Doel Hasan
Feb 1, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1. Six pie charts about water usage worldwide [4]
Hello mariana, I have taken the liberty to edit the whole essay for you. Here is your essay :
The charts illustrates the data regarding the water usage for three different purposes ...
Firstly, the developing areas such as South America, Africa, Central and South East Asia have the largest consumption of water for agricultural use. This accounts for about four fifth of the total usage for these localities with Central Asia having the highest percentage of 88%. Europe and North America, however, have much less usage at 32% and 39% respectively.
On the other hand, the usage of water for industries is most significant in developed areas like North America at 48% and Europe having the greatest amount of 53%. In contrast, this percentage is extremely low from 12% to 5% usage for the other developing areas.
When it comes to the domestic category, compared to the other two usages of water, there is tenfold drop in the percentage to 7% for Central and South East Asia, 9% for Africa and 13% to 19% for the three other locations.
Some advice I would give to you is that :
1. You should mention the actual numbers and percentages from the charts.
2. No need to write personal opinions like (developed or developing areas).
3. Learn to use more synonyms.
4. It is not necessary to give a conclusion.
What matters is the details and comparisons of the figures in the charts.
For more help use these websites :
1. ielts material (Good for writing task 1 and 2 samples)
2. ielts-mentor (Good for speaking samples)
Use these websites to read high band score samples and learn from them.
Practice and practice. By the the way I got 7.5 in IELTS and currently trying to get study visa for Canada. Wish me luck and pray for me.
Hello mariana, I have taken the liberty to edit the whole essay for you. Here is your essay :
The charts illustrates the data regarding the water usage for three different purposes ...
Firstly, the developing areas such as South America, Africa, Central and South East Asia have the largest consumption of water for agricultural use. This accounts for about four fifth of the total usage for these localities with Central Asia having the highest percentage of 88%. Europe and North America, however, have much less usage at 32% and 39% respectively.
On the other hand, the usage of water for industries is most significant in developed areas like North America at 48% and Europe having the greatest amount of 53%. In contrast, this percentage is extremely low from 12% to 5% usage for the other developing areas.
When it comes to the domestic category, compared to the other two usages of water, there is tenfold drop in the percentage to 7% for Central and South East Asia, 9% for Africa and 13% to 19% for the three other locations.
Some advice I would give to you is that :
1. You should mention the actual numbers and percentages from the charts.
2. No need to write personal opinions like (developed or developing areas).
3. Learn to use more synonyms.
4. It is not necessary to give a conclusion.
What matters is the details and comparisons of the figures in the charts.
For more help use these websites :
1. ielts material (Good for writing task 1 and 2 samples)
2. ielts-mentor (Good for speaking samples)
Use these websites to read high band score samples and learn from them.
Practice and practice. By the the way I got 7.5 in IELTS and currently trying to get study visa for Canada. Wish me luck and pray for me.