Writing Feedback / Percentage of different types of energy used and their greenhouse emission in Australian household [2]

Hi everyone, I will have the ielts test soon but I'm very weak in the comparison still. Can you help me to take a look on my works and give me some comments?

household energy usage & gas emissions

Question:

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Answer:

The pie charts illustrate the percentage of different types of energy used and their greenhouse emission in Australian household.

From the first chart, it can be observed that heating is the most popular energy that household used. Over half of the Australian household use heating to provide energy. The second popular energy used in Australian household is water heating which have almost one-third of the household who are using it.

Moving to the second chart, it is found that water heating and other appliance emit the largest amount of greenhouse gases which contribute nearly one-third for each. Heating and refrigeration are the second energy sources that contribute the largest amount for greenhouse gases.

For water heating, the percentage of energy use and the amount of greenhouse gas emission is nearly the same. However, the percentage of greenhouse emission of heating is greatly lower than that of energy use by 27%. In contrast, the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions for both refrigeration and other appliances doubled the percentage of energy use in Australian household.

To conclude, there is no direct relationship between the amount of energy use and the greenhouse gas emission.

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  Question - Pie Charts
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 - Punishment for Children and impact on their development [4]

Hi everyone, I'm practicing the writing test in IELTS, would you please give me some comments to my works?

Discipline toward kids

Question:

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them to learn this distinction.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

Answer:

Everything has a good side and a bad side, punishment is no exception. Although there is a bad side for punishment, I still believe that it is important for having punishment to teach children about the correct values. I support this with the following reasons.

At first, punishment is an effective way to teach children for knowing what is wrong. Undoubtedly, praise can encourage children to do the right thing. In contrast, punishment can deepen children's memory for the wrong thing that they have done. Punishment has been used for over a thousand of years and it is one of the best way for teaching children according to past experience in human history. And now, punishment is still being using to punish the citizens who violate the law.

Secondly, punishment can provide the indication of the seriousness of fault that children made. Different level of punishment apply to different level of fault which allow children to know that which fault they should never do. For example, children can be punished by standing alone for five minutes if they quarrel with each other. However, if they fight with each other, the level of punishment should become higher. In this case, the punishment can be a standing for twenty minutes. Therefore, the children can know that the fault of fighting is a worse than quarrel.

Nevertheless, it cannot be denied that some kinds of punishment will cause a bad effect to children's psychological and physical health. In the past, parents may use physical punishment to teach their children. However, many experts already point out that it might damage the relationship between the parents and children and it also hurts the children physically.

Therefore, it is essential for us to decide which punishment should be adopted. Personally, I believe that physical punishment should never be used for teaching children as it hurts children in both psychological and physical aspect. We could use other punishments which is not harmful to children such as packing up trash and cleaning houses etc.

From what has been discussed above, we can finally draw the conclusion that punishment is needed for teaching children. However, we should carefully choose what kind of punishment we should use. Punishment that will cause any harm to children like hitting children should never be allowed.

Writing Feedback / Ability of Various Language for British Students - data based on the charts presented [4]

Hi, I am practicing the writing test for IELTS, would you please give me some comments for my works?

In addition, I am not sure if I can present the data in the form of "has rose from 30-35%, 15-20% and 10-15% respectively." and "the percentage has fell into a half from 2000 (20%) to 2010 (10%)" is correct. Also, I do not know if the tenses I used is correct.

Thank you very much!

Question:

The charts below show the proportions of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000 and 2010.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Answer:

Which foreign languages British students know?

The charts report the percentage of British students who can speak various languages in a particular university in 2000 and 2010 respectively.

Looking at the students who can speak Spanish only, another language and two other languages first. It can be observed that there is a 5% increase for each group of students from 2000 to 2010. From 2000 to 2010, the percentage of students who can speak Spanish only, another languages and two other languages has rose from 30-35%, 15-20% and 10-15% respectively.

With regard to students who can speak French only and no other language, the percentage of students result a falls from 2000 to 2010. For students who cannot speak other languages, the percentage has fell into a half from 2000 (20%) to 2010 (10%). For students who can speak French only, the percentage has dropped from 15% in 2000 to 10% in 2010.

For the students who can speak German only, the percentage keep unchanged at 10% in 2000 and 2010.

According to the above data, it can be found that over 80% and 90% of British students can speak at least two kinds of languages in 2000 and 2010 respectively. Furthermore, around one-third of the students can speak Spanish which leads Spanish to become the most common second language for British students in both 2000 and 2010.

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