helpful it will be for people like me who plan on operating businesses that are dedicated to helping the less fortunate. This research paper can serve as a guide to others who would also like to study more about inclusive businesses focused in the hospitality and tourism industry. The tourism industry is currently one of the leading industries in the world. With an industry that has great impact in the world, I believe that it is just right for this industry to use its impact for the greater good.

To study in a country with a high quality of education, the motivation for people to study hard is very high. The culture of working hard will help me in doing my best while completing my studies. I know that the education that I will obtain will help me in becoming an excellent person in my field. I also believe that it is my duty to study hard and do my best as a way of gratitude to the Korean government for giving me a scholarship.

While studying, I also plan on taking up internships with various companies in Korea that are in the hospitality and tourism industry. Not only will this help me in building my career but it will also help me in learning more about the industry that I want to work in. My experiences with my internships will greatly help me in my studies as I incorporate and use my learnings in school to my workplace and vice versa.

To be able to make the most out of my time in Korea, I will join school organizations where I can interact with the local and international students - building friendships will allow me to learn from different people. I plan on joining an organization that will allow me to explore and appreciate Korea while also helping me in staying healthy. Besides all of these activities, I will also continue my dedication to being active with helping people. I will join a local charity organization that is dedicated to serving and helping those who are in need. As a member of World Youth Alliance, I will also keep in contact with this organization and find ways on how I can contribute despite being out of the country. My will to create a difference in this world motivates me to stay active as a young and responsible person who is socially aware.

After completing my studies, I will continue on building my career in the hospitality and tourism industry. I will spend a few years working in Korea so that I can contribute my skills and knowledge to the country that helped in giving me a fruitful education. After spending time in Korea, I will give myself the opportunity to build an established career wherever it will take me. While building my career, I will start my plans on creating my own inclusive resort business and also start saving capital for this dream to come true. I will start looking for a location in the Philippines, finding a community that is in need, and do all the necessary processes for one's dream business to become a reality. When I feel that I have enough experience in my field and have the necessary resources in starting my business, I will go back to the Philippines to achieve my goal in life.

My continuing dedication to helping other people and being socially responsible will allow me to participate in contributing to different non-profit charity organizations inside and outside of the Philippines. I have always wanted to dedicate myself to a life of making a difference even outside of the career path that I have chosen. I plan on helping organizations that are dedicated to giving a better future to orphaned children, saving the environment, and helping the ones in need. From a young age, I have dreamed of helping local-based organizations like Stairway Foundation, Marine Conservation Philippines, and Gawad Kalinga. I have also dreamed of helping international organizations like UNICEF and WWF. I hope to make positive differences to the people whose lives I will be given the chance to make an impact to. My plans in reducing poverty and corruption in the Philippines will prompt me to actively participate in government organizations that are dedicated to creating a difference in the country. With my experiences in living in a developed country like Korea, I will be able to give my insights to others on how we can transform my country the way South Korea was able to.

Since the Korean government gave me the opportunity of being able to study in Korea, I will also give back to the country to show my gratefulness. I will make sure to share my experiences in Korea to my family, friends, and acquaintances so that they will know how amazing a country it is. I know that this is a small gesture but I have hopes that it can help in contributing to Korea's economy as I convince others to explore the country that I was able to call home for 3 years. My appreciation will not end there. As the Korean government helped in paving my way to an education that will make me outstanding in my field, my goal of helping other people will become a reality because of it. I hope that I will be able to make the Korean government proud when I have finally achieved my goal of operating my own inclusive resort business that is dedicated to giving a better future for the less fortunate. With the KGSP's help in giving young people a bright future, I also hope to give a bright future for my countrymen.

Holt [Contributor] - / 7,618 1957  
Jan 19, 2017   #2
Margaux, split the essay into 2 parts. By that, I mean you have to write two essays with the different prompts assigned in the title. So the first page will be the Course Study Plan and the second page will be best titled Post Study Plan. Formatted in that manner, the reviewer will be given a chance to concentrate fully on the topic discussion that you are presenting. It is important not to confuse the reviewer by combining both discussions in one essay. It will also result in a better developed essay on your part because you will have a full page with which to develop your responses and, knowing your perfectionist trait, that is something that you will appreciate very much.

It is important that you show a more serious aspect of learning Hangul than just watching their Korean dramas. Elaborate upon the self study of the Korean language that you have been doing. Indicate a desire to take the TOPIK while still in the Philippines in order to learn the areas of improvement that you need to concentrate on during your full year of language training in Korea. It will not hurt your application for the reviewer to know that you are preemptively trying to improve your Hangul abilities even before you get the scholarship.

Now, when it comes to your study goal, it is important that you present a clear thesis statement for your master degree as the basis of your academic lessons and interests. As with any ordinary masters degree application, it would be best if you indicate the university in Korea that you are hoping to attend, relate the course offerings to your current college degree (as in the logical next step) which can help you respond to a real Marketing marketing problem or situation in your country. Since you want to open your own resort in the future, look at the possible biggest problem that the resort industry faces in terms of marketing itself and then use that as the basis of your thesis statement. Explain how the university you have chosen can help you gain a better insight into the problem and possible solutions that you can apply to your own marketing style in the future.

As for the post study plan, you should definitely include a reference to creating a Korean network that can help you establish your own business when the time comes. However, the socio-civic interests that you present are not necessary as the focus of this essay should be the establishment of your business and how your Korean connections, made during your time as a student, will be able to help you. Try to find out if Korea has a tourism program that works with the Philippine tourism department, maybe that can help you to better develop a post study plan.

Quick reminder before I end my advise session with you, please divide the essay into 2 based on the prompt requirements. You will also need to post those as 2 separate threads. That will make it easier for me to keep track of the advice I will be giving you as well as I can fully concentrate on each topic individually. I am sure that will also benefit you as the writer.
OP notmargaux 2 / 8 4  
Jan 19, 2017   #3
Hi again! Thank you so much for the advice once again. I'll revise it accordingly to your advices. And will post it as soon as I've edited it. :)
OP notmargaux 2 / 8 4  
Jan 19, 2017   #4
Hi there! This is the result of my revisions. I hope that you can make any comments for improvement. I do not feel satisfied with these essays yet as I believe that there is something still missing yet I cannot put my finger to it. I believe that I can elaborate more on what I can contribute to Korea, why they should choose me (or was I able to say that on my self-introduction already?), and how else I can create an impact in the tourism industry and my country. I think I could also improve the part about learning their language and studying at the language program more.

I also wonder if having a long essay would mean boring the reader? I was given advice by someone to make it short and not overwhelming to interest the reader. Although, I feel that the Self-Introduction and Study Plan essays will be the only way the judges can learn about you and why you want the scholarship, etc, and choose you to be a part of the program. We won't be submitting a resume in the application requirements and the only way someone will qualify for an interview (where they can learn more about you) is if you have good essays in the application form.

If you aren't chosen for the interview round (where they will choose about only 10-15 people out of a hundred or more), they will never even have the chance to listen more about your motivations, plans, experiences.

Study Plan
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,618 1957  
Jan 19, 2017   #5
Margaux, I did not dare bring up the topic of the word count with you as I know that you have other advisers who can point you in the right direction when needed. From experience, I know that your essays can get excessively long and trying to get you to cut down on the content does not work because you have a different line of reasoning and approach in mind. Now, I believe that I can direct you towards the correct format for this essay since other people have already warned you about excessively long essay content. Yes, when you go over 750 words, which is the normal maximum word requirement for these essays, you will bore the reader. I normally advice the student to write their essay between 500 - 600 words. That is the length allows you to provide enough information that can hold the reviewers interest and help him to notice your notable points as an applicant.

Needless to say, you really have to cut down the word count for each of your essays. While I am not very concerned about the second essay, because it is well within the normal word count, your first essay is over one thousand words. That is the essay that worries me the most due to its length and content.

I agree that you have already spoken enough about why the Korean government should choose you as a participant in their scholarship program. You should never repeat yourself in a different essay because the reviewer does not appreciate redundancies and it delivers the idea that you are trying very hard to convince the reviewer of your skills. Just mention it once and let it go. There is a reason that each essay you write for the application comes with a specific prompt. Work on convincing the reviewer that your other skills and plans are more than enough to make you a highly viable candidate for the scholarship.

Now, let us focus the study plan on the specifics of the three universities that you have chosen. Discuss each course that you have applied for admission to at each university. Be specific about the course and how you feel that it will help you achieve your post study plans. If necessary create a separate thesis topic for each university so that the reviewer will know that you are willing and able to study in Korea, regardless of which university you end up in. Believe me, this is a critical point of consideration for the reviewer so you have to do this.

Don't delve on the extra curricular activities for now. It doesn't really represent a study plan requirement at this point. Our main focus for now should be shortening the study plan to an informative and concise level. My apologies for my earlier statement, in case I offended you. I am just trying to help you focus on the proper targets for this particular essay and since you gave me the opportunity to discuss it, I took advantage of the opportunity to do so.
OP notmargaux 2 / 8 4  
Jan 19, 2017   #6
Hello there! You did not offend me in anyway! :) I believe and trust your advices and I am very glad that you have offered them. You have said true things especially about being concise and not being redundant. I will do my best in shortening my first essay while still being able to make it meaningful and convincing.

For the emphasizing of each university and the thesis, the degree I will be applying for at all universities is the same so I feel as though I may not need to create separate thesis statements for all three universities. Most of the time, KGSP applicants don't specify about their 3 universities and plans for each 3 universities. Since they are applying to same degrees, they usually explain their reasons as one. Although, I do agree I should mention the universities I chose. Though if you can give me any more advice on how I can improve on making my study plan better with regards to my studies at the university/ies, I will gladly appreciate it. :)

I will work on the revisions and then post it as soon as I feel that is has improved. Thank you once again!
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,618 1957  
Jan 19, 2017   #7
Thank you for being receptive to my advice. Believe me, I want to see you get this scholarship as much as you do. For the study plan, I suggest that you focus more on the university studies than the learning of the Korean language. I'm not sure if it works the same way for a KGSP scholarship but normally, the masters degree study plan includes a reference to the topic for research that you want to do through the presentation of a thesis statement. Regardless of the university you will be attending, the study plan always asks you to focus on the relevance of your masters degree on your current or future career choices / movements. So I'd like to see what your possible research proposal for your thesis would be. Whenever possible create a research plan that can connect Korea with the Philippines and vice versa. That way the plan can be used to support how you will gain employment in Korea after you graduate. That creates a sound study plan for you.
OP notmargaux 2 / 8 4  
Jan 19, 2017   #8
I believe that including the learning of the Korean language is vital because they are requiring us to learn it for a year during the scholarship. The current thesis statement that I proposed was how the tourism industry can help in alleviating poverty which has connection to my future goal of having my own inclusive business. I'm not sure if this is a good enough thesis statement or a thesis statement that is unique or can create an impact.

With regards to a thesis or research plan connecting Korea and the Philippines, the only thing I can think of would be a thesis statement like "How diplomatic relations can improve the tourism industry" wherein I could talk about the effects of government laws, political figures, and ambassadors in the tourism industry. An example would be how Duterte's image and attitude has affected foreigners into choosing not to visit the Philippines anymore. This thesis can emphasize on Korea's and Philippines' relationships and give insights on how both countries can promote each other's country to its citizens through its government policies and figures like free movement between countries, etc. I'm not sure if I was able to explain that correctly. Haha. I guess I will research more on how I can connect Korea and the PH into my thesis.

For the meantime, I tried to make my essays concise.
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,618 1957  
Jan 19, 2017   #9
I never said that you shouldn't include the study of the Korean language or that it should be removed. I said don't concentrate on it. Saying "don't focus" is different from "remove". I never said remove. I meant not to focus too much of your discussion on it since that will only take one year out of 3 years of study. That said, the major focus of your essay should still be on the actual masters degree course of study. Keep your wits about you Margaux. Don't read stuff that aren't there. Keep your focus.

Remove the last paragraph in the study plan. Extra curriculars are not part of the official academic life so it isn't included in a formal study plan. You should try to develop a thesis statement that can be applied both in Korea and the Philippines. Don't try to get this done at once. Step back and take a break. Collect your thoughts and do more research before you try to revise the essay again. Maybe you'll have a different perspective by then that can help you in further developing the essay.
OP notmargaux 2 / 8 4  
Jan 19, 2017   #10
Oops, sorry if I offended you any way :( The things I have said are also some insights from past KGSP passers which is why I included some of those things like being an active person (through organizations) and learning korea's culture, adjusting to life there (the language). That was why I included the last paragraph in my essay so that they know that besides being a hard working student, I will make use of my time by interacting with the local and foreign community I'll get to meet in Korea.

I'll continue doing research in the tourism industry so that I can find what thesis statement can connect Korea and the Philippines. Thank you, as always, for your advice and critique. I really, really appreciate and I am greatly sorry if I have offended you in any way.
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,618 1957  
Jan 20, 2017   #11
Margaux, don't get me wrong. I am not angry at you. I am just frustrated because you have so many people advising you on how to write this paper that I feel like I am engaged in an uphill climb that I will not be able to overcome. As I have told some of the students here, when you have more than one adviser guiding you in writing your paper, things get muddled to the point where the paper seems pointless, confused, and never nearing perfection.

Since you have other people giving you advice, whom you tend to listen to more, why are you still asking for our professional advice here? It seems pointless don't you think? Getting comments everywhere and then confusing yourself as to what to do, what to write, how to write it, have you written enough, have you written too little, what content should be there, what content should not be there, the list goes on and on and on.

You have to pick whom you will listen to because you cannot use all of the advice that is given to you. All of the advice that you hear sounds right and applicable, so you try to apply everything. Which makes your work even harder.. Apply only the advice that you got from the scholarship passers. They probably know better than I do as a professional and can help you successfully get into the program. You only have to listen to one, so be it.

Home / Scholarship / I am applying for a scholarship that will allow me to study master's degree